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My Last Memory

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apop4523 said:
Since the posts have died down on my thread I just want to say thank you guys for talking to me and giving me advice and making me feel more in my skin. If anyone wants to talk about this more with me, just message or email me. I also have iChat/AIM: antipop4523 and Skype: hellozepp11. It's been great. I'll be posting more on other threads and maybe start another. Thanks so much! headbang.gif
Dear apop,


If you really are the reincarnate of Kurt Cobain - let's say he was the hero of the X generation, those born between '65 to '79 - that would explain also the extremely short period between the death and rebirth.


It is just that God doesn't like suicides.


My experience on near-death experience research is that while this life is like a grand big LARP where we are the player characters, this earthly existence is also not unlike a school for the souls. We all have a mission here and a lesson to learn - and perhaps karma to burn. And we all have a mandatory lifetime here. We have no permission to cut it short, be it suicide, murder, manslaughter, execution or whatever intentional method of killing.


Suicide is like a jailbreak or flunking the class. If the world is a school, then suicide is truancy. The consequence of the suicide is a mandatory reincarnation. We have to resolve all the problems and issues we attempted to escape by killing ourselves. While reincarnation in this world is usually a voluntary thing, in the case of suicide it isn't. If you kill yourself, God will put you back in the flesh immediately. Sorry, not that well earned vacation back at the Heavenly Home.


If you really are Kurt Cobain reincarnate, there are still a lot of issues to resolve. Kurt was an extremely sensitive person behind his mask, and besides psychological issues, he had also issues with heroin addiction, stomach condition and mental issues - he suffered from bipolar disorder.


In the end those were too much for Kurt. He escaped the pain by shooting himself. Those issues were left unresolved.


If you are his reincarnate, you need to resolve those (or similar issues) in this life. On the other hand, if you are as sensitive and gifted and manage to avoid all those pitfalls which he encountered, you are likely to do well.


If suicide is like truancy, the following immediate reincarnation is like doubling the grade. We have to start where we were left and resolve the issues.


Most of all, if you are Kurt Cobain reincarnate, you need to learn to love yourself. As what and who you are, as God's child, as nothing more and nothing less. You are here for a purpose. Kurt never learned that lesson, and in the end his demons took him over. Behind all that fame, pomp and glamour, he was a very uneasy and unhappy man. I sincerely hope your current turn in the carousel will be easier this time.
 
Azure,


Thank you so much. I'm taking that to heart. I want to improve everything abut my life, but I feel some of these things are just inevitable. I am very sensitive and artistic and so on and I carry so many of his traits.
 
apop4523 said:
Azure,
Thank you so much. I'm taking that to heart. I want to improve everything abut my life, but I feel some of these things are just inevitable. I am very sensitive and artistic and so on and I carry so many of his traits.
Let's say you are here for a reason.


Being sensitive is a double-edged sword. On the other hand it makes one vulnerable, easy to hurt and prone to ridicule, abuse and bullying - and it also enables one to express oneself far better than anything else, to be creative and to carry one's talents to heights unimaginable for ordinary muggles.


The material existence is an extremely hard school - God has trillions of children, but only the very bravest of us ever dare to enter here - and even the most disturbed and troubled of us here are grand in The Yonder. If you are Kurt's reincarnate, Kurt came here originally as a volunteer, and God assigned him lessons to learn - and also issues to overcome. They were too much for him. If that is the case, your task is tough; you are here to continue on where Kurt stalled.


But as you know Kurt's troubles, you are able to avoid them. We learn from our mistakes. It appears your hardest lesson here will be to learn to love yourself; the troubles are there just for that.


Most likely you will never become rich or famous in this life like Kurt did. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Fame and fortune have a nasty flip side, and makes one prone to abuse (drug, alcohol, cult) or be abused (emotional, economical, social). Becoming just another anonymous studio musician is just as good thing: a regular salary, a possibility to push your talent just as high as any gig musician would, a possibility to be just geeky and technologically adept as you wish and yet you are in the same schene.


When you say "some of these things feel just inevitable" you are partly right. It doesn't mean that troubles were predestinated by some angry and spiteful God, but that you need now to face similar (if not) the same challenges which Kurt did and failed. You will face a lot of challenges. Some of them you will clear with flying colours. Some will leave your flag ragged. But nothing is predestinated; wise choices at the first place may get you avoid from getting in those troubles at all - and our destiny is not carved on the stone either. We have free will and the ability to choose differently.


Your family is different from Kurt's and the childhood matters a lot. Kurt grew up in a troubled home (he was a divorce child) and he got a different beginning for the life as you have had. Your experiences in this life in the age of fifteeen are different from his in the same age. They relate to your ability to cope with the issues in your life.


My advice is: Listen to your heart. Only it can tell you which choices are right and what is wrong. Common sense is an useful tool as well. And whenever your heart and your reason are in unison, your choice is very likely to be the right one.
 
Hi Azure,


Nice to read your thoughts and comment on this forum. It seems like you know what you are saying. I have some few remarks I would like to discuss here. Apop if I'm too much interrupting your thread let me know...

Azure said:
If you kill yourself, God will put you back in the flesh immediately.
I'm not so sure this is 'the' rule. I agree if you left things undone you will somehow once be confronted with it until things are cleared whatever they might be. But in some cases I think a soul isn't able to immediately return. Because there's a lot of healing to do first. The afterlife provides healing at first. I'm also not sure the afterlife regards suicides as absolutely not done. It should not be, I agree with that, but I don't really believe you are punished in either way, be it sent back or put on the punishment bank in the after life :laugh:.


Now about Kurt, in one of my posts I wrote that it would somehow be logical that he'd be in a happier environment this time around, holding in mind we always return in a better state. But when I gave this a deeper thought it somehow conflicts with the state of mind Kurt was in when he died. He would've needed more time to heal because the mental state is a slow healer. His self-hatred might take a lot of time to heal or even to leave no more trace in a next life. Maybe it even can take hundreds of years. Apop when I look at you on the picture I don't see no traces of for example self-hatred. Some of his symptoms may have been triggered by his physical condition, but the whole of psycho-physical symptoms Kurt showed were imo symptoms of a vicious circle. Could it be that Kurt shows no more of these symptoms in his new incarnation and so quick? Or did you have some of these symptoms Apop as a kid because you look happy enough to me on the recent picture?


About Kurt having a bipolar disorder, I doubt that seriously. I have known some people who suffered from it, I think I can tell from looking at people and it even might show on pictures. About a public person as Kurt was, it surely could be determined but I don't see no traces of that.


Another remark. I agree there could be coming a lot on the way of Kurt's soul were he now on earth. He left some people in serious grief. I'm not so sure if that has left a karmic bond with his daughter, but with his parents and wife it must have. But to me karma is an individual thing in that you deal with the result of your actions individually, whether this result occurs predestinated or not.
 
Overseas said:
Hi Azure,
Nice to read your thoughts and comment on this forum. It seems like you know what you are saying.
Thank you! I feel the near-death experiences and past-life memories suppelement each other. I found here via NDERF.

I'm not so sure this is 'the' rule. I agree if you left things undone you will somehow once be confronted with it until things are cleared whatever they might be. But in some cases I think a soul isn't able to immediately return. Because there's a lot of healing to do first. The afterlife provides healing at first.
It must be always remembered that time is a property of material existence. It may sound weird, but there is no time in Heaven. Time is merely the gradient of entropy; it exists only here on Earth. This sounds weird, but it is confirmed by quantum physics. It is also a phenomenon which is encountered time and time again on NDEs.


Since there is no time in Heaven, the healing and recovery can happen "immediately" on Earthly time, while the soul itself may experience it taking centuries. But the karmic ties need to be tied here on Earth - before the time window will close. That is why the "immediate" (earthly time) reincarnation.

I'm also not sure the afterlife regards suicides as absolutely not done. It should not be, I agree with that, but I don't really believe you are punished in either way, be it sent back or put on the punishment bank in the after life :laugh:.
It is NOT a punishment. It is merely another mandatory chance. Having to renew a class, an examination, a test is not a punishment as itself; it is rather a new chance.

Now about Kurt, in one of my posts I wrote that it would somehow be logical that he'd be in a happier environment this time around, holding in mind we always return in a better state. But when I gave this a deeper thought it somehow conflicts with the state of mind Kurt was in when he died. He would've needed more time to heal because the mental state is a slow healer. His self-hatred might take a lot of time to heal or even to leave no more trace in a next life. Maybe it even can take hundreds of years.
Remember there is no time in Heaven. One second earthly life may be hundreds of years in Heaven.


I'm not sure if Kurt Cobain "hated" himself. I would rather say, given to the circumstances, that he was too critical and unforgiving for himself and he pushed that over the edge.

Apop when I look at you on the picture I don't see no traces of for example self-hatred. Some of his symptoms may have been triggered by his physical condition, but the whole of psycho-physical symptoms Kurt showed were imo symptoms of a vicious circle. Could it be that Kurt shows no more of these symptoms in his new incarnation and so quick? Or did you have some of these symptoms Apop as a kid because you look happy enough to me on the recent picture?
One big difference is that Kurt Cobain was a divorce child. Apop has grown in a healthy family. That makes a vast difference. Loving yourself and loving your neighbour are two mirror images. It is utterly difficult to love yourself if you don't experience love - and vice versa.


People who have grown in loving, good, whole families seldom turn on crime, alcohol, drugs or promiscuity. The childhood matters incredibly lot. If the growing child can feel himself or herself loved, the prognosis for the teenage and adulthood is usually very good.


So in that respect I think Apop is doing really well :)
 
This is to both of you since you guys don't know me too well. Well... at all. I just don't know how you guys assumed all that stuff.. I def did not have an easy childhood. My dad has always been an extremely difficult person (which is why my parents are getting divorced now). He used to beat me when I was little and my parents were separated for 2 and a half years. Now it is eight year later and they are just getting divorced.


My mom has always been supportive though... well mostly. I am extremely artistic and stand for what I think is right. I don't like people getting beat up because of what I went through... I don't like hearing about rape and violence it just ****** me off. I've used music as an outlet for that. But also music is just a thing I do. Not all the songs are about stuff like that. But then again I guess they do sound a bit angsty.


A little while ago I decided that for my senior year of high school (i'll be 18) I'll be moving to Las Vegas with one of my friends. I'll be getting a job and finishing up high school. After that summer, I'll be moving to Olympia, WA. I really want to retrace some things. I want to visit these places to better understand everything.


Here's some lyrics if you're interested:


Bowie rocked you


And Rocky Shocked you


Manson ****** you


And Madonna sucked you


Rolling stoned you


And GaGa phoned you


Puréed and ready for sale


They're inside you like puss in a wound


Shake and Bake now


And suck out the vitamins too


Chorus:


Young ones will rattle chains


They will cry for their freedom


In a rockless, popless nowhere wasteland


A rockless, popless nowhere wasteland


Hey! 8x


Cobain raped you


And Elvis shaped you


Lennon psyched you


And Floyd biked you


Brown freed you


And Joplin needed you


Puréed and ready for sale


They're inside you like puss in a wound


Shake and Bake now


And suck out the vitamins too


Chorus


Zeppelin shook you


And Kinks hooked you


Creedence charmed you


Carpenters never harmed you


Sonic knew you


And Velvet wooed you


Puréed and ready for sale


They're inside you like puss in a wound


Shake and Bake now


And suck out the vitamins too


Papas soothed you


And REPO improved you


Rose failed you


And Reznor nailed you


Rapid shot you


And Love bought you


Puréed and ready for sale


They're inside you like puss in a wound


Shake and Bake now


And suck out the vitamins too


Chorus
 
apop4523 said:
This is to both of you since you guys don't know me too well. Well... at all. I just don't know how you guys assumed all that stuff.. I def did not have an easy childhood. My dad has always been an extremely difficult person (which is why my parents are getting divorced now). He used to beat me when I was little and my parents were separated for 2 and a half years. Now it is eight year later and they are just getting divorced.
Apop, if you inspect Kurt Cobain's bio, you might find familiarities here. It is that very few things happen at chance, and everything is for purpose.

My mom has always been supportive though... well mostly. I am extremely artistic and stand for what I think is right. I don't like people getting beat up because of what I went through... I don't like hearing about rape and violence it just ****** me off. I've used music as an outlet for that. But also music is just a thing I do. Not all the songs are about stuff like that. But then again I guess they do sound a bit angsty.
That sounds very Cobain-ish. He was just like that.


I am of the same vintage as Cobain - I was born about at the same time - and I remember the shock his death caused; it was like a whole generation had been crushed.

A little while ago I decided that for my senior year of high school (i'll be 18) I'll be moving to Las Vegas with one of my friends. I'll be getting a job and finishing up high school. After that summer, I'll be moving to Olympia, WA. I really want to retrace some things. I want to visit these places to better understand everything.
I think that is a good idea. Familiar places, things and milieu may help you on your task.

Here's some lyrics if you're interested:
*smile* I am an amateur musician myself, and I have a strange hobby - writing song parodies. I can distinguish between good lyrics and bad lyrics, and yours are good.


Song lyrics are essentially poetry. What distinguishes between good and bad lyrics, is the pacing. The rule of thumb is that one note corresponds to one syllable. Rhyming is a good idea, as rhymes make song easy listening and the lyrics are easier remembered by the audience if they are rhyming than if they aren't. It might be a good idea to study poetry, and get to know various metrics, verse forms and feet.


Do you mind if I attempt to make up a guitar riff and some impromptu melody to play your lyrics as a song?
 
Hmmmm I guess it would be ok if you did... Just don't like go around playing it :p but yeah you can play around with it.
 
Azure said:
Time is merely the gradient of entropy
How can I picture this?

Azure said:
Since there is no time in Heaven, the healing and recovery can happen "immediately" on Earthly time, while the soul itself may experience it taking centuries. But the karmic ties need to be tied here on Earth - before the time window will close. That is why the "immediate" (earthly time) reincarnation.
But from an earth point of view there could be intervals in a souls presence on earth, no? Or have our souls always been here immediately reincarnating?

Azure said:
Remember there is no time in Heaven. One second earthly life may be hundreds of years in Heaven.
This doesn't make sense to me Azure. If there's no time in heaven how can it be hundreds of years then?
 
apop4523 said:
This is to both of you since you guys don't know me too well. Well... at all. I just don't know how you guys assumed all that stuff.. I def did not have an easy childhood.
Apop, it was just my impression but with a question to you if I was right. So thanks for reacting. I'm glad you direct what lives inside you into the beautiful force music is. It suits you well.


Olympia :laugh: nice song. I can only appreciate you moving there. I visited the place where I lived in nineteenth century to better comprehend that life and this life because we carry the past with us. In either way I think it's a good path to go on!


Thanks for the lyrics, this is good stuff! You have your own style, which I find the most important. "Carpenters never harmed you" :laugh: :thumbsup:
 
Overseas said:
How can I picture this?
Entropy is a thermodynamical property of a set of particles. It describes the state of greater disorder. Time is the gradient of entropy - time goes in the direction where the entropy grows. In the present the entropy is greater than in the past, and in the future it will be greater than now.

But from an earth point of view there could be intervals in a souls presence on earth, no? Or have our souls always been here immediately reincarnating?
The former. There may well be intervals in souls reincarnating. They may be years, decades or even centuries. Only in exceptional cases the reincarnation is immediate - suicide may be one such.

This doesn't make sense to me Azure. If there's no time in heaven how can it be hundreds of years then?
It doesn't make sense in the frame of reference we experience here on Earth. It makes perfect sense in The Yonder - and it is confirmed both by the near-death experiences - and by thermodynamics. Time is merely a property of matter; likewise, in a system where there is no matter, there is no entropy and no time either. The time in such system is known as kairos - one single point where past, present and future are all simultaneously there. In such state the time can be stretched like bubble gum or spring. The NDErs say "they couldn't tell if they had been dead for seconds, months or centuries" while the time passed on Earth had been merely minutes before death and resuscitation.
 
Azure said:
The former. There may well be intervals in souls reincarnating. They may be years, decades or even centuries. Only in exceptional cases the reincarnation is immediate - suicide may be one such.
I'm quite familiar with NDEs as well, though I've not read anything that suggests suicide victims are required or made to reincarnate immediately after death. If the reports I've read are anything to go by, people who do this usually have to view the consequence of their actions from the earthbound realm; and of course without bodies, they are powerless to intervene, but are starkly aware of how their actions have affected others around them.


In terms of immediate reincarnation in general, it can happen, but like you I think it may be the exception rather than the rule, but it all depends on the individual soul.
 
I once went through a period of being very depressed and during this period consulted a psychiatrist.


The Doctor asked me if I was suicidal.


I replied that I had thought about it and decided against it- I felt I had three options. Work through the issues and resolve them, live with the issues and feel miserable for life (not an issue) or suicide and possibly have to come back and deal with the issues again.


I noticed a questioning look on her face when I made this remark and when I questioned her with a 'what's wrong' she replied 'you have no idea how many times I have heard that over the last thirty years or so'.


Clearly a lot of others have similar beliefs and these beliefs effect people's decision not to commit suicide.
 
Glad to see there is an abundance of posts now ^_^ . Anywho. Wow, that's really cool to think about Azure. It might not be completely relevant to reincarnation, but you guys should watch I <3 Huckabees. It's one of my fave movies and it's an eye opener. You'll see why I brought it up.
 
apop, if you wish to develop your songwriting, lyrics and poetry skills, one good way to do it is writing song parodies - i.e. "B"-lyrics for some known song.


I used to be a fairly frequent writer at Amiright (http://www.amiright.com/) and there are many really talented writers. Writing the parody lyrics are a nice way to find out what pacing and rhyming works and what not, and how to play with words. Some of the parodies there are nasty, some spiky, some funny, but you are able to learn of all of them.


And, it was

- not Bowie :)
 
Ok Azure, now it makes more sense to me, thx!


I like the concept of Kairos. So there our souls have no sense of time... And then the Kairos place can be an immediate healer if you take the case of Kurt?! Any thoughts on why he should be coming back immediately?
 
Overseas said:
Ok Azure, now it makes more sense to me, thx!
I like the concept of Kairos. So there our souls have no sense of time... And then the Kairos place can be an immediate healer if you take the case of Kurt?!
Yes. Please see http://www.near-death.com/experiences/research13.html - that is an excellent description. And the healing may happen instantly on Earthly frame of reference, but may feel like centuries in kairos.


Unfortunately - this theme occurs also on many hellish NDEs. Some 16% of all NDEs are negative - and those who have experienced Hell describe it as "feeling like it had lasted forever" - they had no idea how long they had been there. Yet it isn't quite that way! A hellish NDE terminates immediately when the soul begins to think of God and to make contact to God.

Any thoughts on why he should be coming back immediately?
What comes my mind is that mission was not yet fulfilled, and that he had karma to settle - or he had a task to influence certain other people.
 
apop4523 said:
Glad to see there is an abundance of posts now ^_^ . Anywho. Wow, that's really cool to think about Azure. It might not be completely relevant to reincarnation, but you guys should watch I <3 Huckabees. It's one of my fave movies and it's an eye opener. You'll see why I brought it up.
I attempted to find some kind of a riff and melody for your lyrics. You had done good work - the pacing was almost perfect for so-called "heavy metal gallop".


I took the liberty to reshape the refrain to get it pacing for the heavy metal gallop:


Young generation will rattle their chains


They will cry for their freedom in pains



In a rockless, popless nowhere wasteland



A rockless, popless nowhere wasteland



Keep up the good work!
 
Just to add my 2 cents to the tangent about Apop's lyrics (which I also thought were pretty sharp, surprisingly so if I'm being honest).


I also make music; I do solo stuff now for the most part, but used to play in a band, for which I wrote half the songs and lyrics (the guitarist wrote the other half). My solo work is mostly instrumental, but I occasionally write lyrics for some of those songs.


I am personally of the opinion that lyrics do not need to rhyme (unless you're an emcee). In fact, some of the worst songs I've heard are those where the writer felt duty bound to try and rhyme the words, and it just sounded forced. When I write lyrics for my songs, I tend to focus on a theme and basically do a "stream of consciousness" brain-dump, where I just write down anything and everything that comes to mind on a given topic, including personal associations and oblique metaphors. I then take what's there and pare it down to fit the structure of the music I already have.


To my mind, there's no "right" or "wrong" way when it comes to the creative process, but by all means, expose yourself to different ways of doing things in order to broaden your skills.


Best of luck to you, Apop.
 
Let me just remind you guys that this forum is for posting your past life memories ;)


This thread has run it's course and will be locked.


Please continue this songwriting discussion in the community section :thumbsup:
 
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