Spar
New Member
I am new to this forum, and I joined I think mainly to get this off my chest. For over 20 years I have believed in reincarnation, been fascinated by it. I've been very spiritual. I've also been searching for answers, for a religion to call my own... I've been to church after church, religion after religion searching for acceptance of my personal beliefs within that group and never really finding it. I have also talked to many mediums and psychics along the way wanting to believe but discovered that every single one of them was pretty much full of it. It was at this point, just a few months ago that I started to believe maybe there really is nothing. I wanted to let go of religion and my magical thinking because really it was just getting in the way of my happiness.
At this point, when I was letting all of that go I had this eye-opening dream. Something about that frame of mind must have triggered it:
I dreamed that I was in a darkened church, asleep on a pew. There were many other people in there as well. I was a woman, I'm not sure how old I was. Soldiers rushed in, they woke everyone rudely and forced us outside. I looked at the clothes I was wearing, a long black coat, a long black skirt, a patterned scarf on my head, which I instantly thought was Turkish, but now I think was maybe Polish. The most interesting thing I had with me was a metal purse, it was somewhat large and snapped in front and I loved that thing. I also felt that I looked quite smart. I remember thinking, that I was wearing the outfit that suited me best.
Then we were outside, in a city, not a great part of town. They loaded us onto the back of well, it was either a truck or a cart. I'm not sure. I was the last person on, and my legs were dangling off the back as we drove away. I was afraid but not terrified or anything, just a little unsure of what the soldiers plans for us were. We drove into the countryside. For a while, I'm not sure how long because the dream just skipped ahead. There was a baby. I don't understand this part. It was laying in the cart with only it's head sticking out from under the blanket. I don't know who's baby it was.
We arrived at this place that was out in the middle of nowhere and, it was like a tent city. There a lot of small tents lining the road in, and a really large tent where we stopped. They were white. As soon as I got there I was very uncomfortable and thought to myself that I was going to escape. The soldiers didn't seem to be paying any attention to me and when I had the chance I was just going to slip away. This was to be the first stop, I knew that and then we were going somewhere else. They told us we could freshen up here.
Then that scene ended and I saw what I presume was later on. I don't know if I was at the same place but I was still captured by these soldiers. Now I was wearing some sort of smock, it seemed off white or gray, and a same colored scarf or hat thing on my head. I was outside of the prison area with three other women, all dressed similarly. We were loading up something (laundry?) on the back of this truck, the soldiers weren't around. We decided to escape. I don't know if this had been a plan or just something I decided I was going to do right then, because we were outside of this prison and the guard was not around but I said to the others that this was the chance and we should go now. One woman ran straight back to the area we'd been taking laundry or whatever from to load onto the truck, one said she had forgotten something and also ran back. It was just me and this one other woman, we told the other girl we'd wait for her and then we didn't. I ran down the road. There was a mountain, and beautiful farms there. One horrible thing nagged at me, “I deserted my daughter, oh my God, my daughter”. I ran through a cornfield- The dream ended.
When I woke up from this dream I was on an obsessive quest to try to figure it all out. It wasn't long before I started to think that this was probably Poland, and I was probably in the holocaust. And this was never something that had ever entered my mind before, that I had had a past life in the holocaust. So much of what I've found feels... like me. When I look at old photos of the concentration camps, or Poland at that time it feels I dunno... almost like there was no break between that life and this one, it feels almost like it just happened.
I have had some serious doubts about talking about this dream because I know there are still survivors of the holocaust alive today and it feels disrespectful to say something as loopy as “I was there in a past life”.
All of my life I have had the same nightmare where I'm trying to escape to another country or something and I wake up in a cold sweat saying, “I killed my daughter”. All of my life I've known this “daughter” as “my daughter”, as if she had been my daughter in this life. For the longest time I thought that I must have done something really terrible in a past life, but now I'm starting to understand it a little better. I think this is connected to the dream. Maybe the baby in the truck is my daughter or represents a daughter? Something I couldn't bear to see so I blocked it? I really don't know.
I'd like to talk to anyone who has had a past life during the holocaust.
Anyhow, thanks for listening.
Spar
At this point, when I was letting all of that go I had this eye-opening dream. Something about that frame of mind must have triggered it:
I dreamed that I was in a darkened church, asleep on a pew. There were many other people in there as well. I was a woman, I'm not sure how old I was. Soldiers rushed in, they woke everyone rudely and forced us outside. I looked at the clothes I was wearing, a long black coat, a long black skirt, a patterned scarf on my head, which I instantly thought was Turkish, but now I think was maybe Polish. The most interesting thing I had with me was a metal purse, it was somewhat large and snapped in front and I loved that thing. I also felt that I looked quite smart. I remember thinking, that I was wearing the outfit that suited me best.
Then we were outside, in a city, not a great part of town. They loaded us onto the back of well, it was either a truck or a cart. I'm not sure. I was the last person on, and my legs were dangling off the back as we drove away. I was afraid but not terrified or anything, just a little unsure of what the soldiers plans for us were. We drove into the countryside. For a while, I'm not sure how long because the dream just skipped ahead. There was a baby. I don't understand this part. It was laying in the cart with only it's head sticking out from under the blanket. I don't know who's baby it was.
We arrived at this place that was out in the middle of nowhere and, it was like a tent city. There a lot of small tents lining the road in, and a really large tent where we stopped. They were white. As soon as I got there I was very uncomfortable and thought to myself that I was going to escape. The soldiers didn't seem to be paying any attention to me and when I had the chance I was just going to slip away. This was to be the first stop, I knew that and then we were going somewhere else. They told us we could freshen up here.
Then that scene ended and I saw what I presume was later on. I don't know if I was at the same place but I was still captured by these soldiers. Now I was wearing some sort of smock, it seemed off white or gray, and a same colored scarf or hat thing on my head. I was outside of the prison area with three other women, all dressed similarly. We were loading up something (laundry?) on the back of this truck, the soldiers weren't around. We decided to escape. I don't know if this had been a plan or just something I decided I was going to do right then, because we were outside of this prison and the guard was not around but I said to the others that this was the chance and we should go now. One woman ran straight back to the area we'd been taking laundry or whatever from to load onto the truck, one said she had forgotten something and also ran back. It was just me and this one other woman, we told the other girl we'd wait for her and then we didn't. I ran down the road. There was a mountain, and beautiful farms there. One horrible thing nagged at me, “I deserted my daughter, oh my God, my daughter”. I ran through a cornfield- The dream ended.
When I woke up from this dream I was on an obsessive quest to try to figure it all out. It wasn't long before I started to think that this was probably Poland, and I was probably in the holocaust. And this was never something that had ever entered my mind before, that I had had a past life in the holocaust. So much of what I've found feels... like me. When I look at old photos of the concentration camps, or Poland at that time it feels I dunno... almost like there was no break between that life and this one, it feels almost like it just happened.
I have had some serious doubts about talking about this dream because I know there are still survivors of the holocaust alive today and it feels disrespectful to say something as loopy as “I was there in a past life”.
All of my life I have had the same nightmare where I'm trying to escape to another country or something and I wake up in a cold sweat saying, “I killed my daughter”. All of my life I've known this “daughter” as “my daughter”, as if she had been my daughter in this life. For the longest time I thought that I must have done something really terrible in a past life, but now I'm starting to understand it a little better. I think this is connected to the dream. Maybe the baby in the truck is my daughter or represents a daughter? Something I couldn't bear to see so I blocked it? I really don't know.
I'd like to talk to anyone who has had a past life during the holocaust.
Anyhow, thanks for listening.
Spar