Looking for Isabella

Discussion in 'Children's Past Lives -Age 7 & under' started by Halenka, Dec 30, 2002.

  1. Halenka

    Halenka New Member

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    This is the first time I have looked at this forum. Yesterday I sat in Borders all day reading Carol's second book about children reincarnating into the same family and I'm looking for more info.

    My daughter Isabella was born on the 2nd Sept 2001 and died on the 19th of Oct 2002. She was 13 1/2 months old - defineitely too young to leave. She started having seizures when she was 6 months old in March 2002. She had 2 single siezures in March, one single in May, one single in June, 2 singles and 3 doubles in July, 2 singles and 3 doubles in August, 4 doubles in September and 1 double on the 3rd of Oct which was the last time she had seizures before she left. She was diagnosed as having epilepsy and was consequently given medication but I was never comfortable with that diagnosis. We tried on a number of occasions to wean her off the medication because she just wasn't doing well on it. Even when she was fully medicated during all of August she still had 8 seizures. So in September we saw a homeopath who helped us wean Isabella off the medication and gave us homeopathics to use if she did have seizures while coming off the medication. By the beginning of October she was completely off the drugs and she just blossomed from there. She started popping out more teeth and her hair started to grow. We thought she was finally healed and then she left quietly in her sleep some time between 2am when I last breastfed her and 6.12 am when my Mum found her in bed. My husband tried to revive her and when the ambulance arrived they tried too but said that she had been gone for too long.

    There are so many things I want to know like who was she before she was my Isabella? Why did she come to experience all those horrible seizures and possible misdiagnoses and then just when we thought we had helped her little body to heal - then she leaves. My Mum thinks she left it right til the last minute to leave and that if she had stayed she could have been ok until she was 5 and then had a massive seizure that left her very damaged and then unable to leave. I honestly don't know. We have been to see a few psychics and mediums since she left and have been told by the majority of them that Isabella will come back to me in my next child and she will be healthy. I'm so scared though - had she worked everything out in this lifetime that she needed to? I couldn't handle it if she came back and had even 1 more seizure as a final ending to that trauma.

    She also had a number of birthmarks which the neurologist checked out everytime she went into hospital after having a seizure. One was a strawberry nevi on her head which wasn't there at birth (we only noticed this in photos after she left). It appeared after (not sure when)and was quite red for most of the time (about 1/8 - 1/4 in diameter). It was fading before she left. The other two - one on her knee and one in the crease between her bottom and her leg that looked like a vaccination scar that you would have on her arm. These were the visible ones. When she had a bath she had some other patches on her bottom that appeared white while the rest of her bottom would be pink from the warm water. Mum thinks she saw some of these on her back as well although once she was able to sit unaided she hated it when you tried to lie her back in the bath even though she loved sitting and playing in the water.

    There is just so much - I feel like I'm rambling but if anyone could shed some light on any of this it would be much appreciated.

    Halenka
     
  2. madison

    madison Senior Registered

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    I love the name Isabella. I named my miscarried daughter that. Her short presence in my life was both too short yet very sweet. I honestly believe she was a child from a past life just "checking in" to say hello to me and spend a few weeks.

    I hope that your Isabella returns to you when you are ready. I am so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to guess/say what her reasons were for coming and going, what they learned, what karma they worked through. I hope that when she returns to you, she will have a long peaceful satisfying life with you.

    One thought, when I was reading her symptoms - you may want to watch out for vaccine reactions.... some kids do just fine and have no response, and others react strongly (and it's darn near impossible to determine who will reaction in which manner). Just a thought.

    Much love and healing to you....

    madison
     
  3. Halenka

    Halenka New Member

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    Thanks Madison for your reply.

    There are not enough beautiful words to describe my Isabella - she is the centre of my world, so I can only imagine how special your Isabella was to you.

    I am actually aware of vaccine damage and I'm pretty sure that that is what caused her to have these seizures. And I kick myself often because before she was born we had sort of thought about not having her vaccinated. But for some reason we did - Hep B at 3 days old and her 2 month injections. After that we stopped but the damage had already been done. But if this is what she chose to come here to experience then it all happened the way it was meant to.

    My thoughts are with you

    Halenka
     
  4. shield

    shield Registered User

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    Halenka, much prayer for healing and peace of heart to you.

    Your wisdom in dealing with a situation I, as a father, don´t even want to begin to imagine, is truly inspiring. With that as a foundation I hope and believe the plan of things will reveal itself with the shortest possible delayal.

    Our daughter, now 3, also has strawberry birthmarks, two of them, one on each side of the neck. Although I don´t have any specific past life explanation for them, I´m pretty sure they signify something of the sort. Will pass on any information I come by on this.

    All light and strength to you.
     
  5. Halenka

    Halenka New Member

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    Thank you for your uplifting words.

    Your 3 year olds' birthmarks sound very interesting especially being one on each side of the neck - sounds like a gun shot through the neck or a sword or spear.

    Keep me posted

    Halenka
     
  6. shield

    shield Registered User

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    Those are interesting suggestions about the birthmarks. I´m thinking also, there´s a high probability it does point to some bodily trauma. Some kind of piercing wound would be a good guess, only one of the marks is almost all the way down on the shoulder which seems to exclude this possibility.

    I did try to find something specific on this subject on the internet, with no luck. There is some info on birthmarks and past lives in general. The best, I would guess, one informative text on this site(CPL) by Dr.Ian Stevenson.

    ´Bless

    Shield
     
  7. Galadriel

    Galadriel Senior Registered

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    Having one mark lower down than the other wouldn't necessarily eliminate the possibility of being speared, especially if it happened from someone standing above the victim.
     
  8. shield

    shield Registered User

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    Oh, yes, sure. I´m not dismissing it at all. It´s just that it´s hard to see how the two marks would be corresponding to an entry and exit of the same bullet, sword etc. being as they´re not on any kind of a straight line. Then again, the behaviour of bullets and swords is probably not an exact science (in any case one I no nothing about)

    And then, who´s to say it couldn´t possibly have been two bullets, sword cuts etc.



    [This message has been edited by shield (edited 01-27-2003).]
     
  9. sydquint

    sydquint New Member

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    Hello Halenka,

    I can sympathize with your thoughts and feelings. I lost my 8-year-old daughter two and a half years ago to cancer. I have been reading posts on this board for about a year now, but for some reason have been hesitant to post. The reason I frequent this site is that I always believed with my whole heart that my daughter's cancer would be healed and she would be whole again. When that didn't happen, the only comfort I was able to find was in the belief that she would return to me. In addition to someone telling me that should would, I have several of my own reasons to believe it as well. My second daughter was born a little over a year after my first daughter's passing. She is now 16 months old, and I can't help but feel that she has returned. I realize that many of these feeling could just be wishful thinking and all in my mind, which is why I'm looking forward to the day when she starts to speak, wondering if she will ever say anything revealing. She has many, many similarities to her sister, which I suppose to the skeptical mind could just be simply genetics. I suppose only God knows, but it is the only way I can see that maybe she WAS healed and made whole again.
    I hope that you WILL see your Isabella again...
     
  10. Halenka

    Halenka New Member

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    sydquint

    Wow, what you wrote in your post was amazing. When you said you had hoped your daughter would be healed and she wasn't I felt the tears start to well in my eyes because it just brought back for my how badly I wanted Isabella to be healed.

    I truly hope that you find the proof you are looking for. I hope that this comes for me too because right now I'm having a really hard time being without Isabella. I have also had many people tell me that she will come back to me and she will come back in a healthy body. Even though that is of some comfort I still would rather have Isabella with her body healed rather than coming back in another body. How will I know if it's her and will I still pine for Isabella the way I knew her.

    How do you feel?
     
  11. sydquint

    sydquint New Member

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    Halenka,

    It is impossible to explain all of the things that I feel. I do know how much you are hurting without her. And even though I feel 99.99% sure that my second daughter is my first returned (of course there are still doubts), I still miss the child that she was. She would be 11 years old right now, and I often wonder what she would look like, what kind of things she would be interested in, etc. I see mothers shopping with their daughters that age, and I feel so cheated sometimes. But then I look at my second daughter, and feel so incredibly blessed that I have been given a second chance (even if she isn't the same child). And yes, I will always have a certain paranoia about illness in my children now (I have a precious 6-year-old boy too), but it is nothing like the fear I would have always had (and my daughter as well) if she had survived, always wondering if her cancer was going to return. As it was, she had been in remission three different times, and relapsed each time, so that even while she was doing well, deep down I wondered how long it would last, and pray with all my heart that the disease was finally gone.

    If this second daughter is her as well, it brings me such joy that she has been given a second chance in a new healthy body. Of course I still long for the child that she was, and will always, always miss her. It's also confusing because I want to be very careful with my second daughter, not to impose her sister's identity onto her. I think that's my biggest apprehension; I don't ever want her to think that she is just a replacement who is expected to be just like her sister. I have no intention of ever telling her of course, that I feel she is her sister returned. I don't want to mess her up or anything. But my mom and grandma also believe that it is her.

    It's all very hard to put into words. But I know the pain you are going through. When you wrote that Isabella left quietly during the night, I just started bawling. So did my daughter. She was sleeping between myself and her dad. Before that night, we had taken turns sleeping with her each night, and I think she must have been waiting for her dad and I to both be together with her when she passed.

    Even if Isabella does return to you, you will of course always miss the child that she was, and you will always feel the pain for what she went through. Maybe you will see her again in your next child, and be fortunate enough to have her let you know. My prayers are with you...
     
  12. Halenka

    Halenka New Member

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    Sydquint

    How did you feel when your daughter left? - Were you asleep when it happened? If so how was it to find her there next to you?

    I sometimes wish that I had stayed with her that last time I fed her around 2am - maybe I could have helped her or even just been with her (and secretly I wish I could have stopped her leaving even though I know she is better where she is now because she is pain free). How did your husband feel?

    Halenka
     
  13. sydquint

    sydquint New Member

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    I was asleep, and so was my husband. We had a nurse here at our house to take care of her, and my parents were here. The nurse and my mom came in the room, and my mom woke me up and said, "I think this is it." The nurse listened for a heartbeat, and she was gone.

    I couldn't believe it. I guess I was in denial, because all the family had come to see her the previous few days, because her doctor told us it was only a matter of time. He had even told my husband that she wasn't going to make it through the night, and she didn't. I was just in shock, because I truly didn't think it was going to happen. I completely pinned my beliefs on Jesus' teaching that if we pray knowing that our prayer has already been answered, then it is. Which is why I think that she has returned because my prayers really were answered. Maybe not in the way that I wanted, but answered nonetheless.

    But addressing the fact that she was in bed with us, I am happy about that. I think it would have been harder to have found her in her bed, as you did with your daughter. I'm glad that she was with the both of us, and so is her dad.
     
  14. manduh

    manduh ~I love this place~

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    Thats is so sad for the both of you. It has got to be hard. I hope you all get your prays answered!
     
  15. mandala

    mandala Senior Registered

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    Have you heard of the book: "The Little Soul and the Sun", by Neale D. Walsch?

    My heart goes out to you. It must be entirely, heart-wrenchingly devastating to lose a child. I wish you love and strength on your search for answers and peace for your heart.

    Halenka, there are homeopaths, who do vaccination guidance, in case you would consider immunizing your next child. The process of immunisation would be slower, but more gentle on the system.
    Please feel free to pm me for details, if that is what you want.

    ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
     
  16. Halenka

    Halenka New Member

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    Mandala,

    I haven't heard of that book, but I'll have a look for it on Amazon.

    I wont be going down the traditional vaccination path with any future children, after all the stuff I found out about vaccinations and the problems they cause.

    Because of Isabella I have actually started studying homeopathy myself and will be a qualified homeopath in 3 years and hopefully will be able to help other children.

    But every day is a battle with the thoughts in my head about Isabella - where she is, will she come back to me, am I strong enough to even contemplate having another child if there is a possibility of illness again. I just don't know.

    Halenka
     

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