My life as a monk...

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Jadeswan, Jul 3, 2010.

  1. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    My husband guides me through a meditation and tells me to go through a tunnel. To my surprise after exiting the tunnel I continue in the dark. I can't see much but my hands guide me along a man-made wall underground. It seems to be made of large stone blocks. A stairway is somewhere ahead of me in the dark. This life holds several surprises for me. The year is around 1540. I am thirty years old and I am a monk. I am male and am slightly above average height. I have an olive complexion and my brown hair is cut in a tonsure. I wear a long brown robe and sandals. My husband asks my name and I can't remember it but the words Francis or Frank seem to have meaning for me. (My conscious mind intrudes: "A monk named Frank? Give me a break!" Then I realize I could be a Frankish monk or a Franciscan monk.) I continue carefully picking my way in the dark. I am in the wine cellars. Apparently we make wine at this monastery. When I went down to the cellars on an errand I forgot my torch and didn't go back for it. I pride myself on seeing well in the dark. I finally locate the stairs and stumble up them into a kitchen. Other monks are ladling food from pots and there are slabs of bread laid out on wooden tables. I smile at my fellow brothers and continue on my way. I work in the infirmary. I lay my hands on people and it helps them to get better. I also use herbs, bandages and other medicinal accouterments. I study the works of the early church fathers in the monastery library by candlelight. I enjoy my studies and I write about them, the scratching of the quill pen a soothing sound in the dark hours of the night. I speak Latin fluently and enjoy chanting with the other monks. My name is Brother Metus (May-toos.) I have a quirky sense of humor as evidenced by my chosen name. Metus is the Latin name for the Greek god Phobos, the god of fear. Perhaps I am thinking of this Latin proverb: "Ingrata sunt beneficia, quibus comes est metus--
    The benefits (of a thing) are not welcome to those for whom fear is a companion." Could my name be a reminder to myself to eschew fear?

    My life is mainly an intellectual one. I have no close friends and as a monk little contact with whatever family I might have. My emotional needs are met by the roses I tend and by the magnificent stained glass windows in a cathedral. They are so beautiful and the colors are rich and wonderful. I am in a walled city or else the monastery in which I live is walled.

    I have become somewhat controversial among my brothers. They read my writings on religious subjects and disagree with me fiercely. I enjoy gentle debate but I don't like heated arguments. I can, however, hold my own in an argument and I am rather bull-headed once challenged. I feel frustrated that they make such a big deal over small doctrinal disagreements. I can't see why it should become such an issue.

    One day I am walking through the courtyard and someone comes up behind me and bashes the back of my head with a stone or some other heavy, blunt object. With no warning whatsoever I find myself looking down on my body. The skirts of my robe are billowing against the stones and my body looks so frail and pathetic. I feel confused. I am so surprised to be dead. Suddenly I wonder if I am going to purgatory. I feel frightened. Instantly I am moving away from the scene of my death and sailing out over the city and beyond over trees and hills. It is as if I can see my tombstone behind me over a great distance but I discard the thought of it and move on faster and faster and faster. I am pulled in through some sort of twist in the very fabric of the world.

    I am in a beautiful meadow and people are greeting me. My sister, who was so angry at me for becoming a monk, is there. She isn't angry anymore. A young woman approaches. My daughter?! Behind her is a another beautiful woman with a charming smile. She seems so fresh and I cannot get over how alive she looks. I know her. She is my wife who died in childbirth. The young woman is the baby who died with her. After I lost them I had become a monk and closed off my heart to emotion. Now they are with me again. The whole meadow glows with light. I am drawn up into white light and it washes over me, cleansing me like a shower. I laugh as I am pulled into the light. "There is no purgatory after all," I think, "I always wondered about that."
     
  2. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    I cheated just a bit and put my research about the name Metus into the story of my regression. It fit so well there as an example of my funky humor in that life. I had no idea of the significance of the name until after the regression, however. When I tried googling the pronunciation as I heard it in my mind, I soon found that Latin proverb from the first century B.C. and from the correct spelling I found information about the Greek god of fear. I am only speculating about my reasons for choosing the name but they resonate with me very strongly.


    From my research it seems as if I might have been a Franciscan monk since the Frankish monks seem to have belonged to an earlier time period. I don't know much about that period of history so I could be wrong.


    I'm not sure about where I was located but I do have a hint. When I first started the regression I kept thinking of Cyprus which is where my last life before this one was spent. That was also the life I visited in my last regression. I wondered if I was going to revisit that life but instead I went to something totally different. I researched and found that there were monks in Cyprus during the 16th century, although the Turks took over in the latter part of the century. Cypriot wine was also well known at that time. It's so fascinating to read about the history. I knew nothing about all this before and through my old selves I am learning so much. What burdens I feel are being lifted from me as I explore old betrayals! No wonder I have a hard time expressing my beliefs and innermost feelings and being a part of a community. My non-mainstream ideas and candor have often gotten me in trouble in past lives.
     
  3. Nightrain

    Nightrain Senior Registered

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    Fascinating as ever, Jadeswan!


    Well done!
     
  4. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Thank you, Nightrain. I feel as if I just can't get enough of the memories. It's as if they are cool water to drink and I am so thirsty. I might worry about becoming obsessed with the past but after each regression I feel so refreshed and so much more grounded in the present that I know it is a healthy interest. Each time I feel as if I have re-gained a part of myself and been released from old bondage. It's amazing. I can finally live life in color instead of feeling like a shadow.
     
  5. Sunniva

    Sunniva Administrator Emeritus

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    Hiya Jadeswan - thanks for sharing again, it's always fun to read :)


    I'm particularly excited, because I've had memories of being a monk myself, although somewhat earlier - in the 1300's. My name was Nikolas and I know that I travelled around a lot from monastery to monastery. What is curious to me is that I also had memories of being involved with a woman. I didn't really expect it since monks are known for their celibacy, but I had an affair with a young girl while being at a monastery, I think in Poland.


    One of my first memories of this life was a church ceremony where I spotted her among the church goers. I think the damage had already been done at this point and afterwards she found me and begged me for help, she was pregnant. I was a coward though and pretended not know her (out of the corner of my eye one of my fellow monks was watching the scene and being very suspicious of me I didn't want to reveal anything to him), but I felt very bad leaving her in the courtyard, crying desperately. I felt it was the best solution for both of us at that momet. I don't know what happened to her after that, but Nikolas went on to live a long life.
     
  6. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Sunniva, how interesting! I imagine there were lots of experiences such as yours. The desire to lead a life devoted to God---without marriage, as was the rule---and the desire for physical intimacy and romance must have clashed fairly frequently. It's just human nature. I don't remember having a dilemma such as that when I was Brother Metus but I imagine that was because I had known love and had lost it tragically. The monastery was my escape from such painful emotion and I died young enough that it was not revived.


    Do you think in this life you have ever met the young woman from your memories? I wonder a little about my murderer... That seems eerie, you know.
     
  7. hydrolad

    hydrolad Senior Moderator Super Moderator

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    At this late date, I can only remember one PL memory (probably the most tragic one), and because of the timeline involved, it was probably the one before my current one, and as far as being a monk, I don't know, perhaps I was and because I never married in this life, being too busy in my career, I sadly may have missed out on being a Dad, would I have been a good Dad, I don't know for sure, but I kind of think so, because when I was more agile, I was willing to get down on a child's level and listen to them, instead of talking down to them.


    Not changing the subject, but since I was a young teen I was strangely interested in Photography, strange you say, but my interest stretched to the chemistry and such, all the way from mixing chemicals to processing my films and papers to having my own darkroom as a young pre-teen, so was I a Photographer in a PL, I really don't know for sure, but I was so good at it (not bragging) that I even advanced to color!
     
  8. Sunniva

    Sunniva Administrator Emeritus

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    Jadeswan, I completely agree. The conflict between the rules of the church and the human desires was probably very common. In many ways, according to my memories, it seems that monastery life could be compared with life in a modern day prison. There were strong personalities and weaker ones and there were constant conflicts between the two. The hierachy was very strict and newcomers would be treated very roughly until they understood their exact place in this hierachy. And problems with pedophilia within the church is not a modern day problem. There were so many suppressed emotions and desires, so much harrasment and bullying. Or maybe the monasteries I lived in were just particularly bad : angel:)


    Eta: you may find this older thread interesting too: Monk anyone? :)
     
  9. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Hydrolad, I'm sorry your only memory is a tragic one. I hope you can find some good memories to balance it. I believe many of our present life hobbies are connected to a past life in some way. They may not be exactly the same---for example a weaver in one life might be a quilter in the next---but I believe general interests and talents often stay with us.


    Sunniva, it sounds as if your monastery may have been worse than mine. I have some good memories of being there. I probably only lived there somewhere between five to ten years, however, having been married before becoming a monk and only living to my thirties. I also have the feeling I was not the kind of person to mess with and that I defended myself with a quick wit and sarcastic humor. (I wish a little of that defense had carried over with me to this life. :p ) In the end though the monastery turned out to be a very violent place for me so perhaps that indicates there wasn't really room for someone who didn't conform to the norm.


    Thank you for the link to the thread. It's quite interesting.
     
  10. kemetic18

    kemetic18 Senior Registered

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    Jadeswan:


    Thanks for posting. The depth and detail of your memories is amazing. :)
     
  11. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Thank you, Kemetic. I feel that I am remembering so much because I have things left to work through from those lives. Apparently for quite some time I've just pushed on from one thing to the next without stopping to process. Now I'm having to take some time to work through old traumas and internalize the lessons I was supposed to learn then.
     
  12. kemetic18

    kemetic18 Senior Registered

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    This makes perfect sense. :) For me, while I can recall many different lives, one life or another usually seems to be at the forefront in my meditations and I take it as there is something I need to work through or learn from it.
     
  13. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Yes, right now I am especially focusing on my last life before this one. I'm not sure what the lesson is yet but I feel I need to resolve some things from that life. I suspect my life as a monk came to the forefront partly because I have been focusing so much on when I lived in Cyprus in my last life. Through meditating on that I discovered I may have lived in Cyprus at least two times before that. I believe my life as a monk was one of those.


    Also, I learned one more thing about my murder. As I was just drifting off to sleep that night after writing it up I wondered who my murderer was and a name popped into my head totally unexpectedly. He is a relative by marriage in this life. I have always felt uncomfortable around him even though he has been unusually kind to me and gone out of his way to do favors for my family. I've never felt he had ulterior motives or was insincere in any way and I always wondered why I felt the way I did. Now I understand that I felt wary about him because of what happened so long ago. I believe his subconscious has tried to make some reparation for what happened. I focused on him in my mind and said, "I release you from any obligation from that life. May you let go of all guilt and move forward with peace in this life." It was an awesome feeling.
     
  14. usetawuz

    usetawuz Senior Registered

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    Jadeswan, that is amazing. What a wonderful benefit you were able to confer on him and yourself due to your ability to understand your past lives.
     
  15. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    To me experiences like that refute the idea that remembering past lives is harmful or wrong in some way. I don't know if my forgiveness will have any affect on his life but I know it has given me a feeling of release and profound content. Just think---that happened over 450 years ago and we've both apparently been carrying it all this time. In light of that there's no way I could say past lives don't matter.
     
  16. kmatjhwy

    kmatjhwy Senior Member Staff Member

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    Now very interesting thread and memories Jadeswan. I myself had a Past Life as a monk in the Franciscan Order for have some connections it seems with St. Francis of Assisi and the early days of the order. But I have no memories of this life. Just the knowledge it seems that there was this past life and somehow it seems as if somehow this past life as a monk, that I still carry on some of these vows so to speak inwardly it seems still. Thanks again for posting and soooo interesting. Wishing You the Best!
     
  17. Jadeswan

    Jadeswan New Member

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    Hello, brother! :) That's an interesting thought about carrying some of those vows forward. May I ask what vows you feel you carried forward?


    I wonder if there was something in the vows of an infirmary monk to help anyone in need and to accept nothing in return. Whenever I hear someone mention a physical problem and I know any herbs that might help, I feel an almost unstoppable urge to speak even at the risk of sounding like a dork. If I don't speak I get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. I also have people ask me about my herbal remedies and I enjoy sharing them. I have a powerful feeling that I'm not "allowed" to charge even for supplies, even if I wanted to do so.
     
  18. Truthseeker

    Truthseeker Former Moderator

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    Good for you. :thumbsup: I think this is much more powerful than revenge. To seek vengence only continues the cycle of negative energy between the two of you. It is better to release the negative and allow the positive energy to heal.
     
  19. kmatjhwy

    kmatjhwy Senior Member Staff Member

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    Now Jadeswan, you asked on what vows it seems I brought forward into this life? Good Question! But it seems as if all the 3 main vows of the Franciscan Order did I bring with me into this life. And how much has this seemingly been by choice bigtime in my life with not by being forced to do so. But again completely in how I have chosen to live my present life it seems in this way and absolutely love it. Now had to go look it up but the 3 main vows of the Franciscan Order are Proverty, Chastity, and Obediance. Now even though in this life am not a Catholic and refuse to be a Catholic just personally, do I find it interesting in that the characteristics of these 3 vows seemingly operate in this my present life also today.


    Now personally about myself in this present life, have all my adult life lived just a simple life with how much of the time just being a Wilderness Wanderer. And in this life do live just more or less just a simple life with being here in town in the winter months, working part time, for in the summer wandering in the wilds just mostly by my lonesome. And am going back into the wilds next Monday. How much do I indeed live a life in proverty by choice for my wilderness wanderings it seems. And much of this life has been a very simple life material wise with only a minimum of belongings for my wilderness wanderings. And in this present life refuse also to own a home or property, do not have a car, etc. Also at present do more or less where I live more just mainly walk or bicycle most everywhere I go it seems and love it this way. At present just rent a room in a house of a friend with like a minimum of stuff which is fine with me. Also because of my wilderness wanderings, by my own choosing have lived a life of chastity with refusing ever to be in a relationship or get married in any way. And this has also been for that I could more concentrate and walk the life on the spiritual side and having a life of contemplation. Now personally can see not only this past life as a Franciscan Monk operating in my life today. But how much in operates in conjunction with the way I feel after having lived how many lives as a Native American also. Do hope that this answers your question. Personally I would love to know more of this former life as a Franciscan Monk. Life is Great! Wishing You the Best!
     
  20. Nightrain

    Nightrain Senior Registered

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    Hi Kmatjhwy!


    St. Francis started the one order of monks, who actively tried to give themselves as examples of what the, then corrupt, Church should have been. And it's readily understandable that you would hold onto your vows, while distancing yourself from the Church. This seems to be a validation of sorts, because it is in keeping with the original sentiments of the Franciscians.
     

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