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PL childbirth memory

snoopy

Charlie Brown's dog
Hello I'm snoopy and I wanted to share a past life memory with you. I don't know any names of any of my past lives and I am okay with that. It is enough to just feel. If a name comes it comes and if it doesn't it doesn't. I wanted to share a memory of a death. This memory came to me in a dream but it was so vivid and real I awoke screaming.

I am a young girl around 15 or so. I am pregnant and deep in child birth but I am so tired and I am afraid and alone. I have a deep yearning for my mother which makes my heart break because she hates me for disgracing our family. I am in a small room alone and I am not married. I am very cold and the pain is unbearable making me shiver uncontrollably. My legs are bent up and they shake so badly back and forth and I feel the bed creak from the shaking. I don't know how much time passes but there was alot of blood that felt sticky beneath me soaking the mattress which did not have any sheets. It felt like one of those old army striped mattresses or something. I don't have many thoughts just emotions. Love fear Anger all flitted through my heart. I remember thinking what a waste. I smelled my own sweat and a sweet sickly smell that I can't really explain. I felt my body go limp and all I could think of was I was going to die. That was when I woke up.

In this life I have never felt a need to have a baby. The thought has always been very terrifying for me and I can remember even as a child when my mother would say things like when you have kids.....I would always choke up and feel angry with her. One day she really upset me. I was about 13 I think and she (my mother) was talking to my father. She said that she wanted plenty of grandbabies and they were laughing and I remember thinking You didn't seem all that happy the first time. I felt a huge amount of anger toward her that moment. I mean I really wanted to hit her. Which is odd don't you think?

It wasn't until years later when I started having this dream that I believe my mother in that life is my mother in this life. I think we are being given a chance to heal what happend in that life and I'm sad to say I don't feel we are succeeding at all. I am still very frightened over having a baby. terrified in fact. It all seems so wrong to feel that strongly over something so natural. but I do. I don't know if I will ever feel comfortable with having a baby.

I do know that it is all my mother can talk about though. She is constantly asking me when I will make her a grandmother which leaves me sad and depressed. All I can think of is death and sadness when I think about having a child. I have talked to my husband about my fears and he is very supportive and I love children so I know that is not the issue. I would love to be a mother but the childbirth gets in the way.

Recently, we have been talking about adoption as an option for us. I don't know yet but I hope I can overcome this left over baggage from this girls horrible death. It makes me depressed just thinking of how alone she was when she died. I am not even sure if anyone knew where she was when she and the baby died. Perhaps god will give me and that child another chance if not in this life but in the next. Perhaps I have to overcome this thing with my mother before I can become a real mother. I also wanted to mention that my mother has always held a bit of distrust in me even though I have never really given her a reason to do so. She is always willing to believe the worst of me before the good so needless to say our relationship has always been a bit of a strain.

Thanks for listening

Snoopy
 
Hi Snoopy –

Your post actually gave me goosebumps this morning. :eek:

Last night I had several dreams in a row – my older sister was miscarrying a baby and she was all alone and crying. I was “there” but I could not help her – she could not see me. I kept calling out to her and trying to comfort her. Her pain, her tears – her screams and her grief were terrible. It really hit me hard --- and then reading your post on top of it – wow.

What an awful memory. :( You can’t help but feel sorry for that young girl – how scared and alone she must have been.

It wasn't until years later when I started having this dream that I believe my mother in that life is my mother in this life. I think we are being given a chance to heal what happend in that life and I'm sad to say I don't feel we are succeeding at all.

It’s interesting that your mother then – is your mother now. Perhaps on some level, you are working things out from that last life. Sometimes – the lesson isn’t what we expect it to be. ;)

Love fear Anger all flitted through my heart. I remember thinking what a waste. I smelled my own sweat and a sweet sickly smell that I can't really explain. I felt my body go limp and all I could think of was I was going to die.

I’m glad you’re looking into adoption – but perhaps the reason you are remembering – is to let go of those emotions. You said yourself -- you were holding onto "Love, Fear and Anger." It's hard -- but you can heal from whatever traumas this girl suffered.

It makes me depressed just thinking of how alone she was when she died.

It doesn’t seem like that young girl had any medical treatment at all – and childbirth has come a long way in such a short time. This time would be different from that experience -- you would have many people around you, excited for the arrival of the baby -- I'm sure.

I think you'd enjoy these threads:

Can the soul "Heal" from past life trauma & fear?


Deep Memory Process


Best of luck,

Ailish
 
Thanks so much for your post. I must say your dream gave me goosebumps as well. May I ask if the sister in your dream was your sister in this life? or was it a glimpse of another one? do you think I have been lead here to find some sort of closure with this?

Thankyou for the links. I must say I am not really one to share so seeking professional help with therapy is not something I would willingly do LOL. I've always been rather independent because I felt I had to be. I've never been what one would call a very open person either.

Anyway, I self meditate and I have believed in reincarnation for most of my adult life but I have never really sought outside help with regression or anything. So this is all new. I dont' know what possessed me to google past life but this is what came up and I felt the need to join.

Perhaps I am ready to heal after all. Things like this just takes time. I'll meditate some more and see if I can bring more details about this girls life. Would more info me to heal from this?

After some thinking about what you said about it was interesting that my mother was my mother in this life as well perhaps I have it wrong. Perhaps it is one sided and I am carrying the anger and hurt that girl felt toward her mother and applying to my mother here. I don't know.

I'll think on it some more. Anyone else is more than welcome to offer anyinsights as well. I must say after writing my experience down I feel almost relieved because I have never told anyone of this before. Not even my husband. All he knows is I am very afraid of childbirth but he doesn't know the reason why. I keep that part of myself from everyone. Perhaps that is the problems. ARG

okay I'll shut up now LOL

Snoopy :)
 
Hi snoopy,

May I ask if the sister in your dream was your sister in this life?

No, she was a sister in a past life. I only have 2 stepbrothers in this life. I probably would have never mentioned the dream -- except your post really made it "hit home." ;)

do you think I have been lead here to find some sort of closure with this?

That’s certainly a possibility. Who knows exactly why we’re all drawn here. There are many different schools of thought, many different theories being explored here – but the important thing for everyone -- is the forgiveness and the healing.

Thankyou for the links. I must say I am not really one to share so seeking professional help with therapy is not something I would willingly do

I understand. I find it helpful – to write down everything I’m feeling in a journal. Writing has always been a wonderful form of expression and release for me. By putting it on paper – I still get the story “out there” so to speak, but it’s still private –and is only shown to those I trust.

Would more info me to heal from this?

Perhaps – it will bring a greater understanding to you. If you feel it’s something you need to pursue, then I would recommend reading this thread: How can I learn about my past lives? I know you aren't new to reincarnation, but it's got some interesting points. :)


After some thinking about what you said about it was interesting that my mother was my mother in this life as well perhaps I have it wrong. Perhaps it is one sided and I am carrying the anger and hurt that girl felt toward her mother and applying to my mother here.

That’s possible, but I highly doubt it since your feelings towards her were so strong – especially when she spoke about having grandchildren, and your reaction “you didn’t seem that happy the first time” was so strong -- and unusual for a 13 year old. ;)

I simply meant – that perhaps the lesson you were meant to learn between you isn’t one you expected, or are even thinking about. Maybe it goes much deeper. ;) Sometimes it takes a lot of thought to really figure things out!

I'd love to hear more about this girl's life -- whenever you find out something! :D

Ailish
 
Hi snoopy~

What a traumatic event to remember.

I have to go with Ailish on the healing aspect. I think it is important that you work to heal that past event.

One thing I thought might help is talking to an Ob/Gyn. The next time you go for a physical, you may want to discuss with your doctor your desires to become a mother, but your fears ... which border on "phobia" ... of childbirth. You may find that your doctor will be able to sincerely help you with those fears.

Good luck!
 
I will certainly keep you updated. Unfortunately I don't always have control over what images I see and sometimes they are so murky all I am left with are feelings. That is definately my strong point. :rolleyes:

Anyway, I love your comments.

Thankyou
 
EDIT: LOL somehow I quoted myself Edited out I"m sure you guys can figure out who I am talking to lol ;)


Actually,

I have talked with my doctor about it and he is very encouraging but I still seem to be holding onto this fear. (I am a very stubborn person ;) ) Obviously I didn't tell him the cause of it though LOL

I plan on dong some meditation tonight before bed so maybe something will come through. I'll keep you posted and thankyou both :)
 
Hi Snoopy. Although you probably know this, since you do meditate, sometimes it can take a while to work though things. Be patient, and don't try to force anything, or that could block your efforts. Maybe before you clear your mind for meditation, a few minutes focused on your feelings of fear might help answers come to you.

John
 
Hi Snoopy. Blessings and good wishes to you and your husband. It can be a difficult journey, all of this exploring of our souls we seem to do. Its worth it, whatever you come up with.

I have heard many times of people having a detailed past life memory either through meditation, a dream, regression etc and after that feeling completley better-no more phobia. Maybe as you get more details on this girl's life, that will happen to you.

Also, if you do decide to have children yourself, have you considered a c-section? Would that make it easier if you weren't actually in labor?
 
Hello everyone it is me again :rolleyes:

It is nearly 2:30 am for me now. I did meditate this evening focusing on my fear for giving birth with no luck in visualizing this girls life however I did awake just now shaking and crying and I had the distinct impression I was searching for something in my dream. I wanted it so desperately. but that is all I can remember.

My husband awoke me because he said I was having a bad dream but I believe if I had been allowed to continue my dream I would have remembered much more. Of course he only wanted to take care of me so I can't complain much.

Anyway, just wanted to add this little tidbit. I promised I would keep you updated and I will.

As Vicky says this will most likely take awhile.

vicky,

Thankyou for your blessings they are much appreciated. Positive thoughts always help don't they? As far as C-sections are concerned I'm not sure. That might be an option but at this moment in time I think I need to heal before moving on with anything. I am very tired of being afraid all of a sudden. :( I would hate to bring that negativity into a childs life.

I need to get rid of this.
 
Hi Snoopy,

What a frightening memory! I think though, that surely you have lived more than just that one traumatic past life. Perhaps it would help to resolve this matter for you if you were to meditate with the desire to remember a past life when you did have children and childbirth was easy for you. If you were able to recall a happy pleasant life as a mother with many children, then perhaps your fear of childbirth in this life would fade.

It's just a thought - Your friend, Wicker
 
Very interesting, do you have an idea what year it was? I also have had a traumatic childbirth memory.

Its was the early 1920's, im young, but married, probably 19-20. I know i didnt want the baby. Im alone, its winter, or atleast cold. there are nurses, i dont remember a doctor. the room is so dark, not very hospital like. kinda like an offic. but im in the bed, and my hair is wet and in real life my stomach like flexes, uncontrolable. like when you throw up. that kinda feeling. I felt some pain down there.not like how i would imagine childbirth, more like, a stretching feeling, and kinda sharp. but it wasnt that bad. (by the way i am a male in this life) so then the baby comes out in a rush, and the nurses put in in a metal pan and carry her off. i just lay there alone and crying. Now i am opposite of you, in this life i have always had a desire to have kids, as soon as possible. although now i have matured to see what a mistake that would be, but i think that has to do with me, wanting to make up for my mistakes as a mother in that life. im not sure.

The only thing i researched mine, and most people still had home births in the 20's, although hospitals were starting to gain popularity as a childbirth option. but im not sure.

but what a sad memory you had, do you have any other memories from that life?
 
I'm male in this life, but I too have always found the whole notion of childbirth and pregnancy in general to be rather awful and disgusting. It almost seems primative that humans produce children that way. Not unsurprizing then that I recall several lives in which I or a loved one died of childbirth. I also have no desire to have children in this life however. I imagine this was quite common though such that everyone has experienced it to some degree. I think about 1 in 7 womern died in childbirth or from complications resulting from it prior to modern medical practices. It is probably only when the death was traumatic that it results in a phobia. It is significant that you mentioned feeling ashamed, afraid and alone when you died. From what researcherts have uncovered our dying thoughts in one life often carry over and strongly affect us in future lives. In your case the experience of childbirth is tied in with past life experiences of pain, isolation and unhappiness. I don't know what would be the best way to overcome this fear though. I would recommend regression therapy, but there's no guarantee it will cure you of your phobia. I wish you luck though in your healing process.
 
News


Hello everyone. I'm sure you don't remember me, but you all was so kind and everything I felt I owed it to you to let you know what was happening with me.


I am now almost 4 months pregnant. My due date is Feb 6th. I have been having alot of morning sickness but so far my doctor tells me everything is perfect with me and the baby.


I did alot of research and armed with information and alot of meditation and prayer, I bit the bullet and got pregnant. It didn't take me long maybe 2 months. I am still nervous and fearful but each time I think of the baby I do feel happiness. Maybe I don't feel completely at ease with the idea of childbirth but I want this child more than anything. Whenever I feel those feelings gripping me I say the Hail Mary Prayer and it gives me comfort.


Please pray for me. I feel that the only way to rise above these feelings is to face them and have the child that I now love so dearly.


thanks so much for your kindness.


Snoopy
 
Thanks for the update Snoopy... we will certainly keep you in our prayers.


You too should keep all of the positive energy you can muster. Your first child will be a wonder and a joy. I'm certain the lessons will be evident. Eat right, follow the doctors orders and read all you can about the wonders of motherhood. Some even engage the unborn in conversation. Make it a powerful, soulful and spiritual time!
 
Hello Snoopy,


I missed your thread the first time, but was touched by it now.


Congratulations on getting pregnant - it's such a miracle every time, imo! :) I'm convinced you remembered the dying in childbirth in order to be prepared and healed from that experience before giving birth in this life. I started remembering lots of PL experiences as a mother before and during my first pregnancy - and many of them were traumatic. I'm sure they were remembered for a reason. Now I have a beautiful soon 10 months old daughter, and everything has gone so well I didn't believe it could be this easy and natural.


Lately I have remembered a lot of difficult PL experiences as a mother to a son - and I wouldn't be surprised if my soul was preparing me for an arrival of a baby boy. ;)


Good luck with your pregnancy - you will be in my thoughts, and I hope you'll let us know once the wee one has arrived. :thumbsup: hug2.gif


Karoliina
 
Hello again.


I just wanted to add that my mother has been so sweet to me and just really wonderful. There has always been a sort of strain on our relationship but I broke down and told her everything a few months ago. I told her about the dreams and about my fear and anger toward her and I never thought my mother could be so understanding. She held me for such a long time and it felt so good to have that. She didn't laugh or shake her head at me she just told me she loved me and that alone was worth it.


Like I said I do still have fears about the actual childbirth but in my heart I know it will be okay. I feel the birth of this child will be my healing.


Also, I don't know if it was coming to this site again yesterday or whatever but last night I had another dream. I dreamed I was in a field and I was watching a small child with long blond hair and blue eyes. She was running to me and I to her and we were so happy. I woke up before we reached each other but it was very comforting.


Thank you all :)
 
That's wonderful news about you and your mother's relationship! :thumbsup:


Interesting about the dream. Many people see their future children in dreams before they are born. I suggest you write the dream into your journal and try to memorize the little girl's looks. It might just be your child grows up looking like her. ;)


Karoliina
 
I just read this thread and found it really poignant-- Congratulations Snoopy and good luck with your baby!


I have also had memories and fears concerning childbirth, and similar issues. I used to have very bad menstrual cramps and endometriosis, and from time to time right before my periods I would dream that I was laying on a bed in a white nightie with my stomach looking like a mountain in front of me and the baby just isn't coming out, then the picture fades. In this life I've been afraid to both get married and have children so I think at some point I was married off to someone I didn't like and forced to carry his child. But now that I'm more "grown up" I've been thinking about it again and realizing that I have free will this time, so hopefully if I meet the right person I'll have a happy ending to my story too :)
 
Hi Snoopy!


As Karoliina, I missed this thread the first time around, but wow. What a memory. What stroke a cord with me especially was that I also have a strong fear of childbirth. I haven't yet had any pl memories concerning it - which makes me think they're quite traumatic.


It makes me very happy to read that you're pregnant now and that your relationship with your mother has improved. It was indeed a very interesting dream with that little girl and I would strongly encourage writing it down :)


I hope to be just as cool as you someday! :thumbsup: :D
 
Baby girl


wow It has been a long time hasn't it?


First of all I just wanted to let you all know that I am now a proud momma of Alicia Marie. She was born on Feb 12th and weighed 7lb 1 oz and was 20 inches long. I am in love with my little baby.


I never imagined I could love a person as much as I love her. I wanted to let you all know about my little angel. Her birth was frightening for me but things went as smoothly as a birth can go.


I was in labor for only 8 hours and I'm told that is pretty good for a first birth. I only had to push for 30 minutes before she was born. My mother was very jealous lol. I had decided to go with natural childbirth so I took all the classes for breathing exercises and focusing and so forth. I didn't want anything to go wrong and I had read that epidurals can prolong the labor if given to early and I did not want that to happen at all lol.


I did panic a bit in the beginning I won't lie about that. It was terrifying for me and I wouldn't allow my husband to leave me for even a second (For some reason I kept thinking if he left I would die) but I think I did well, and I'm proud of myself.


I'm not sure the phobia I have for childbirth is gone but I do know that now I have a good memory of childbirth. It was painful but it was almost like a comfort to go through it. Like I was completing something.


thankyou all for you help.


Snoopy
 
Congratulations Snoopy, you sound like a very happy mum - :thumbsup:
 
congratulations :) you are indeed lucky for such a short labor...i was in labor for 22 hours with my older son, who is 10 now...and i was in labor for 25 hours with our toddler, he is almost 2...i have "felt" another little one around us for a long time now and when the time is right for us, im sure i will be pregnant again
 
Congratulations, Snoopy! :thumbsup:


Karoliina - who pushed only for 4 minutes giving birth to her first child (a girl, too) :tongue:
 
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