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Denial, Re-running, & Extreme opposites

Denial, Re-running, & Extreme opposites

  • Denial

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Re-runs

    Votes: 1 100.0%

  • Extreme Opposites

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    1
deborah

deborah

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Staff member
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Carol Bowman recommended a while back that I read Henry Bolduc's book Life Patterns for my research. It gives a few examples of how patterns work from life time to life time; but it is basically a self help book full of exercises, and how to take notes in a journal. The notes are for self reflection regarding current life scenarios and past life patterns.

There was however, a section that I became very interested in. It was with regard to recognizing the past mistakes one has made and how by honestly studying the patterns. He suggests it is a way we can gain and grow for the future. He identified three reoccurring themes -(reactions) that people often take in a life time that are not healthy or wise. They are as follows:

[1] In denying our past we try to avoid responsibility. There is no growth in denial.

[2]. In re-running a pattern, over and over, we stay stuck in a rut, unwilling to take new paths. There is no accomplishment in re-running.

[3]. In going to opposite extremes we see-saw at the far edge of responses. We pretend to change and grow, but there is no balance in extremes.
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Roger Woolger has documented case after case of extreme opposites. Some regressionists state that this is how we learn, but not stating HOW too make changes. They have also documented many cases of people who re-run life time scenarios or are in denial.

The exercises might require remembering a few past lives just so that you can see the patterns. But I also think you can see a pattern from just one past life into the current lifetime. Or perhaps your current life displays patterns you are aware of.

I remember my last three life times clearly, and I was amazed when I sat down and really thought about which one of the reactions I had personally chosen. {This is where free will comes into play - how we react to situations and life circumstances determines our future and has determined our past lives; at least IMO.} I had CHOSEN to re-run a pattern, over and over.

I also realized that I had already chosen HOW to break the re-running of those patterns. It was an epiphany for me, and helped me see the bigger picture. In a nut-shell; in 1986, with a high school diploma and three children at age 26; I was sweeping the floor and spirit told me to matriculate. I had no idea what that meant and had to go look it up in my dictionary. It means to go to College. So I did.

Ten years later, I graduated with a Masters Degree and now I am a full time professor. In the process, I broke chain after chain after chain of reactions that no longer served me.

This doesn't mean I think going to school is the only way to make changes, but it was my path and it has worked extremely well for me.

I am curious if others see any of Bolduc's three patterns represented in their life time scenarios. What (choices) have you made? Have you already made changes or are you looking for ways to make a change? What are your thoughts on Bolduc's Life Patterns?
 
In going to opposite extremes
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Why is that a bad thing? If you've done bad all your life, and suddenly you turn good after a realisation, how is that not change or growth? Instant change or growth, can happen, it's the way of the Zen.
 
You might be interested in the thread Enantiodromia -opposing opposites. In it Ailish stated:

Jung speaks about this as well. For Jung, all life and energy are a play of opposites. To avoid falling into enantiodromia one must value both opposites to achieve transcendent function.
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In other words - balance - as Bolduc put it. ;)
 
I can definitely see how I've re-run several themes throughout my past lives -- that affected how and why I chose certain situations to keep re-occurring even into my present life.

I believe that even as a small child, I understood intuitively the need for a change from previous patterns of emotion and fear. I embraced, accepted, loved and forgave -- consciously and with pure intent. That which I could not do in other lifetimes -- I could do in this one, and for me, that broke one of the biggest cycles I have been repeating. Already this life has been much different from my previous incarnations. ;)

Recognition of recurrent themes within our past and present lives can help us choose to change the patterns that hold us stagnant in one role. With recognition comes change -- and with change comes growth.

Ailish
 
A good question, but difficult to answer for me - at this point. Because in a way I can see parts of all three in the patterns I remember from my lives. But I'll think about it. :)

Karoliina
 
:tongue:
Deborah said:
You might be interested in the thread Enantiodromia -opposing opposites. In it Ailish stated:



In other words - balance - as Bolduc put it. ;)
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You are spoiling me with all these threads you post for me :tongue:

I still disagree with the last one though. Sometimes, if you want to change who you are, it can come all of a sudden and it's all good. You don't have to balance change, which I suppose means changing gradually. If your intention is sincere, and you have the will power, you can transform your entire life within a moment. You just need that instant flash of inspiration and enlightenment - again, the way of the Zen.
 
The five lives I've uncovered spanning 1500 years have all had similar themes, seeking answers and self discovery. I feel I've made slow and plodding progress spiritually, which is the exact kind of person I am, and have been in each life I've found. Personally I see no problem with slowly evolving, which may or may not be a problem in itself.

John
 
HI tiltjlp and Raj,

It's not necessarily about how fast you make changes or how slow. For me, it's about self realization, recognizing the patterns and making conscious choices in order to improve my future and perhaps the future of those I love.

Change is perhaps one of the most difficult things we face - individually and collectively. Every focused idea has the potential to become reality. We need to be part of the positive and active process, and part of that process is being aware of our thoughts, feelings and emotions. This means being present in every moment, which is not an easy thing to do. It takes a lot of attention, and a shift in awareness. It is estimated that we create over 60,000 thoughts per day, and they will manifest whether they are good, bad, or indifferent.

I imagine each of us re-runs things in our current life, chooses denial on occasion, and wishes for or creates extreme opposites. Being aware of our choices - in the MOMENT is what counts. At least for me. ;)
 
it's about self realization, recognizing the patterns and making conscious choices in order to improve my future and perhaps the future of those I love.

Good point Deborah. I ran into this today at work. I have been working temp jobs and a few weeks ago I was at a Target store where they are remodeling the store. I was there helping to put in new shelving. Idle thought was at the time, "what would it be like having to stock these shelves?"
Well today I found out!:rolleyes: I spent the day stocking some of those shelves. Coincidense??? I decided to take it as a lession in watching what I think about regarding this life. And also in what I would like to have happen in future lives too.

Jack

Jack
 
Deborah said:
Change is perhaps one of the most difficult things we face - individually. . . . Every focused idea has the potential to become reality. We need to be part of the positive and active process, and part of that process is being aware of our thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I imagine each of us re-runs things in our current life, chooses denial on occasion, and wishes for or creates extreme opposites. Being aware of our choices - in the MOMENT is what counts. At least for me. ;)
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I agree that change is a key factor. I sense that I've never been a risk taker before, so my 7 years down South was a Growth Challenge for me. There were a number of lessons I needed to learn, so that I could finally become a mature adult, something that may have been lacking until this life. I think we, and our souls, evolve at different speeds, and that may be to help others, in addition to improving ourselves.

John
 
The two months, as of the 22nd, that I've been here, have shown me there are more possibilities than I imagined. I'd never explored reincarnation, since it's been a fact for me at least 40 years. I meditated, as I continue to do, but didn't reach out or consider my options. I've had memories, Imprinting, and enlightenment over the years, and was satisfied. I originally voted Re-runs.

During these two months I didn't learn much new. I did refine my beliefs through reading opinions and advice from others. What is exciting is that after about a 3 month period where I felt disconnected, I have once more restarted my journey, and it seems my vision and purpose is much clearer. My vote now would be Extreme Opposites. As in all things spiritual, the message seems to be patience.

John
 
I'm still having difficulties with this question, but I voted for re-runs.

Although the past lives I remember have taken place in very different environments and conditions, I think I find more similar patterns than extreme opposites in them.

Then again there has been some denial involved and I'm afraid there still is... I've got a long way ahead of me!

Karoliina
 
Extreme opposites... with the exception that behind the scenes of these very varying appearances there´s somehow always the same little old lost fool fumbling for a way out...

Still I think this present life must represent at least a beginning of... or a return to, maybe... a willingness to find a perspective sort of more inclusive of ´lamb´and ´lion, some of the more apparent poles being a wish for quiet and the violent-minded streak.
 
some thoughts..........

I am wondering, if people who rerun scenarios from life time to life time are fixer personalities, constantly trying to fix the problem and cannot see the bigger picture so they keep rerunning it in the hopes that they can create the opportunity to change it.

I wonder if people who live extreme opposites are caught in a perpetual cycle of reflection, which makes it difficult for them to find balance, to find the center - the seat of the soul and their Being.

My biggest curiosity at the moment is those that choose denial. One of my daughters seems to be caught in this pattern, and it wasn't until recently that I thought about her denial being a past life issue as well as a present life issue. Being a re-run person myself - and a fixer personality; I cannot help but wonder about my role - in helping her change her pattern.

If denying the past - creates denial in the present moment how can someone move past it? Especially when it's about relationships, love, and family. I know - it is a big question ------- any thoughts would be appreciated.
 
Interesting question:thumbsup:

I suspect the solution lies in when will we as soul decide are we going to put up with the pain to maintain the status quo or are we willing to put up with another kind of pain while we move beyond the habit that is causing the pain.

I think that all to often we keep hoping circumstances will change so we don't have to.

This is where goal setting comes in. Lots of us have material, financial or relationship goals. How about spiritual goals???:butbut: Is what we are doing in our day to day life getting us closer to the spiritual goal we set for ourselves before we came into this life?

Most of us don't know what our lifetime goal is, but there is no reason why we can't look at what we are doing that seems to cause a repetitive cycle in our life and decide I am going to stop this and do this instead:D

Jack
 
Good questions Deborah. I'm also a re-run person/soul. I think that I've at least made some change for the better, since my big issue seemed to be one of self-doubt. I wonder though if changing from re-running life patterns is required for spiritual growth.

Maybe my human side is deluding me, but I feel I've made a lot of advancement soul-wise. Where I was very self-focused in the first half of my life, my focus has turned toward appreciating and helping others see their potential. Many people helped me change, and I have tried to repay them by helping others. While my spirit/soul might decide differently for my next life, I'd be content to re-run this kind of life again. Not only because I'm sure I still have lessons to learn, but because I derive a lot of satisfaction in helping others.

John
 
jackh said:
This is where goal setting comes in. Lots of us have material, financial or relationship goals. How about spiritual goals???:butbut: Is what we are doing in our day to day life getting us closer to the spiritual goal we set for ourselves before we came into this life?

Most of us don't know what our lifetime goal is, ........
Jack
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In the tradition that explored the Eternal Law, people came up with four logical goals for human life - dharma, artha, kAma and moksha and four stages (Ashramas) of life in which these are to be achieved. These four goals are necessary for a well-rounded and fruitful life experience. In the first stage (brhamacharya Ashrama), one is a learner and is to learn the essential principles of dharma or the Law that governs our lives. One is also expected to learn to align one's life to Rta or the "course of things" so that it accords with and is in harmony with the Law or the "manner of being". This is the lesson that one should carry into the remaining stages of life. In the next stage (gRhasta Ashrama), one engages in activity of acquiring material means (artha or material wealth or financial goals) to provide for sustenance for one self and one's family. One is also expected to fulfill his aesthetic desires, his need to love and be loved (kAma or desire or relationship goals). Finally, after having fulfilled one's worldly goals, a person is expected to attend to his spiritual goals (moksha or liberation). In this goal, it is best to disengage oneself from the world to some extent - vanaprastha Ashrama or living away from society e.g., in the woods, or sanyAsa Ashrama or complete renunciation. These goals naturally follow from proper understanding of Eternal Law and they are intended to allow one to live so that all that is necessary for growth is experienced in harmony with nature and the world.
 
Kris's sequence for learning about life follows one I have heard before. Unfortunatly it does not seem to allow for an individual to make a choice to go down a different path. I think that with parents who are open minded that all of these can be worked on from an early age. Soul will set up a cycle where there will be time spent on all of them much more frequently and yet keep all of them in a forward mode. To see this you only have to find a young person who is sincere in applying what they learn in church (spiritual education) to their daily life and at the same time pursue school or work.

Jack
 
Jack, what I wrote about are the general goals for a fulfilling life. A path one takes to attain those goals has to be tailored for each individual. Those who came up with the goals recognized the need for individual needs. They expressed this need by the term adhikAra bheda, which simply means differences in aptitude. One's aptitude necessarily calls for a path that matches it. Incidently, difference in aptitude is the result of what one has done before, i.e., one's karma.
 
HI Curious Girl,

Denial as a present life issue is a hard nut to crack.
It might take a few harsh confrontations to wake up
and to ask yourself: where am I standing and where am I going? Perhaps it's only a matter of time and perhaps it takes "only" a midlife crisis and not a entire new life
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I have asked my daughter that exact same thing: and more. I am afraid a mid-life crisis is a life time away for her yet. A year ago spirit told me she would have "it" figured out when she was 30. Three years. I thought at the time she would figure out what her profession would be.

But in the past year, I now recognize the message means her relationship with her ex. I have also concluded she is addicted to the drama. Which I also - do not know how to deal with. I am working on it though. Baby steps. Thank you.

Kris - the "Eternal Law" you quote here so often, doesn't work for me. In my opinion, I am responsible, I create my reality, and Karma is not a Law - at least not to me. It is instead a much more subtle reflection of human existence. Constantly in flux, always in motion and continuously undergoing change. When I embrace change and make the conscious choice to move in any one direction, life takes on a whole new meaning. : angel But that's just me and my experience.

When complex terms and endless definitions become the only staple for understanding - I think the deeper meaning becomes lost. IMO.
 
Well, I personally chose re-runs because that's how my lifetimes have been for the last three I think (including the begining of mine so far). But I think we've all experienced denial, extremes, etc.
I think it's important to find out that you're living repeats or denial or extremes because then you can change your ways and stuff. I know that's what I've done this time around. anyways, interesting topic.
 
I also chose reruns because the very few past lives I remember are all quite similar.

But I also believe that we may be more prone to remembering past lives that are similar to the one that we are in now for guidance. So, we may believe that we've had more similar "rerun" type past lives when in all actuality, we are more diverse ?
 
lagrima said:
I also chose reruns because the very few past lives I remember are all quite similar.

But I also believe that we may be more prone to remembering past lives that are similar to the one that we are in now for guidance. So, we may believe that we've had more similar "rerun" type past lives when in all actuality, we are more diverse ?
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I also believe strongly in this too, Angela. It's as if I am "in tune" with certain lives that are like this one.

Maybe it's different for other people.
 
Well, I don't really like any of the options (typical!).

I would not say I swing wildly between extremes, but perhaps I do kind of gently oscillate back and forth a bit - mostly my male and female lives seem to have some similarities in theme - male = war, female = love - but even within these broad boundaries there are exceptions - lives where neither was particularly predominant, lives with a bit of both. Last time I had a few tragic love affairs in the midst of the Blitz for instance.

However, even within those two aspects I have had many different experiences of love and war - some happy, some sad, some very violent and aggresive, some more intelligent and controlled. Sometimes it takes a strong right arm to manage other naughty people effectively, to protect one's village from attack and so on.

I have often remet the same people, but our relationships have varied wildly - I have had romantic relationships with people I had killed for instance, although not the other way around to the best of my knowledge - except in my 'fantasies' sometimes - you know - "Can't shoot 'em". :laugh: Former boss / friend - things like that. Mostly in this life I have been doing a lot of patching up and keep making friends with people who were rivals or enemies or victims once upon a time. I have given and received help from people who I have had issues with in the past. Keeps happening.

I think, like Aillish, this life is quite different to a lot of previous ones and I am doing quite a bit of consolidation in preparation, hopefully, for some sort of 'onwards and upwards' impetus.
 
Interesting thread, I chose, re-running, because that is exactly what i seem to be doing.

I didn’t realize how much my present life mirrors my past life until just recently. I had my first regression about 2 years ago, and have regressed probably 20-25 times to the same life. During these regressions i slowly unfolded facts about the life i once had. And only through re-reading my regression experiences (i type them all up immediately after a regression) i started to notice how similar my actions and personality is the same in this life. I think, i mirror her actions, when i reach the age i was in a past life. Which is a little frightening considering how my life ended up in my late 20's and 30's.

In my past life i had big dreams, and big plans, that changed constantly. I did leave home at 16 or 17 to go to the city (Pittsburgh) I had some sort of plan i guess, but didn’t really think it through. I partied, i had fun, i slept around..alot, and then kinda in spur of the moment, got married to the guy i just happened to be with at the time. Probably cause i thought it would be fun. This was 1929 when i got married. I got pregnant very soon after, but i had already become bored, and wanted another change. Had my daughter in the winter of 1930. I had already been having an affair before i got pregnant, and continued it until the 1940's. Where we lost touch. I worked a couple different jobs in the 30's and 40's. and i felt like my daughter ruined my life. which i just chose her to blame rather than myself. my husband had become an alcoholic by the mid 30's, and started physically abusing me. he also had at least one affair. I also drank heavily, and self medicated until my death in 1947 (i strongly feel that was the year, plus my regressions have never went past 47). I also noted on several memories i had extreme anger issues (i actually just remembered this memory again) one memory i was in the kitchen, and looking for the salt and pepper, and became extremely angry, and was slamming things, and kinda snapped. I never really thought about it, but i wonder if there was some significance for me to remember that.

In this life i have big dreams, and big plans, that change constantly, yet never pursue them. Right now i have put off going back to school twice, and plan to go to the university and live in the dorm and do the whole college experience. I have been accepted multiple times to multiple schools yet i do nothing. I am working full time at Bed Bath and Beyond, as a keyholder/front end lead, and feel safe, but unhappy. I also have a plan to get my own apartment and live here in town, and go to community college for two years. But i am constantly compelled to just pack up, get on a bus and go. start fresh, start a new life. Its kind of a fantasy of mine. to save up all my money, and just go wherever, see places. Start a life somewhere. but i don’t. all my life i have been one to get bored, and want a change. With everything i do, or become involved in. and i noted that same habit in my past life. I also would in this life, get married kind of spur of the moment, just cause i thought it would be fun. i could really see myself doing that. I haven’t really had too many intimate relationships, but i wonder how my relationships will be like in the future. my most recent , whatever you want to call it. I was extremely afraid to rush into anything, afraid to ruin a friendship, and in the end i ended up with neither a friend nor a love interest. We just drifted apart. So im not sure how that aspect of my life is going to replay. Also in this life, i have noticed lately, especially, I have some anger issues. I used to be able to let things go, but now i seem to constantly be on the defensive, and get mad about really stupid things.

I’m also finding it very difficult to make any changes, because its just who i am. So, i probably will replay much of my past yet again.

my theory is i was reborn 1949, and was a teenager in the 1960's which i probably became involved in drugs, and heavier drugs of the 70's and 80's which probably caused my death. I’m sure i repeated the same life, and im sure i had a lot of issues, due to the abuse, and self-abuse, and extreme depression. so its probably the reason i never regress to that life, cause its the one before i need to focus on, cause its the root of the issues i need to work through. sure im nostalgic for the 60's, but that life probably has no relevance for me to regress to, as of now at least.

hm.

edit- i forgot to mention, though i get bored quickly and want a change. i also hate change, so that probably accounts for my feeling of being trapped. wanting a change, but never brave enough to make it, thus succumbing to depression.
 
Gosh Hippy16.

Well, the first key to breaking a pattern is to recognise that it is a pattern I guess, huh?

You are doing good work this life in figuring this out, so perhaps you will be able to break the negative aspects of the pattern (self-destructiveness, not following through on things you start) but still accentuate the positive (a lighthearted sense of fun and adventure).

A nice balance between the desire for safety and the urge to excell and extend yourself would probably be ideal I suppose? How about making some medium-sized plans and see how that goes?

Boredom is a constant bugbear in my life too. I have learned to embrace 'tranquillity' nowadays as a neccessary and restorative part of life from time to time when I find myself becalmed.
 
Hippy~

I can relate to so many "issues" you talk about ... and just in *this* current life of mine. It's hard to choose which road to take today when the whole map is wide open to you.

I've bounced from goal-to-goal, profession-to-profession, relationship-to-relationship ... even house-to-house(!) all of my life. It seems like we (you and I) went down this path before. I won't go into great detail, but there are a couple things I wanted to touch on. For years I went through the whole feeling of not being able to stick with any one thing and many times, I felt like it was circumstances beyond my control that were partly (if not sometimes fully) to blame. However, I went through a period of time where I was just worn-out by the whirlwind of it all and sat down and reallllllly thought about where I wanted to see myself in five years - - what did I really want out of life. Pretty much, that was all I had to do - - think of what my goal was just a couple of times (in other words, I didn't sit and dwell on it 24/7), and it became my reality. By 30, things began pulling together, although some things were still a bit askew. But I think in this last year, those last few fringes have finally been tucked-in and tamed, and I just turned 40. Forty may sound horribly old, but for me, it seems like just yesterday that I was 25.

Maybe doing some focus work during some meditations will help you. Think about where you'd like to be in five years, ten years, twenty ... forty ... and that may help you narrow down which road(s) to travel *today.*
 
tang,yeah, i mean i can see the relation between the two lives, but then im living my current life and forget about my past life. its only when i step back and say, hey, im doing the same thing again. and yeah i always seem to just jump to the biggest plan, instead of say going to community college, then advancing on.

Thanks moon, the thing is though, like i dont know where i want to be in 10 years. I used to be so sure, up until 12th grade, then everything changed. But i think im just going to go to UofL, and just do it. but i say that, then ill probably be doing something different. idk.
 
Courage and discipline young one. :laugh:

Back in the day, this was something I learned the hard way (it took more than once).

Yes, and go to school!
 
Hippy~

If I had it to do over again (how many times have you heard that?) ... I'd have gone to school sooner and focused on that, even if I changed my major 20 times while going. Waiting tends to create more things to focus on and makes it more difficult to stay focused on just school. Plus, even though I was only 24 when I went back to school, I felt significantly older than the 18 year-olds I was sharing classes with. Their concerns were where they were going to go party after class, while I was concerned with making good grades and feeding my son. While I rarely meet a stranger, I did feel out of place.
 
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