Tourmaline
Active Member
Hi, I'm Tourmaline. I've been reading this forum for a while, but have avoided posting until now for fear it would open up a can of worms that I try to keep at least half-way shut. But I want to share with others with similar possible PLs, so here goes.
From infancy/toddlerhood, I had a severe phobia of dogs and trains despite never having a bad experience with either. When I was two I had never seen a train, but my parents tell me I screamed if one came on TV and when they bought me a toy train. (Soon hidden safely away, after many tears.) It would be interesting to know what my thoughts were, but of course I don't remember.
Neighbors knew to lock up their dogs when I came over to play. They thought a dog had bitten me, but it wasn't true. I was just scared of them. I was scared of a lot of things. I had terrible separation anxiety. My earliest memories are stomachaches, panic attacks, thinking I couldn't breathe. (18 months-3yrs.)
I had what I believe to be a past-life flashback when I was nine. I lost touch with reality and entered a "deportation scene." Train station, people in 1940s clothes, fear, chaos. I did not per say know about the Holocaust, so I did not connect it with that or the train phobia.
When i was 11 we studied the Holocaust in school. I was so terrified of learning about "it" that I had nightmares every night and went to school trembling. My feeling was a lot of fear but also shame, like I couldn't bear for my classmates to find out the "shameful" things that had happened to me/us.
From that time on I was obsessed. 24/7, awake, asleep, that time in history seemed more real than my current life. If it makes sense to any of you I kind of --age 30--feel like I am seeing my current life through the gray lens of the past.
For a few years I have entertained the idea of this being a past life. I have an open mind but also some skepticism. Not too interested in doing a regression or in-depth research right now. I am getting in contact, on my own, with my past life holocaust self (I'm sure you know what I mean) and just trying to tell her she is safe and good and loved. I believe she/I internalized the anti-semitic messages of the time. I am hoping this will help with severe depression, anxiety, numbness.
I don't know if I had a holocaust PL or am just an anxious person. I am wondering how Holocaust past lives have affected people's current lives, and what it feels like to heal that.
From infancy/toddlerhood, I had a severe phobia of dogs and trains despite never having a bad experience with either. When I was two I had never seen a train, but my parents tell me I screamed if one came on TV and when they bought me a toy train. (Soon hidden safely away, after many tears.) It would be interesting to know what my thoughts were, but of course I don't remember.
Neighbors knew to lock up their dogs when I came over to play. They thought a dog had bitten me, but it wasn't true. I was just scared of them. I was scared of a lot of things. I had terrible separation anxiety. My earliest memories are stomachaches, panic attacks, thinking I couldn't breathe. (18 months-3yrs.)
I had what I believe to be a past-life flashback when I was nine. I lost touch with reality and entered a "deportation scene." Train station, people in 1940s clothes, fear, chaos. I did not per say know about the Holocaust, so I did not connect it with that or the train phobia.
When i was 11 we studied the Holocaust in school. I was so terrified of learning about "it" that I had nightmares every night and went to school trembling. My feeling was a lot of fear but also shame, like I couldn't bear for my classmates to find out the "shameful" things that had happened to me/us.
From that time on I was obsessed. 24/7, awake, asleep, that time in history seemed more real than my current life. If it makes sense to any of you I kind of --age 30--feel like I am seeing my current life through the gray lens of the past.
For a few years I have entertained the idea of this being a past life. I have an open mind but also some skepticism. Not too interested in doing a regression or in-depth research right now. I am getting in contact, on my own, with my past life holocaust self (I'm sure you know what I mean) and just trying to tell her she is safe and good and loved. I believe she/I internalized the anti-semitic messages of the time. I am hoping this will help with severe depression, anxiety, numbness.
I don't know if I had a holocaust PL or am just an anxious person. I am wondering how Holocaust past lives have affected people's current lives, and what it feels like to heal that.
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