In some of my earliest memories, I remember looking through my eyes at the world in front of me in disbelief that I was here. Growing up, the memory of that feeling of actually seeing the world through my (someone else's) eyes, and the feeling of amazement that I was actually here never faded. I am trying to recall some other things that are just beneath the surface of my memories. I feel like there are memories that my mother told me never happened. "Must have been a dream" hiding in my mind somewhere. I have always believed in reincarnation. Never thought I could or would remember them, though. Then I was triggered by a song that I have heard a hundred times before. I always found it catchy and I have liked it just fine... But there was something different this time. I thought I was just moved by the chords and harmonies. So for the first time, I searched it out and listened to it in a meditative state, and I felt like someone punched me in the gut. Was I associating it subconsciously to a childhood event? Something from my infancy? I asked family members and nobody ever played the record or song around me but I feel like it is significant to me. I cried for something or someone I lost, I thought I was going crazy. Then it happened again with a few more songs. So for the last week I feel dazed like I am living in a fog. I began reading up on past life memories once I found all of the songs were from the 60's, and as I thought about it another memory surfaced from when I was a child. I heard a song from that time while I was sick in the ER, and it struck something within me. I just couldn't explain it as a kid. If I allow myself to become engulfed by the trigger songs I find myself crying to go back. I miss someone, some time so much. I also get the feeling I was taken. I feel a great sense of mourning and loss. And it suddenly explains my extreme fear of strangers around my kids. I have had some crazy conspiracy theories of how they might get my kids. I have fears of them being taken from my house at night. To the point I would have bags of cans on the handlebar doorknobs so I'd hear someone trying to come inside at night. I remember looking at them as infants (especially my first) with such anxiety that I felt too much love and just knew I wouldn't get to keep them. Illogical, and I knew it, so I held as much crazy inside as I could, lol. Am I making this up? Am I just overtired and sleep deprived? The longing and anxiety I am feeling is real, but am I creating a fantasy to explain it? I was born in 1976. And all I want to do is go back to the 60's and find what I am missing. Maybe I have been reading to much and creating all of this. My main concern is, how will I know if any of this is real, and how do I know my childhood (from this life) traumas aren't stirring all of this up inside of me? I would love any thoughts or advice you can offer. I just started reading about past lives online a couple of days ago and just ordered a book to try and learn more.