Similar or opposing lives

Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by Obie, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. Obie

    Obie Senior Registered

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    I feel as if though people fall into a pattern in their lives. Either the abuser or abuser. Same ethnicities. Lives. Of poverty or lives of opulence. Either the discriminator or the discriminated. In your lives have you had patterns where it's the same thing or have you experienced the flip side of the coin. Say you were a poor street child with no parents who is abused by society then now this time around you are born in a wealthy loving family. Or you had several lives as slaves but then in one you are the slave owner.


    For me in most lives I've experienced I am not given much. I was a poor orphan begging borrowing or stealing to survive in 1500's England. That was a miserable life. In this life I might as well have been an orphan because I was born into neglect. In every life I'm not given much and that makes me very bitter at times. However if something good happens that's my own doing. If I make money it's usually me being self made. My energy lady who works with my energy told me I. This life my lesson to learn is that I can't change others or control my environment but I have control over myself. Not having control drives me crazy though.


    I feel like I've fallen into the same patterns and I hope I have control over my next life. I feel like I didn't have too much can control in choosing this terrible life either that it was decide for me. Do you feel like you have been placed in the same patterns? Or do any of you have opposing lives where each life is the polar opposite of the last?
     
  2. Cryscat

    Cryscat Senior Member

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    I have two that were polar opposites. One in the 1st century CE, Male and in the Roman Legions. The other one in the early 3rd century CE, female who was executed for her religious beliefs.
     
  3. Obie

    Obie Senior Registered

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    Care to elaborate? How was it polar opposite Cryscat?
     
  4. Medea_

    Medea_ New Member

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    I have a few lives who seem to be polar opposites. In the first, I was a well off ancient greek male who owned a farm, and had a prosperous life. I had went to war many times,was rather aggressive and could not stand to be 'lowered'. I longed for power and command. I was a bit too extraverted at times and tended to drink a bit to much wine..


    In my next life, I was an ill born girl from Magna Grecia who was abandoned at 10-11 and became a prostitute. I was quite fragile, liked being dominated and used. I then became a wealthier prostitute, a "hetaira' and I entertained richer men. I then started a relationship with some Hellenic soldier who had a bit of power, and became his personal 'entertainer'. I was rather introverted,refined and did not like wine.
     
  5. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    I guess like most problems, awareness of it is the first step on the road to a solution.


    Some people believe strongly that our lives are predetermined. Others think it's all in our own hands, every step of the way. I'm probably somewhere in the middle. Somehow our lives fit into a larger pattern. But it's not always clear to us what that pattern might be. It's a bit like those paintings made of dots. You have to stand back a bit to see it.


    Personally I have gone from one extreme to another sometimes for sure. Sometimes I kind of understand what the connecting theme from one life to the next was. Not always. I have said before, that we often 'get what we wish for' but it doesn't always turn out the way we imagined.


    I don't think anyone wants to be abused. But perhaps, if we start with some kind of guilt for something we've done in the past, we may feel a need to atone, or at least to learn what the consequences of our bad actions are on others?? Maybe we are feeling we don't deserve to be treated well at some level? I don't know. This is in no way meant to blame the victim of any kind of bad behavior by another. Bad behavior is what most of us are trying to grow out of or avoid as much as possible.


    Is this how we learn compassion and slowly evolve as humans? I don't know the answer. But, I'm thinking along these lines sometimes.
     
  6. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Heh heh! I know what you mean. I can be a bit of a 'control freak'. But, as I get older, I have learned that some things I can certainly control, but others are best left to their own devices and navigated as best as you can or avoided if you can't.


    Think of it as being the captain of your ship. You can control that. Your crew, your ship and most importantly yourself. The weather, the wind, the tide - pirates, accidents - those things you can't control. Wasting a lot of energy on it takes your attention away from the things that are in your control.


    Hope that makes some sense!
     
  7. Cryscat

    Cryscat Senior Member

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    Think about it. One, in the Roman legions. Strong, male, part of the system, solider, fighting and killing for the Empire. The other, small, female, outside the system and executed. A victim of the Empire. Opposite of each other. The two lives are like flipping a coin over to the other side. Which, I think, was necessary for soul growth.
     
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  8. Traveler16

    Traveler16 New Member

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    As I become more aware of my previous lives and how they affect me in the present, I see that patterns seem to repeat. I have many memory fragments, but there are three that at this point I have enough info about to believe are past lives.


    The first was as a nobleman in the 1500s in England, mainly Surrey and Sussex. This person is my ancestor, and I found connections to strange memories I had as a teenager while doing genealogical research. I have been aware of this life for a long time, but believed the memories were somehow ancestral. I now believe it was probably a past life. I credit this life with my love of travel, and love/hate relationship with politics. I don't think he/ I was a humble man, although I don't believe from memory or the limited historical info that he was excessively cruel, although he would compromise his principles as needed to stay alive in turbulent times. He had to constantly play politics and appease unstable people in power.I think maybe I needed to learn some things about compassion after that life.


    I too have a long history of abuse in past lives. I believe my mentally abusive father in this life was my far more abusive husband in the past, in the next life I remember, what I think of as "the scary life in China". In that life, which I believe occurred somewhere between the 16th to 19th cent., seems to have affected me deeply and my choices and struggles. I do not know where we lived in China or if we were rich or poor, but I feel the essence of this life was in the interpersonal relationships with my husband and children.I believe I was horribly abused, and basically a slave to my husband. I have often had flashbacks to this life and the deep well of shame and horror that was my daily life. I connected this to my father, who is now deceased, about a year ago, and this is when I started to open myself back up to the concept of past lives, because it seemed to account for unexplainable patterns.


    I am still trying to reconcile reincarnation spiritually, because as a Christian, it doesn't fit in, but I have had flashes and memories for as long as I can remember. Anyway, in the Chinese life, I had children, not conceived in love, and I was ambivalent to them. I believe I was somewhat abusive to them myself, because I didn't know any better, and that I had resentment toward them and the ties that bound me to them and to him. At the same time, I loved them deeply, and tried to protect them from him and his craziness, but I couldn't.


    I was again, as in the first life, dealing with a crazy situation and an erratic person who had power over life and death. I believe I died an agonizing death in childbirth, and felt terribly guilty for having been a bad mother through both my ambivalence toward my children and for leaving them with him, and not protecting them.


    The next life, which is the most recent I have discovered, and which is affecting me the most now, as a woman living from approximately 1899-1943. I am still piecing this together, and there are big gaps in what I remember. This life started with a strange deja vu experience in 1996 that I pushed to the back of my mind, because it was so wierd, and didn't fit with the English memories that I believed at the time were from my ancestors. After I started to become open to reincarnation again I started to explore this and the floodgates opened as I began to do historical research and read first person accounts of ww2 from a British perspective.


    Oddly, I know a lot about ww2, but from an American perspective. I love the British Isles and have an interest in many eras of the history of that region, but I have always instinctively tuned out at any mention of the blitz or anything else regarding ww2 there. I was surprised when I started to do research how much I didn't know, because I guess I didn't want to think about it. Suddenly I understood my weird visceral fear of black curtains, and the first time I saw a picture of a morrison shelter I felt a sick recognition.


    This life was strangely enough, again in Sussex, England, although not the same town, and I spent some time in France. (Strangely I hated France in my life as a man, but loved it in this one). I don't believe I was in London during the blitz, but it was scary enogh where we were. I believe I had a happy childhood and a solid upbringing. In the good years of my life, I believe I was an artist, a flapper, who embraced the "freedom" of a bohemian lifestyle. I did not want to be owned by any man, and did not want to have children. I believe I however found myself entangled in abusive situations, and had a long, though not exclusive relationship with an older man when I was in France who had power over me (possibly my boss?) I was very emotionally dependent on him, and he was neglectful/abusive and highly controlling. I believe this man was an on again off again boyfriend I had in my current life. So I wasn't married, but I was emotionally and financially enslaved. I think I may have had an abortion in this past life. And although I didn't want children, the experience haunted me, and I felt deep sorrow and regret, and was confused by my reaction.


    I am not clear on whether my father from my present life/husband in China was in this English/French life or not. I don't think I had a conscious awareness of the Chinese life here, but that the issues clearly affected me and my decisions. I believe while I was in France I also met the man who would become my husband in my current life. He was an artist and I don't know if we were lovers or just close friends but we were very special to each other and we didn't end up together. I went back to England in my 30s. I suspect it was a combination of things falling apart for me in France and being needed at home. I feel like I had to help my parents. I don't know if I had brothers or sisters, but if I did, they had families, and I did not, so this was my responsibility.


    I believe I had to help my father in his business, then at some point he died. My father in that life is unclear. I think I may currently know the person who was my mother from that life, and also the woman who was my grandmother, (who is still her mother.) Anyway, my mother in that life was disabled, and I am not clear how, but I feel it was something progressive, with mental and physical decline. My father and grandmother died sometime before the start of ww2, leaving me alone with my mother. She needed increasing care, and although I loved my mother, I did not want this type of responsibility and didn't know how to handle it. It was a challenge for me. I was an artist not a nurse or a mother. I didn't know what I was doing and I was scared.


    We were living on the South coast of England in ww2, dealing with the threat and reality of bombings. My wings were completely clipped. My beautiful Paris had been taken over by the nazis and there we were, like sitting ducks, waiting. I suspect we may have been Jewish,but I am not certain of this. No matter what, we were two women, helpless and vulnerable. And I, who liked to go to cafes and dance and create art, was tied down by my responsinilities. There were no caregiver support groups. There was no internet. I wasnt supposed to feel the way I did. I struggled to be a good caretaker and not to be abusive or neglectful. I felt like a bad person, and ruminated over the choices I had made in life, and how my choices were all taken away now. I tried to protect my mother. When the sirens went off I had to get us both into the shelter (hiding under the stairs at the start of the war,then into the cagelike morrison shelter after those became available.) I am not sure the degree of her disability, but I believe this got more and more difficult for both of us. But when the bomb actually hit the house I wasn't there to protect her. I was out. It was a beautiful spring day in 1943 and I don't know if I was grocery shopping or out with a friend, or just trying to have some "me" time. The nice day I was having ended very fast and unexpectedly.


    There was a scene of terrible chaos with multiple bombs dropped. I got injured, and was taken to the hospital. Something happened to my right knee. I don't know if I fell while running or if rubble fell on me. I don't know how bad the injury was, but I believe I actually died some time later as a result of pneumonia, probably from immobility and breathing in smoke and debris, knowing that while I was gone my mother had been killed and all my possessions were gone. I died feeling absolutely helpless.


    In my current life, I am female, live in the usa, and have both English and German heritage, so I can't hate the Germans. I see that everybody suffered in the war. I have always had a terrible fear of fire and of the sirens themselves, which I believe links to the memory of air raids. I often have a fear that something is going to happen to my house while I am out. I have had unexplained pain in my right leg for years and arthritis in my right knee. Interestingly, the pain in my right knee has gotten better since I've started to get in touch with my memories. I have asthma, and often had respiratory problems as a child, including pneumonia, and also have had panic attacks with a feeling of suffocation. I am now 44, the age I believe I was when I last died. I think this is why in the past year or so, so much of this has come up for me. Also, so much of the unrest in the world is reminding me on a visceral level of the years leading up to ww2.


    In this life, I see many parallels to these issues from my previous lives. I have struggled with abusive relationships, starting with my father, then bullies at school, boyfriends. I have always been aware that it is easy to turn around and take my anger out on others, and it has always been important to me to break the cycle of abuse, and to try to be kind and patient with others. I have spent a lot of time trying to manage mentally ill, unstable and unpredictable people personally and professionally. Part of me wanted children, but my fears of being a bad parent and having that type of responsibility won out. I have no children, and have never been pregnant, so I haven't had to face the choice I believe I had to the last time.


    I got married this time, but not until my 40s, when I met the love of my life who I let get away the last time. I used to draw, but got frustrated with it because I didn't get the same talent this time. I love the ocean, but have never wanted to live close to it. I like to visit and then go home. I never like to be in the coast in a storm, and I guess I didn't want to be there in the middle of a war either.


    Snow Storms and hurricanes actually make me feel trapped and helpless, although thilunder storms are ok. I think being trapped in a violent storm reminds me on a gut level of the war, the blackouts, the uncertainty, the loss of personal freedom when it's dangerous to go out. The good thing is, storms end. In the war, the timeline was open ended, everything was "for the duration", and I never made it to the end of that. I am way too attached to my stuff, and aIways afraid of losing things. I become very upset when I can't find something and I sleep with my purse and keys next to my bed always. remember always imagining how to evacuate in case of an emergency as a child, and when a fire threat caused me to evacuate in this life, I knew exactly what to grab in a hurry.


    In another situation a relative's home where I no longer lived, thank God, went on fire. No one was killed, but everything was gone. I lost a number of things in that house that I had stored there, and reacted by compulsively building a collection of vintage and antique ephemera, far beyond replacing what I had lost. I have a ridiculosly large collection of turn of the century fashion magazines and postcards, am enthralled by art nouveau and art deco design, and never realized why. I was always close to my grandmothers (born in the 1910s, and now unfortunately deceased). I have always liked older people, but felt a special bond with those born before about 1920. I have often felt "my people" are almost all gone now. There was a certain world view and way that people had that has changed and that I miss. I think this comes in part from from recognizing my own generation and not realizing it. I never got to grow old with them, but I came back while some of them were still here.


    I am a Lawrence Welk nerd. I love older music and movies.I can't dance, but wish I could, and I adore Fred and Ginger and collect images of vintage dancing couples. I wondered why I like 40s music, when the war was so scary for me, but I think it was because the radio was my lifeline at that time. In the music was light, and life, and hope for a world after the war that sadly I would not see. As soon as I came back in the 1970s I was glued to the radio, my lifeline once again. I remember popular songs back to at least the age of 2 and possibly before, and my knowledge and love of 70s music transcends what was overall not a happy childhood In my current life. I remember the last person I met who was born in the 19th century, and I knew that was something very special, although now it seems more significant to me, in light of my most recent life. My purpose had been different in my current life. I wished I had been a nurse last time, because I was so overwhelmed with the care of my mother.


    I appreciate art and music, and do artwork with the aid of my computer, but my profession is as a nurse. I mainly work with older adults and people with disabilities. I work prn nursing jobs because I love my patients but I hate office politics. Like in my 16th cent.life, when I traveled from place to place on various administrative assignments for the king, I play the game to survive, but don't have to hang out at "court" too much. I have made a number of decisions in my life based on things I have experienced in the past without realizing it. I'm sure other fragments of memories will reveal themselves as needed to teach me more, if I am open.


    I know this has been. A long post. I'm just putting all these pieces together for myself, and I am amazed how much insight I've gained in just a few months. I've had so much influence from this most recent life, both good and bad, and definitely see patterns that carry over.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2016
  9. Obie

    Obie Senior Registered

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    Strange how much we have in common. I too have been a victim time and time again. Abusive mother, bullies at school, one abusive bf but in my experience abusive significant others are the easiest to leave. You cant leave your parents as a small child, because foster homes might be even worse, theres no escaping bullies b/c dropping out of school and missing out on an education is not always an option. I would like to know how to stop being a victim and how to get out of this cycle.


    It seems like in each life, I never have a good family life. Its something that I really crave. ALl the good things in my life, were never given to me. I had to create them for myself and sometimes its very draining.


    In this life I'm a professional but also sort of a bohemian. I always used to say that if I lived during the beat era, I would be a beatnik or the gf of one. I could relate to your flapper life. I've always somehow found freedom in the life where I dont have children, and theres nothing to tie me down. In this life I dont have children, YET. BUt I love the freedom aspect of that.


    I too am an art deco, mid century modern, art nouveau enthusiast. Who knows maybe we might have some sort of past life connection.
     
  10. Traveler16

    Traveler16 New Member

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    Hi Obie! Sorry I haven't had a chance to get back to you sooner! It sounds like we do have some things in common!


    Certain themes seem to run through people's lives, and apparently from life to life, and abusiveness and powerlessness seem to be our big issues.I think we've both developed an awareness, and that's the first step to healing.


    The easiest thing to do is to stay in the painful patterns. You are a courageous person to try to create what you want, and although it's exhausting, it sounds like you are moving forward. I don't really have any answers for how to completely break out of the cycle. All I can say is that becoming aware of being in abusive situation, and learning to remove ourselves if possible and consciously working to change our own behavior and responses to things is a step in the right direction. When we are truly stuck we just feel miserable and don't know why and don't do anything to help ourselves. I think it's a slow learning process, but as we become more aware we learn that we have some control over situations.


    As a child, life does just seem to happen, but as an adult we have some control over where we live, who we live with and how we live our lives. Of course there are many things that are out of out control, and that's where we have to lean on a higher power and trust that we are learning something we need to know.


    I know a lot of people believe we choose our parents. I have a hard time with this concept, but I can imagine that maybe God gives us insight as to why we are going into our next lives, and what we need to learn. I can't imagine that I chose my father in this life, but maybe I was given the reasons why I needed to work things out with him beforehand. I don't know how much we worked out; the best thing I could do was to distance myself from him, but maybe that was the right answer for me. I certainly feel I was better off not having him in my life, sadly. I don't know, and I am definitely not an expert on reincarnation. I only know that I'm a person with many memories and emotions that go beyond my own known experience, and I am finally exploring them, and what they have to teach me.


    As far as if we have a past life connection, it sounds like we were both in England in the 1500s, in very different social positions. Maybe our paths crossed in some way there. Also do you think you may have been in England or France during the 20th century period when I believe I was? Its funny that I believe I lived a bohemian lifestyle before, because my life is pretty boring and conventional today. But I've always had a little "wild side" that comes out every so often! I think in that life I had a lot if regrets, because I had a strong moral code, and didn't always feel like I was doing the right thing, and questioned a lot of the decisions I made. May be why I have a more "boring" life this time. Best wishes! It's nice to meet you!
     
  11. Wandering Mom

    Wandering Mom New Member

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    I remember being a young Irish woman during the Potato Famine. I had grown up in an orphanage, and never knew who my parents were. When I was old enough to leave, I stayed on, caring for the children. One day an English official came to inspect the place. The place was not fit for human habitation, and he fell through the floor and died. To hush things up, the British hustled me, and a young man who had stayed on to help me, on a ship bound for America. We were married and I became pregnant. I see myself lying in bed in a New York tenement, fearful because I was a petite person, the baby was very large and I had no money for a midwife or doctor. I died in childbirth.


    The opposite is as a member of the Yorkist dynasty in 15th century medieval England. I led a life of privilege in a loving family. Echoes of this life are with me still, and it seems to be one that has effected my life today a great deal. I died in childbirth. Just as a side note, when I was in labor with my second child in this life, everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Without medical intervention, I would have died in childbirth again.
     
  12. Obie

    Obie Senior Registered

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  13. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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    Have you seen my post on The Blitz?


    http://www.reincarnationforum.com/threads/the-blitz.1241/


    You might find it interesting Traveler. I used to hang with a fairly 'Bohemian' set back in those days myself, in Gay Paris for a while and in London. I muse in there too about the things that are similar and those that are different between that life and my life now. It's pretty detailed as I think it's the most recent one. Those tend to be the clearest (although not always).
     
  14. tanguerra

    tanguerra Moderator Emeritus

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  15. Traveler16

    Traveler16 New Member

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    Hello! Tried to post a couple of weeks ago and was having trouble.
     
  16. Traveler16

    Traveler16 New Member

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    Obie, yes I have always been drawn to creative and interesting places and people, although I'm pretty ordinary on the surface. I am often bored by the every day, and I feel like I am always "looking for something." I admire and appreciate "free spirits" and people who think outside of the mainstream, and live life on their own terms. During my daily activities, I am often distracted by artwork on the walls, music that is playing, a certain slant of light, and other things that I think most people don't even notice. Although I don't go into the city as much as I did when I was younger, I enjoy art galleries, live music, interesting coffee shops, old book stores, thrift shops, craft shows and out of the way places. I still seek out places locally and when on vacation where there's an artistic community and an interesting vibe. I have never been part of any "counterculture" movements myself, but they intrigue me, and I find the aesthetic, art, and music of the Beats and Hippies interesting, although I truly don't believe I was here in the 50s and 60s.
     

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