My regression - 17th Century Netherlands

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Klarry, Oct 13, 2004.

  1. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Nearly three years ago to the day, I went to have my first (and only so far) regression. I was skeptical...not of reincarnation but in my ability to be hypnotised and successfully regressed. My mind never stops doing overtime and I thought it would be impossible. Indeed, he did have trouble getting me 'under' and I'm still not sure I was, but the following life was described and I still don't know whether or not I conjured it from my imagination under the pressure of 'coming up with the goods'. The only thing that makes me think it was real was the emotion. I cried through most of it!

    I saw myself as a waif-like young girl - maybe 14-16yrs old in a large cobbled square with a stone water fountain/trough in the middle. Around the edges of the square were tall buildings. I described my shoes as being 'teardrop' shaped and I had layered petticoats which came to between my knee and ankle. I worked in the house of a fat wealthy merchant along with a large jolly lady (the cook) who I looked upon as a mother figure (although she wasn't) and a younger boy who annoyed the hell out of me like a little brother but who I also loved as a brother (he wasn't really though).

    I remembered serving wine and food to the merchant and his raucous friends in an upstairs room. The merchant made sexual innuendos and humiliated me in front of his friends who all thought it was hilarious and joined in. It was at this point in the regression that I started crying as I described him as a 'bully'.

    Another memory was that I was in a long dark chamber, like a tunnel. I was nervous but continued down it. I couldn't see a thing. Suddenly, an arm was put across my path and I saw that it was the merchant. It then became apparent that the merchant was actually in love with me. The humiliation was all just a show, a cover up for his friends. Much to my own suprise, he was very tender and really cared for me. I can't say I felt the same for him but I was young and frightened and didn't feel I could say no to my master.

    In another memory, I remembered being at the fountain being pushed around by other women who knew what was going on. They regarded me as a tart and a slut even though I was nothing of the sort. I was just a young girl stuck in a difficult situation. In the end, they pushed me backwards into the fountain and walked off.

    The regression became a little difficult from here on in as I didn't seem willing to provide details of the relationship. I felt ashamed. I remembered being dressed in a long white nightdress, waiting in the bedroom (perhaps on our wedding night (?). I think I said we were married although I doubt he would have married a servant) and then being in bed next to him as he slept and feeling slight revulsion at this hugely fat sweaty man beside me.

    We jumped forward to my death. I was lying on a bed giving birth, surrounded by the women who had pushed me into the fountain. The merchant was away on business. It was a difficult birth as the baby was very big and I was very slight. I seem to remember viewing the scene from the side of the bed sometimes so maybe out of body(?). The baby was finally delivered by the women - it was a boy. Everyone knew how thrilled the merchant would be and the women took him out of the room. I never held him. They ALL left the room. I lay there feeling like a ragdoll, used up and thrown away. No-one came back to help me, they left me to die. Tears were streaming down my face at this point and I told the regressionist "Look....even the candles are burning down". I didn't want to live anymore anyway. I had a brief tussle with leaving my son but I knew that he would be so well-cared for and I just couldn't stay. The women would tell the merchant I had died in childbirth and not that they let me die because it 'solved the problem'.

    There was more, but I've already written too much! When I left the regression and considered what I could learn from this, I thought it was about my current inability to say no and my desire to please people. But, then I realised that in this life, I would always play down any sexual or flirtatious behaviour around women. I would ALWAYS take great pains to ensure that any woman I met saw me as an innocent, non-sexual being. I didn't mind what men thought but was paranoid about what women thought of me. Now I know why! I was left to die by women who had formed the utterly wrong opinion of me. I still don't know whether or not this was a real past life or my imagination but thought I'd share it with you anyway. :)
     
  2. mertzie

    mertzie Senior Registered

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    I LOVE your story. Thanks so much for sharing it. It resounds with authenticity to me. This was a real life. No detail is improbable, and your insights into it are valuable to you - and perhaps the "reason" your soul took you to that particular lifetime.

    The one regression I had was similar in the detail and emotion. The emotion is extremely telling, if you ask me.

    I'm glad you have this persona form the past to love and care for now - because she needs it. :)
     
  3. Kelly

    Kelly Administrator Emeritus

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    Hi Klarry

    Thank you so much for sharing, I thought your story was filled with such emotion and it touched my heart. Like Mertzie, I think the emotions speak volumes to the life’s authenticity. I look forward to reading more ;)
     
  4. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Thankyou Mertzie and Kelly - what you both said was lovely. :) I've been feeling very alone with my past lives lately (family and friends tend to humour me or roll their eyes with a "here she goes again" attitude) I can't tell you how nice it is to have people who understand and take it all seriously.

    I do feel desperately sorry for the girl I remember. I'm holding back the tears as I type! She seemed so weak and passive and although in this life, I'm still horrendously bad at saying 'no' to anyone and a total softie, I feel very strongly against bullying. I'm only a 5ft 3 pacifist but would stand up to ANYONE who tried to bully me or anyone else around. I'm always for the under-dog! I do also have a very strong will against 'being used' in this life - the very thought infuriates me. The other thing that makes me think these memories might be real is that when I recall them, they're always from the exact same view point and they never change or mutate in any way.

    I went to see the regressionist because I felt like there was a huge emotional block in my subconscious that was preventing me from having relationships. Less than a month after the regression, I began my first relationship in 14yrs which looks like it's 'the one'. I can't help but wonder whether one influenced the other.

    I also remembered a small memory after dying and being in the spirit world but I can't be 100% certain of that because the regressionist was pushing quite hard at this point.

    Thanks again for listening to me and understanding - I know I sound over-emotional but it means SO much to have that support. :)
     
  5. bishopk

    bishopk Senior Registered

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    Hi Klarry - I just read this now and like Mertzie and Kelly, I was deeply touched. There's so much specific detail in your 1st post it doesn't seem like it could have been the working of an over-imaginative mind. You wouldn't have cried so much for no good reason.

    And I find it significant that you sensed there were emotional blockages about relationships that led you to getting a regression, and that after it you began your 1st relationship in a long time. I'd guess there is a connection there.

    I was wondering if you'd ever felt you'd met that fat merchant or the cruel women in this life?

    Thank you for sharing your experience...many of us here feel lonely with no person in our lives who "gets" what we're trying to say about PL's and other spiritual matters, so feel free to continue to share here.

    Aimee
     
  6. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Again I must say Aimee, thankyou for your kind words and support. :)

    As for whether I've met the merchant or the cruel women in this life, I'm not too sure. After my death, the regressionist told me to go to the place in between lives to understand what I'd learnt from that particular life. He told me to go forward to a time when I met the merchant in spirit too and to see if I recognised him. I said I did and that it was my brother. This spirit smiled kindly at me and said jokingly "you didn't pass that test very well did you?". And I knew I hadn't but it just didn't seem to matter anymore. I was loved and I would get another chance.

    To be honest, in retrospect I view that spirit not as the merchant, but purely as the spirit who met me after my death. I really don't feel on a consciously instinctive level that the merchant was my brother. But, then again why would I say it? As I said in my earlier posting, this part of the regression felt very pressured. I could practically feel the regressionist looking at his watch and so I don't 100% trust this part of it.

    I've met some horrid women in my time but none that I would class as the women at the fountain. Something tells me that I don't need to meet them again, but frustratingly, that's all my mind is giving me right now, it's not telling me why!!

    I do wonder about the baby though. How did his life turn out? Do I know him in this life? I knew that these women (whoever they were) would cluck around my son like he was a little prince and the merchant would adore him but I wonder how he turned out? I am at a stage in my life where starting a family is becoming rather a real thing and I can't help but wonder whether any further memories will surface from that life if and when I become pregnant and subsequently give birth.

    When I get home tonight, I'll check what I wrote about the regression immediately after it happened and see if I've missed anything.
     
  7. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Just to be precise, I've dug out what I wrote down immediately after the regression and here are some added details that I'd forgotten.

    They were 'terraced' houses along the sides of the square, all brown and beige coloured but not brick, they were timber framework structures and the merchant's house was a chocolate brown colour.

    The merchant was wearing a green velvet outfit with lace collars and sleeves. He had dark hair with a big 'turned-up' Salvador Dali-eque moustache.

    When I found myself standing there in a white nightdress, it was on the instruction from the regressionist that I moved to a traumatic point in the future. So obviously, this wasn't a happy time.

    Re: the long dark corridor. I'd stopped on my way to run an errand from the kitchen and KNEW that the merchant was lurking in the dark. I had to decide to carry on with my errand or go back to the kitchen. Obviously, I decided to continue with the errand.

    It seems clear from my notes that I might have lived but I made the decision to die. Although I was distressed and angry about being left to die in the darkening room, I said "I just want to go to sleep". The regressionist asked me what happened on the point of death and I struggled with this because I've spent my life studying NDE's and the like. I was concerned that I knew all too well what 'should happen'. Nevertheless, I saw myself from above and he asked me how I felt. I said I felt sad for me because I looked so used (just used and thrown away). I said my whole life had been trapped in that house. and that I felt like a bubble and was rising up.

    And that's it in it's entirety. I say it was 17th century Netherlands partly because of what and where I FELT it was, but also in the fact that the merchant's dress reminded me of paintings like the Laughing Cavalier by Franz Hals and the whole setting was reminiscent of a Vermeer painting. This worries me too....what if I subconsciously constructed the whole thing using my knowledge of Dutch art and therefore knowledge of interiors and fashion? I suppose I have to trust in the emotion that came through with the regression and be grateful for the fact I learned a few valuable lessons :)
     
  8. bishopk

    bishopk Senior Registered

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    Hi again Klarry! Interesting about your identification of the spirit as your brother - but, if deep down inside you don't intuitively feel it WAS him, then you might as well stick to that. If you're meant to find out who the merchant is now, you will. And if you don't meet those cruel women this time around, that's probably all well and good - unless they go out of their way to be super-nice now in order to make up for their earlier behavior! :)

    It would be interesting to speculate how that boy turned out in that life and if you'll meet his soul again. You may already have for all you know. People can and do take on radically different relationships in subsequent lifetimes. But I can see why you'd like to be reunited with him in the same way. I guess time will tell when and if you become a mom!

    I saw your added notes from the regression. You said you might have made things up due to your knowledge of Dutch art. I can see why you'd say that, however, art doesn't usually mean one would have an emotional crying spell. Or - perhaps you've been interested in Dutch art because of once having lived there?

    I guess the main thing is that you learned valuable emotional-based lessons from your regression. They might have been lessons you never would have learned without the regression.

    Aimee
     
  9. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Hi Aimee!

    Thanks again for your reply, I just had to say that regarding the Dutch art, I really hadn't thought of it that way round! I suppose you can't see the wood for the trees sometimes! I do absolutely love Vermeer and his beautiful interior scenes, not only for his style of painting but for his subjects. My favourite was always this one http://www.mystudios.com/vermeer/9/vermeer-milkmaid.html

    - the milkmaid. Maybe you're right, maybe I liked them because they were familiar scenes. I wonder if there are any paintings of the houses similar to the ones I saw. It could help me identify the town.

    Thanks for the insight! That's certainly a point to jot in my journal!

    Klare :)
     
  10. Lights

    Lights Lights

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    Awwww. Klarry...that is sad...it seems like those hurts are still there...I know mine are from last life myself...maybe lives I dimly sense but cannot accesss just yet...I would love to see a message board done for past life trauma...I have run into people who know they have PL trauma but cannot access it...maybe for the best until they can be regressed.
     
  11. mertzie

    mertzie Senior Registered

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    Klarry - Did you read Girl With a Pearl Earring or see the movie? Both are tremendously evocative of the period. I love Vermeer, too. (I don't think Colin Firth is a good or convincing Vermeer, but that's me. ;) )

    If you have read the book or seen the movie, you would know that the painting you showed us is of "Tanekke," the household servant to the Vermeers - at least according to the author, Tracy Chevalier. :)
     
  12. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Hi Mertzie,

    Thanks for your post. No, I haven't seen that film but I'm thinking that it might be quite interesting to watch to see if it jogs any memories in terms of the general setting and time-period.

    Thankyou for putting me onto that Mertzie - I'll certainly hunt it down!
     
  13. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    HI Klarry,

    I was just curious if you have any updates or if you have had another regression since this one?
     
  14. Athlynne

    Athlynne Senior Registered

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    Klarry, what an amazing story. It must have been incredible to see all that detail and feel it ring true for you! I hope you'll tell us more if you remember something or have another regression.

    Thank you for sharing this with us.
     
  15. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Hi Deborah and Athlynne, I haven't had any further regressions for this life but strangely enough, it's been in my thoughts a lot lately. A lady on my hypnotherapy course the other week was asking me about regressions and I was telling her about this particular life.....well, I've never fought so hard to keep from crying!

    When I started explaining about the birth and being left to die, I struggled terribly to control my emotions. It made me realise that this life is obviously still very raw and very close to the surface. My breathing started to become restricted as I fought to remain calm and I ended up desperately trying to explain to this lady that the young girl wasn't a tart, she was just in an impossible situation. I realised that I'm STILL trying to put the record straight for her,....that I still have unresolved issues that I was so hideously misinterpreted and never got to set things right. Friends laugh at me these days for the 'quirk' I have of over-explaining myself. I always explain what I'm doing/saying, why I'm doing/saying it and pre-empt how someone would interpret my actions by saying "I don't want you to think that I.......". Kind of obvious why really.

    I think about that life quite a lot when I'm feeling timid and frightened of situations and I can feel myself reverting to that powerless young girl. I'm so determined never to be that powerless and misunderstood girl again that it usually snaps me back into having strength and bravery.

    The only other insight into this life I've had is the emergence of another life in Japan that I suspect runs along the same themes. I think I may have repeated a pattern a few times and I need to sort that out so that I don't do it again. We're due to study regression in a couple of months on my course so I'll look forward to having my colleagues practice on me as much as they want!! I'll let you know if I uncover anything more.

    Thanks again for being interested :)
     
  16. Amy

    Amy Senior Registered

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    I can't wait for your updates. ;)
     
  17. Persuasion

    Persuasion This time

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    The more we find out about our past llives the more our current actions and lives make sense doesn't it.
    amazing.
     
  18. Deborah

    Deborah Executive Director Staff Member

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    HI Klarry,

    I noticed you were on line yesterday and wondered if you had any updates you felt like sharing?
     
  19. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Hi Deborah,

    Thanks for asking - sorry I haven't posted much lately but I never seemed to catch up with myself after the wedding. The only update I had came out of the LBL session I had in July. I haven't actually listened to the recording of the session since (for the same reasons I haven't posted about it yet) but I know I became very upset during the session about this particular past life.

    When I pluck up the courage to listen to the session again, I can report in more specific detail but apparently what I said and how I reacted emotionally about the death made the lady who guided my session cry! From the point of view of my spiritual core, I remember saying that this past life was specifically at the front of my mind at this point in my life because I'll soon be having a baby in this life. It was important for me to come to terms with the fact that I don't have to die in childbirth again.

    Again, I ran through the reasons why I constantly over-explain myself in this life and said through many tears that it was something I HAD to do because if I didn't then I might die. It seems clear that that life still has a massive impact on my current character and personality because I evidently don't seem to understand or accept that misinterpretation of my words or actions won't lead to my death again. Maybe it's something I'll learn. I certainly hope so because I don't want to carry it with me to another life and I certainly don't want to transfer those characteristics onto any children I may go on to have.

    Over Christmas, if I listen to the LBL session again and hear anything relating to this life that I'd forgotten then I'll report back.

    Merry Christmas to you Deborah by way and to everyone else here at the forum xxx
     
  20. Eevee

    Eevee Administrator Emeritus Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Thanks for the update, Klarry, and I hope you soon find healing from the things discovered during the LBL regression. Oh, and congratulations for your wedding ! :) :)


    Love,


    Eevee
     
  21. Natalie

    Natalie New Member

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    I read the posts,all the best for your future
    may I ask when you go back to you life in Netherlands does everyone speak in dutch and you understand or?
     
  22. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Hi Natalie,

    When I think back to my regression, I can honestly say that there was no language involved as such. I received visual impressions and overwhelming emotions but no real sound. The 'conversations' and interactions I recalled were not recalled by hearing words and understanding language, it was a case of seeing the images and completely comprehending the gist and content of what was being said without remembering or struggling to understand specifics. It's so hard to explain, I hope that makes sense!

    I found your question really interesting as I'd never really noticed the lack of sound before. Thanks for your good wishes and happy new year!
     
  23. Natalie

    Natalie New Member

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    Yes I do know what you mean
     
  24. Ailish

    Ailish Administrator Emerita

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    Hiya Klarry,


    It's been a long time since your regression experience (beautiful clarity of memory, by the way!). We miss your fantastic posts!


    I know a lot has changed in your life since your regression, and I'm curious if you've had any other memories from this life emerge after becoming a new mom?


    Aili :D
     
  25. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Hi Ailish,


    Thanks for asking about this particular life again. Sorry, I've been hopeless for posting since Rufus came along! Motherhood seems to be taking every single second I have.


    It's strange you should ask actually because only a couple of weeks ago did this life surface again. I caught the last half of 'Girl With a Pearl Earring' on TV and although I felt strangely uncomfortable about watching it (I've never seen it or read the book before) I was curious and so left it on. As I'd missed the first half of the film, I went onto IMDB to read the synopsis so I could bring myself up to speed. One particular part of the synopsis hit me like a train - it said that the young girl had to "protect herself from the cruel gossip of the world of a 17th century servant". I know it's a fictional story but I just found it shocking to have specified that cruel gossip was such a part of 17th century servant life when that's exactly what brought me down in my life as a servant in that very same century.


    I watched the film and was equally shocked to find the style of the house and the general feel of the environment very familiar. There is a scene where Griet is serving food/wine in the dining room to Vermeer and his patron and his patron made humiliating sexual remarks and treated her like meat. I almost leapt out of my seat because I had experienced such situations many times in my 17th century life. Even the element of being sexually harrassed and 'way-laid' whilst going about the household duties was portrayed. I was really quite shocked. If the film hadn't been made 2yrs AFTER my regression I would have suspected I may have accidentally seen part of it and forgotten that I had. I know that the book was first published 2yrs before my regression but I've never read it and embarrassingly, I didn't even know about the book till someone mentioned it in this thread.


    Anyway, I called my mum the next day and was telling her all about the strangely similar aspects that parts of the film to my past life and I felt myself fighting the tears again. When I told her about the 'cruel gossip of the 17th century servant world', I burst into floods of tears upon saying that I knew it all too well because they pushed me in a fountain. My mum sounded confused on the other end of the phone as I reassured her I was OK and in an exasperated tone she said "I just don't understand why it still upsets you so much". I couldn't really answer her because I didn't know myself. I just felt embarrassed for having broken down about it AGAIN!


    Even typing this, I'm getting a headache from holding back tears and emotion. For some reason, the memories of this life are still so so raw.


    Being a mother doesn't seem to have evoked any memories although I do find Rufus hard to let go of. The longest I've been apart from him since he was born has been the length of a hair-cut at the hairdressers ONCE! Ru is currently having severe separation anxiety and my husband commented the other day that it's not just him, it's me as well. He's right, I don't feel that anybody can take care of him or protect him the way I can and my anxiety levels shoot through the roof at the very thought of him being out and about without me. Maybe that's a throw-back to having had my son cruelly taken away from me in that life and now in this life, I'm holding on to my son for dear life.


    So, sorry to have waffled but that's the only progress I've had on this life of late.


    Thanks again for asking Ailish and I do hope you're happy and well :)


    xx
     
  26. Ailish

    Ailish Administrator Emerita

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    Hiya Klarry!


    Thanks for sharing your update! I'm glad to hear your lil lovey is thriving and doing well (and keeping his mummy on her toes!) :D I can understand your reluctance to leave your little guy! Ru's lucky to have a kind and loving mom - and you'll both eventually get over the separation anxiety :) Bet he's a real handsome little cutie!


    It's interesting (and great) that you found a validation for servant treatment during that time period. It's funny how a movie can be a trigger...although for me, I'm usually calling out "Historical FOUL!" :D Sometimes though - the feeling of "I know that; I've done that!" stays with you for days.

    I don't think there's anything to be embarrassed about! Some things are just way more difficult to process than others and take a little more time. But I know - that you know that ;) Let yourself have a good cry about it, don't hold anything back - acknowledge it and let it go. Then run and kiss your sweet boy :)


    Aili
     
  27. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    I don't get much time to come onto the forum anymore (and I do miss it!) but I just felt I needed to add a snippet from a dream I had last night that I KNOW was past life fragment. It's been preying on my mind all day.


    It's only short - I was hanging out laundry in either a walled garden, or rather it felt more like a courtyard. I know it was the 17th century and I know it was the Netherlands. I was a servant girl and I was working for a rich family. I particularly remember hanging up a long, woollen, sleeveless undergarment that still looked filthy and had a stain on it. As I hung out the laundry, there was an older woman near to me helping who was glaring at me suspiciously whilst I tried not to look in her direction. The reason was because one of the family had a crush on me and was about to pass by. She was scrutinising me to see my reaction and to see if I encouraged any amorous behaviour. I came out of the dream with a clear name in my head - "Groot".


    I feel sure that this girl is the same girl from my regression. This is the first time I've had any spontaneous additional memory from that life and I feel quite excited about it!


    Must get to bed now!! xx
     
  28. Petya

    Petya New Member

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    Dear Klarry,


    I read your regression and I had tears in my eyes....such a moving story...You deserve to be treated with love and respect in this life for sure!hug3.gif
     
  29. Klarry

    Klarry Senior Registered

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    Thankyou so much Petya for your very kind words. It is very sweet of you to say so. Thankfully, I have been much luckier in this life with the hand I have been dealt. Thankyou for taking the time to read about my past life.
     

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