Life in "Pioneer times"

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Jadeswan, May 2, 2011.

  1. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Last night I had a recurrence of my childhood asthma. (I haven't had but a few other episodes in adulthood.) During childhood my asthma was triggered by exercise or at night by excess dust or smoke (we had a wood burning stove.) I had been re-reading Carol's book about children's past lives and I had a strong feeling that the episode was past life related. I relaxed myself as much as I could while coughing and since I was very tired, almost dozing, I found myself slipping easily into a past life. (During this regression I found myself slipping back and forth from first person to third person views so I apologize if the account is rather confusing.)

    I found myself in an open room with a fireplace at one end. I was lying in a
    wooden cradle. The room was dim. By the soft glow of a dying fire in the fireplace I could see a smallish table across from me. I wasn't crying but I was awake. A teenage girl entered the room and walked over to me. Suddenly my face was covered with a feather pillow. It smelled dusty. She pressed it against my face as I struggled to breathe. It was so heavy and I felt frantic
    even though for some reason I couldn't move or struggle much. I heard the girl whisper or I sensed her thought that she would blame the cat for my death. (Probably a reference to an old belief that cats could "steal" a baby's breath.) I kept thinking, "Why? Why?"

    Suddenly the pillow was removed but it was as if I fell into a deep sleep or passed out. I carefully moved forward in time expecting to find I had died but the next thing I saw was the image of a little brown-haired girl about four years old wearing a long dingy white dress. I knew it was me. Only one thing stood in the forefront of my mind---the same girl who had tried to smother me. I saw a clearer picture of her. She had light skin and long black hair. Her cheeks and lips were very red and she was incredibly tense and passionate. She would tell me she would throw me down the well if I was bad. I was terrified of her.
     
  2. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    I moved forward through time with no special memories surfacing except a fear of the girl and feeling of living in the shadow of her hatred. I lived in a farm house with my grandmother and this girl. I grew to young womanhood and got to know a young man from a neighboring home. He was shy and rather apologetic but I liked him. He commenced courting me in a timid sort of way but then I became ill with consumption and was sent to a sanitorium. I was gone for some time but I was able to get better. When I came home I asked my family why my young man hadn't come to meet me.


    My old nemesis told me that she had told him I had died. I should have been


    angry but instead I felt numb. However I grabbed the bag with my belongings and walked out of the house. I have a clear image of myself from behind. I'm wearing a long skirt and a light blouse and carrying a bag (perhaps what might have been called a carpet bag.) My hair is pulled up on my head in a rather tousled bun. I'm walking alone down a dirt road between two fields. When I arrived I was told that my young man was in the barn. The memory is confused here. I'm not sure if he was just mourning me or considering suicide.


    Perhaps I didn't know for sure then. I held and hugged him and we agreed to get married. I didn't go back home. I stayed with the pastor and his wife until the wedding and then we lived with my husband's parents. We had not been married all that long when my grandmother died and I found that she had left her house and a small store of money to me. My parents had died in an epidemic when I was a baby. I was my grandmother's closest relative except for the woman who had tried to smother me as a baby. She was my cousin. Her mother was my grandmother's daughter but she had conceived my cousin illegitimately. My grandmother cared for the child but because of her prejudice against her birth she refused to receive her on the same footing as me, her "legitimate" grandchild. My cousin was very bitter because of this. I wanted to leave her and her hatred far behind so I deeded her the house and land and half the money. I took a horse and wagon and the other half of the money and my husband and I moved to another state---to Arizona, I believe. My husband opened a carriage shop. I remember going to see him at the shop and all the curls of wood lay like straw on the floor of the shop and crunched under one's feet. We had a little girl and a little boy. (I believe they are my children in this life.) They loved to play in the carriages their father made. I became pregnant with a third child. I had a late miscarriage. I bled and bled and I could feel my life flowing away with the blood. I could feel myself getting lighter and lighter, trying to float away. I fought and struggled to stay with my children. I wanted to be there for them. My little girl was strong and independent and I felt she might be okay but I especially worried that my little boy would be sad and lonely. I couldn't fight anymore and I drifted away. I was dead.
     
  3. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    One interesting thing is that I suffered a series of miscarriages in this life and I had a very strong fear of bleeding to death and leaving my children. Even when I wasn't bleeding enough for that to be a rational fear, I was terrified. I still feel extra protective towards my son and have had to fight a feeling of guilt if I left him with anyone else even for short periods of time. Two or three times in the past he has put his arms around me out of the blue and said, "Mama, don't die." (I never made any mention of my fear of dying and leaving them and I've been very careful not to seem overprotective of him.) I wonder if he had some memory of that life too.
     
  4. Shiftkitty

    Shiftkitty Registered User

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    Very interesting! Yeah, just holding a pillow over someone's face until they stop moving isn't enough to kill. It's only enough to make them pass out. She would have had to held it there for several minutes.


    I remember that superstition about cats stealing your breath. I snicker at that. The only thing my cats want to steal is my ice cream (especially Merlin!).


    I'm glad you got back with your man. I was hoping that douchebag wouldn't get her way! Do you remember what part of Arizona, and was it a state or a territory?
     
  5. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Thank you for the response, Shiftkitty. I don't know if Arizona was a territory or state in that life. I just had the word come into my head. I'm not even sure if it's accurate because I am familiar with the fact that people with lung problems often moved to dry places like Arizona in past times. q6gif


    I have had several past life regressions with my husband reading a meditation for me and I think one reason this life never came up before even though it is a relatively recent one is that I unwittingly blocked it. I remember thinking at several points, "I don't want to remember a life in the U.S. during pioneer times because I know too much about that period of history to feel secure that it's a memory." I can't help but wonder if that's why it had to manifest in physical form to get my attention. It's funny because I was afraid I might unwittingly make something up from that time period but those memories aren't like anything I would have made up if I were to create a story from that time period. It was just so down to earth and real. It's hard to describe.


    I should be able to pinpoint the time period fairly accurately since the window of time when there were sanitoriums and carriage makers is a fairly small one.
     
  6. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    I did a little research and it looks like sanitoriums were common around the very end of the 19th century and early in the 20th. The word "sanitorium" came into my head very clearly so I'm pretty sure it was during a time when that word was commonly used. Around 1900 is when Arizona begin being touted as a good place for people with "consumption." I also read that there were about 10,000 carriage makers in the U.S. around that time.
     
  7. Shiftkitty

    Shiftkitty Registered User

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    My father was from Prescott, Arizona, and my mother, who had asthma, found the air there quite to her liking. Prescott is in the northern part of the state in the high desert plateau. She might have liked Phoenix in the low desert even better! If you get the chance, look up the "Sharlot Hall Museum" in Prescott. http://sharlot.org/ is the website. Visit in person if at all possible. It might jog more than a few memories!
     
  8. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    How interesting! Thank you, Shiftkitty. :thumbsup:
     
  9. Shiftkitty

    Shiftkitty Registered User

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    You're quite welcome! I used to live in Prescott and Mayer, Arizona. We were pretty much in poverty, along with many others of our "social class" (for lack of a better phrase), and many of the families still used things that had been passed down for generations. A dress I needed for a chorus performance in high school was made on a 100-year old hand-crank sewing machine that had belonged to the seamstress' great-grandmother! It was, therefore, somewhat odd to me to go to museums and see things on display that were still in use in my and my friends' homes. I was like "Wait. This is a museum piece?" :laugh:
     
  10. Indian

    Indian Senior Registered

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    Interesting story!


    You got your children back :D Have you met someone in this life that reminds you of your then husband and terrible cousin?
     
  11. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    That is funny, Shiftkitty, about the items in the museum being familiar to you. When I was eight we lived in an old school bus and actually used an outhouse. I got in trouble once because a lady thought I was lying about it. When older people would say, "When I was a kid, we didn't have running water or electricity, we had to use an outhouse and our only heat was a woodstove," I would just nod and say, "Me too." It got some strange looks.


    Indian, yes, I got my children back. :) I find that very comforting and it seems to make the memory more healing as well. So far I can't think of anyone in this life who reminds me of my husband or cousin in that one. I think I'd know if I met her, although perhaps she would have changed a lot between now and then. She was so ALIVE. I couldn't help admiring that about her somehow, despite how horrible she was.
     
  12. Tinkerman

    Tinkerman Administrator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hello Jadeswan and welcome. Thank you for sharing your story. It is of particular interest to me because of my own memories during that time period. I was my great grandfather who settled this area of the plains in the 1870s. And I too have been reunited with my two sons who died tragically. It took me some time to come to grips with it all, but to say the least, I am elated at the knowledge of reincarnation.


    I have done considerable reading on this topic for sometime and it is not uncommon for people to return as an ancestor. Does any of this relate to a distant great or great-great grandparent? Are you able to see the location/town of your grandmother's farm?


    Aside from answering the "why" on your physical illness (asthma), what else have you learned from the theory of reincarnation?


    Once again thank you for sharing your story, I look forward to hearing more from you.
     
  13. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Tinkerman, I'm glad you were reunited with your children as well. I read your stories when I first joined the forum and was very moved by them. I'm glad to have a chance to tell you that.


    I think there are several things about reincarnation that stand out to me. One is that those we love are not really lost to us forever. I think believing in reincarnation also encourages us to have more compassion on others even though we may not agree with their choices in life. If you acknowledge there may be a lesson they need to learn from those choices, it is easier not to be so judgmental. Also, while it in no way diminishes my compassion for people experiencing a very difficult life, it comforts me to think that perhaps their next life will "make up for it" in some way. I think the biggest relief about reincarnation is the feeling that I don't have to get everything right this time. I was raised in fundamental Christianity and it was drummed into my head over and over that we had to do everything perfectly in this one chance at a life. I got scared to do or try anything because I was afraid of messing up my one chance. Belief in reincarnation helped relieve some of that fear. I will do the very best I can this time around but I will get more chances to "get it right" as I need them.


    I've learned a lot from my past life memories about various fears in my life and why I have certain responses to certain things. Those memories have answered a lot of questions for me and helped me see my life in a different way. This perspective has empowered me to be more mindful that I have a choice about my responses to what happens to me in this life. I've been through a lot in my past lives and knowing this gives me more courage to face what may come my way in this life.


    It's possible the woman I remember being was an ancestor of mine. I don't recall any of my ancestors being in Arizona around that time but I'm not that familiar with my dad's side of the family so it's still a possibility. It's a very interesting thought. Unfortunately, I'm not even sure of the state she originally came from, much less a town name. I'm very bad with names in this life and that seems to show up in my past life regressions. I have lots of memories of feelings, events and even little details but I'm much more vague on dates and names. I get a strong feel of the "essence" of the people around me (I used to call it an emotional signature) so I think that would make it easier to recognize those I knew in past lives but it's still frustrating that I usually don't remember them by name.
     
  14. Ghost of Gumby

    Ghost of Gumby Hi, Friends : )

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    What a strong PL memory Jadeswan. That had to have been intense for you went this girl wanted to kill you. It seems like you had to overcome much turmoil in this time.
     

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