My story. The holocaust.

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Spar, Jun 23, 2013.

  1. Spar

    Spar New Member

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    I am new to this forum, and I joined I think mainly to get this off my chest. For over 20 years I have believed in reincarnation, been fascinated by it. I've been very spiritual. I've also been searching for answers, for a religion to call my own... I've been to church after church, religion after religion searching for acceptance of my personal beliefs within that group and never really finding it. I have also talked to many mediums and psychics along the way wanting to believe but discovered that every single one of them was pretty much full of it. It was at this point, just a few months ago that I started to believe maybe there really is nothing. I wanted to let go of religion and my magical thinking because really it was just getting in the way of my happiness.

    At this point, when I was letting all of that go I had this eye-opening dream. Something about that frame of mind must have triggered it:

    I dreamed that I was in a darkened church, asleep on a pew. There were many other people in there as well. I was a woman, I'm not sure how old I was. Soldiers rushed in, they woke everyone rudely and forced us outside. I looked at the clothes I was wearing, a long black coat, a long black skirt, a patterned scarf on my head, which I instantly thought was Turkish, but now I think was maybe Polish. The most interesting thing I had with me was a metal purse, it was somewhat large and snapped in front and I loved that thing. I also felt that I looked quite smart. I remember thinking, that I was wearing the outfit that suited me best.

    Then we were outside, in a city, not a great part of town. They loaded us onto the back of well, it was either a truck or a cart. I'm not sure. I was the last person on, and my legs were dangling off the back as we drove away. I was afraid but not terrified or anything, just a little unsure of what the soldiers plans for us were. We drove into the countryside. For a while, I'm not sure how long because the dream just skipped ahead. There was a baby. I don't understand this part. It was laying in the cart with only it's head sticking out from under the blanket. I don't know who's baby it was.

    We arrived at this place that was out in the middle of nowhere and, it was like a tent city. There a lot of small tents lining the road in, and a really large tent where we stopped. They were white. As soon as I got there I was very uncomfortable and thought to myself that I was going to escape. The soldiers didn't seem to be paying any attention to me and when I had the chance I was just going to slip away. This was to be the first stop, I knew that and then we were going somewhere else. They told us we could freshen up here.

    Then that scene ended and I saw what I presume was later on. I don't know if I was at the same place but I was still captured by these soldiers. Now I was wearing some sort of smock, it seemed off white or gray, and a same colored scarf or hat thing on my head. I was outside of the prison area with three other women, all dressed similarly. We were loading up something (laundry?) on the back of this truck, the soldiers weren't around. We decided to escape. I don't know if this had been a plan or just something I decided I was going to do right then, because we were outside of this prison and the guard was not around but I said to the others that this was the chance and we should go now. One woman ran straight back to the area we'd been taking laundry or whatever from to load onto the truck, one said she had forgotten something and also ran back. It was just me and this one other woman, we told the other girl we'd wait for her and then we didn't. I ran down the road. There was a mountain, and beautiful farms there. One horrible thing nagged at me, “I deserted my daughter, oh my God, my daughter”. I ran through a cornfield- The dream ended.




    When I woke up from this dream I was on an obsessive quest to try to figure it all out. It wasn't long before I started to think that this was probably Poland, and I was probably in the holocaust. And this was never something that had ever entered my mind before, that I had had a past life in the holocaust. So much of what I've found feels... like me. When I look at old photos of the concentration camps, or Poland at that time it feels I dunno... almost like there was no break between that life and this one, it feels almost like it just happened.

    I have had some serious doubts about talking about this dream because I know there are still survivors of the holocaust alive today and it feels disrespectful to say something as loopy as “I was there in a past life”.

    All of my life I have had the same nightmare where I'm trying to escape to another country or something and I wake up in a cold sweat saying, “I killed my daughter”. All of my life I've known this “daughter” as “my daughter”, as if she had been my daughter in this life. For the longest time I thought that I must have done something really terrible in a past life, but now I'm starting to understand it a little better. I think this is connected to the dream. Maybe the baby in the truck is my daughter or represents a daughter? Something I couldn't bear to see so I blocked it? I really don't know.



    I'd like to talk to anyone who has had a past life during the holocaust.


    Anyhow, thanks for listening.
    Spar
     
  2. emikua

    emikua New Member

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    I was not in an actual concentration camp, and I'm grateful for that, somehow I managed to escape the ghetto I think I was in, before any soldiers took me and my brother away.


    I find it interesting that you said..."All of my life I have had the same nightmare". To me, that's a clear past life memory. I've had the same dreams all throughout my life, of me just hiding everywhere I could from Nazis.


    I wonder if you feel this certain sadness and even some tinge of hopelessness when you think about these memories? Because I feel that, most of the time when thinking of that one life I had.
     
  3. Spar

    Spar New Member

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    I had a nightmare about trying to run away and something about killing my daughter. This lengthy dream is new. I had it in April of this year.


    There was another dream that followed not long after, it was also a holocaust dream but in the dream I woke up and said, "no, not this" and ended it before much happened. It was something so upsetting, something I knew in my soul, I recognized it but I wasn't going to let my current self see it.


    I have been very out of sorts ever since I had the dream. I have felt sad and mean and I feel as though I'm in a state of shock.
     
  4. Red Night

    Red Night Senior Registered

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    I believe there are several people with past lives in the Holocaust on this forum, including myself. Thanks for sharing your story, and if you'd ever like to talk feel free to drop me a massage!


    I personally try not to think about this particular lifetime anymore; it makes me physically sick do so and it's only been getting worse. If I see something in the news about it or hear somebody mention it or anything my stomach completely drops. It makes it more real when I hear about it outside of my own thoughts or research. It's always a nasty surprise. Something I'd rather avoid, but I know that never does anybody any good...


    Do you believe that the girl you left when you ran away was your daughter? Do you recognize her from this life at all? Maybe you'll be able to meet her again in this life and heal the pain of the past.
     
  5. Owl

    Owl Super-alt Mitglied

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    Hello there! welcome to the forum

    What are you personal beliefs? How do you feel about the jewish religion? How do you feel about Islam? How do you feel about the Orthodox church?


    Just asking to see if there´s any affinity that would narrow down what you were in that life.

    Nazi soldiers? or another type of soldiers? Do you remember how their uniform looked like? Do you remember what language they were speaking?

    There were many intermediate camps that were just a stopping point. There is quite some information on them in Polish wikipedia articles. No idea of the name or what letter it started with, right?

    Is there anything that makes you think it was Poland or you just feel it was Poland? Nothing wrong if you just feel it was Poland, I just wanted to know if the information comes "from the mind" or "from the soul".

    How do you feel about the Holocaust? How do you feel about WWII? How do you feel about the Jewish religion? How do you feel about Gypsies? Any affinity to an European country? Do you like the 40´s?


    To me yes, it sounds clearly like a past life issue and a past life dream. Don´t worry much about how it sounds to say you had a past life in the holocaust. It´s true (I think) that 80 year old holocaust survivors might not see it with good eyes, but they don´t check reincarnation forums if they don´t believe in reincarnation. On the other hand, there is a pretty big amount of reincarnated holocaust victims online, and quite of them are on this forum if you need support and such.


    I was just asking questions to see if we could find validations of your memories.
     
  6. starrynight

    starrynight Senior Registered

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    Hi Spar, I was killed in a concentration camp, so welcome from another holocoust soul.


    My dreams played on my mind for a long time until I was able to make sense and come to terms with them. I think that is what is happening to you. They are memories locked away.


    It has taken me quite a while (about 2 years) to work it all out with alot of research & probably more patience but for me has been worth it.


    I used to get crippling migraines, since I've gradually accepted what happened they are so much better.


    It might be worth thinking if something in your life could have triggered the memories now. I do think as much reasearch as you can do. Things that seem familiar probably are. Hopefully it will trigger other memories to put it all together eventually.
     
  7. soulfreindly

    soulfreindly Senior Registered

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    I too got obsessed with holocaust stories / info after I had a flashback to seeing my dead body in an oven. I have done alot of work around my holocaust lives.. yes three .. and am gradually coming to terms with the lessons.


    I agree that one should not totally immerse onself in the bad memories. It can take time and we need to remain patient > I have found it very helpful to ask for clarity.. going to my inner support to show me what issue I need to be working on.


    I learned to do self regression as I felt I had to spend a fair amount of time in recall .. whether it was the right thing I will never know.. IF you can afford to see someone do so as it can be hard to know exactly how to approach such issues.


    It can be more mundane things we need to process first .. like issues with family / issues around our feelings . It was a big journey for me to put my pieces together and yes well worth it ..


    There is a yahoo support group specific for us that are reincarnated from the holocaust . There has been little activity for many months so I would not recommend it but for maybe doing some research of past posts to see others experiences. It is called Unlockingthedoor.
     
  8. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Hi Spar,


    Welcome to the forum.


    Wow. What a story. It's so crystal clear and detailed this is obviously a past life memory and obviously a disturbing one.

    I know exactly what you mean. When these things come up, they come up from a very deep place and they feel very raw. It's like reliving them over again. No wonder you feel like you're 'in shock'. But don't worry, that feeling will pass before long. In my experience when a powerful memory like this makes itself known there's something going on in my present life that has triggered it. You don't have to share that with us here if you don't want, but it's something to think about.


    It's a very good idea to start keeping a journal about this. Get a special book and write it all down. It helps to get it all clear in your mind and also to write about how it all makes you feel. You will feel better before long when you get it down on paper.


    Many others here have had holocaust experiences, and various other WWII experiences, on different sides of the hostilities. I was 'lucky' enough to be in London during the Blitz, so although my story was not necessarily a fairy tale, it's nothing like what happened to some people.


    I hope you find many people here to share your experience with. It helps to know that you are not alone.
     
  9. Spar

    Spar New Member

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  10. Spar

    Spar New Member

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    I'm pretty certain that a sudden change in philosophy brought up the memories. I'm not sure why, but my guess is that what I have now started to believe is more in tune with what I believed/felt in that lifetime and for some reason it came up. Or, maybe anger about what my current philosophy is now... which is basically Atheism. For the majority of my life I've believed in karma... maybe something about that was too upsetting to my subconscious? I dunno, that sounds sort of crazy but that's all I got.
     
  11. Spar

    Spar New Member

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    Thank you. Thank you all for being so welcoming. I had no idea there were so many people who remembered past lives in the holocaust. I'm still coming to terms with it. It's nothing I ever considered at all as a past life but it does make so much sense to me, looking back on my current life there really have been so many things- likes and dislikes- that point directly back to it.
     
  12. azgrl25

    azgrl25 Senior Registered

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    Hi Spar,


    You're not alone, I can relate and am glad I found this thread. I had a holocaust dream a few years ago that was so vivid, it sometimes still affects me to this day. I doesn't bother me so much now because i've pretty much accepted it, needless to say, I woke up crying!


    Growing up, i've always had a "distaste" for Germany and Poland but I never understood why. I always thought of both places as dark and gloomy. When I was little, like around 4 or 5, every time a plane passed overhead - I was convinced that it would drop a bomb and I would see explosions everywhere.


    This dream and the memories of bombs being dropped validate for me, that I was somehow involved with WW2.


    Be warned...this is disturbing to read. I hope I don't disrespect anyone - i'm just sharing what I experienced with my dream.


    The dream started out as an odd typical dream. I was with some friends and we were on some random floating platform island looking thing in Japan, jumping from platform to platform. As we were leaving, the whole scene completely changed. We heard this commotion going on to the left of us. The commotion was a bunch of screaming, gunfire, and just pure chaos. It was coming from behind old worn-down/rotted looking wooden fence, like the walls of an old fort. There was an empty watchtower that was big enough for one person, and a very narrow staircase leading to the watchtower that didn't look very stable.


    I climbed up to the tower and looked over the wall. There were three very large pits in a triangular formation. At each pit, there were 2-3 men in uniforms with lines of people behind the men. At the left pit in the back, I saw a guard shoot a man then pushed him into the pit. Then I heard another shot ring out, looked to the pit towards the right, one of the guards shot a woman and tossed her into the pit. Right behind her was a little girl. The two guards picked up the girl - one had her upper arms, other had her legs. They threw her into the pit while still alive. I remember seeing her little legs kicking as she's flying in the air. She looked to be around the age of 4-5.


    I then heard sobbing coming from the left. I looked down, and crouched in the corner of the fort was another little girl in a white dress, sobbing. She looked like she may have escaped.


    That's when I woke myself up from the dream.


    If I remember correctly, it was at one of the camps in Poland or Lithuania where they did in fact have three large pits in which they separated the women and children from the men. I haven't been able to find the site where I validated all of this, and I regret not bookmarking it at the time.


    If anyone knows or wants to talk about their experiences, feel free to send me a message. I'd love to hear more and talk about it.


    Thanks for reading :)
     
  13. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    Your post was moving, and detailed azgirl. I'm sure a lot of members have similar memories, and will want to discuss them. As I read, I could see what you saw, and feel what you felt. Do you feel that you were a victim, or had some other role in what happened? It almost sounds, from the platform part of the dream, as if you were an out-of-body observer. Perhaps, that was a protective mechanism that your mind used?
     
  14. azgrl25

    azgrl25 Senior Registered

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    You are correct, it did feel like I viewed the memory as an outside observer as a way of protecting myself from re-living the actual experience. I think I was the little girl that was in the corner. Because I woke up before I could see any more, I didn't see what happened to her. My feelings are that she was discovered and unfortunately, suffered the same fate.


    I've had all sorts of fears growing up that are likely tied to that lifetime. Besides the memories of bombs going off, I was always afraid of being abandoned. I never tried "escaping" by running away from home, and never let my parents out of my sight whenever I was out with them. Standing or driving along any sort of edge of a cliff would send me in a panic as if I was going to fall. I remember flipping out on my ex once when he tried to drive me up the mountain to see the city lights. I was convinced he was going to push me off the cliff and I refused to get out of the car.


    He was a security guard at one of the prisons here and later went into the military. And likely shared that lifetime with him being one of the men that pushed me into the pits.
     
  15. starrynight

    starrynight Senior Registered

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    Thanks for shaing azgirl.


    Very touching. Was terrible what happened in that time. I wonder if a great amount of people are suffering anxieties as a repurcussion. It has certainly explained mine.


    The mind is good at choosing what we can cope with knowing, I imagine the reason you woke.
     
  16. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I'm very glad that you posted about your ex boyfriend having been one of the men who pushed you. Often, people get confused about that - just because we feel a connection doesn't mean it was a good one. Since you are obviously insightful about yourself, and well-informed about PLs, was there a purpose to the two of you meeting again in this life?
     
  17. azgrl25

    azgrl25 Senior Registered

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    Yes-anxiety is a constant battle for me. I had another lifetime in which I also died as a young girl in a house fire. I remember telling my mom on several occasions that I wasn't going to live to be 13 and sometimes would wake her up in the middle of the night to make sure my heart was still beating. I was around 7 or 8 at the time.


    Briar - Thanks for the compliments :) I have always been very intuitive and can sometimes tap into other peoples memories and describe with detail what they saw. My grandmother always said that I was an old soul from the day I was born. It is more of a "knowing" that my ex was the man who pushed me. I never really put the two together until I had that dream. I think we were brought together again so he could make good in this lifetime and work out that karmic balance.
     
  18. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I think something similar happened a few centuries ago with my husband and myself. I fully forgave him for past misdeeds, love him, and married him in this life. It has been a real healing and balancing for both of us. I'm glad you had that opportunity.
     
  19. azgrl25

    azgrl25 Senior Registered

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    I'm also glad to hear you and your husband were able to balance things out in this lifetime. We come into eachother's lives for a reason, to teach and learn from eachother throughout our lifetimes. And to heal from past conflicts and trauma. It sounds like you and your husband may have shared many lifetimes together.


    My ex-husband and I shared a lifetime in which we were both in a bad place (alchohol and drugs), and I was enabling him. In this lifetime, we married again - but he was still having issues with drugs and was staying clean, working the program, etc., but relapsed after we got married. I learned to walk away from it all this time. Unfortunately, he didn't learn and found out that he passed away in 2007 - shortly after our divorce.


    I was talking to a mutual friend of ours, who was his sponsor and has been clean for over 20+ years. He had a son two years ago. He told me that his son was obsessed with trains (so was my ex, who died in a train accident) - I immediately knew that my ex has returned. He chose our friend for a reason, and couldn't choose a better person to help him stay clean in his new lifetime.


    I saw a picture of his child and yup, the two look practically identical. I don't talk to him very often, but would love to know if his son has said anything relating to his last lifetime as my ex.
     
  20. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    I wonder what would happen if his son were to meet you?
     
  21. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    Sometimes, we learn from leaving, not staying and enabling. My mother and grandmother enabled their alcoholic sons, and I chose never to be like that, just as you did, Azgirl. Argonne is right - it would be very interesting to see how the child would react to you.
     
  22. emikua

    emikua New Member

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    Azgrl, that story about your ex-husband made me tear up a little! He chose your friend you will be an incredible guide for him through this new life! I'm so happy for him!
     
  23. azgrl25

    azgrl25 Senior Registered

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    That would be interesting! I rarely talk to my friend these days, it's been years since i've seen him. Last time I talked to him was back in Dec, when I found out my ex passed away. Your question reminded me of something else that happened while we were talking on the phone. While we were talking, his son apparently was wondering who his dad was talking to. When he said my name, his son repeated it in such a way like he recognized it - he didn't ask who I was or anything like most kids would, just simply repeated my name like he was both curious and excited. I can't really explain it. :)


    Emiqua - Thanks! I agree with you on all parts, if anyone could help my ex learn from his mistakes of drug abuse in his new lifetime - it would be our friend. And i'm really glad that he chose wisely this time around and that he'll be getting another chance at a happy and healthy life.
     
  24. kliewer

    kliewer New Member

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    I am sorry that you had to experience such a tragedy. Between two worlds, it seems like there are a lot of people here who have experienced such a loss. Visions of freedom can sometimes remain as illusion.


    Can the healing of your soul's self be done alone? Or would it better be to find solace in the other torn hearts from the world of then? Mayhaps this depends 'soul-ly' on you.
     
  25. Hummingbird

    Hummingbird New Member

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    Hi,


    I have seen different scenes from a life where I seem to be in a german concentration camp around 1941/1942. Apparently I was a jewish woman and had to do slave work there. I remember being in arrest for a week and later someone shot me. This place is now a history site and I went there several times. Each time there were more memories coming up.


    Many strange fears ond other feelings I have in this life do make sense now when placed in context with the last one.
     
  26. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    Welcome to the forum, Hummingbird. Lives that were lived during the Holocaust seem to be powerful factors in remembering past lives. If you want to share details at some point, we are here to listen!
     
  27. Hummingbird

    Hummingbird New Member

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    Thanks for the welcome, BriarRose.


    When I first visited the place where I was imprisoned in my last life I started to walk in huge steps, moving around wild and in joy. I was thinking: "now I can move freely". At that time I found the whole thing bewildering as I didn't know why I was behaving that way. Later I remembered that one way of punishment used to be to let people stand still for a long time. If you would move just 1 cm they would punish you in even worse ways. I had to stand still very often as they seemed to have targeted me for some reason. Usually there were several other people there who also got punished this way and we were standing there in a group.


    In the afternoons there were bad smells from the crematorium and often there were shots heard when they killed people. It was really frightening.


    Then I had to spend one week in arrest in a special house when you had done something they wanted to punish in a even harder way. I was beaten up there from a female guard and had to sleep on the bare floor. When I visited this arrest house in this life I wondered about my memories that I had to sleep on the floor because all the cells have a metal bed which is locked on the wall which can be turned down. There was information about the cells that this building was modern at the time and all cells had beds. I wondered about the contradiction to my memories but later I found a report from a survivor and she said that she had to sleep on the bare floor the whole time as well. When she arrived they locked the bed to the wall and she couldn't use it. So my memory got confirmed.


    Sometimes I could hear the screams of tortured people when they opened a door.


    I remembered the head of the concentration camp as someone that was a little bit overweight which was rather unusual for that time. Later in an exhibition about the life of the heads of the concentration camp i saw a note from a prisoner who talked about this person as the "fat one". A comment to the note said that this person seems to have been overweight. Reading that note really made my day.
     
  28. argonne1918

    argonne1918 Senior Registered

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    Welcome to the group. You are one of the few people who get to visit the past location and get verification that what you remembered is true. Congratulations. How do you feel after visiting the site? Does it feel like a load has been lifted from your shoulders? How has visiting the site affected your everyday life?
     
  29. BriarRose

    BriarRose Senior Registered

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    I think the validations that you found about your memories are very good. Like Argonne, I am curious about the effect of visiting the camp. Did it make help you resolve issues ?
     
  30. Shield2

    Shield2 New Member

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    Arrowcrossers?


    Hi Spar,


    Thanks for sharing. Your story strikes me as genuine and likely to be a memory of a past life. I have probable memories from the time, only Germany and on the side of the oppressors. So, naturally I´m interested.


    I was wondering, could the soldiers of your dream have possibly have been militia of the Arrowcross, the Hungerian fascists of the time? They seem to have been wearing green uniforms and also there hats looked a bit unusual.
     

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