Discussion in 'Past Life Memories' started by tanguerra, Jun 8, 2007.
Ooo Tang - - ;-)
So, how familiar did he "feel" to you?
No, I am fairly familiar with that feeling, but that was not it. If he might have 'recognised' me without knowing it, it could have been a case that he was someone I met back then, but who just did not make much of an impression on me.
Or he might just have been flirting with me the plain old fashioned way.
I was just re-reading this old thread and realise I did not include a bit of detail. When I recalled the 'bathtub incident' (the suicide) my bathtub was pink. It was probably a bit before its day - pink bathtubs did not become fashionable until after the war, in the fifties - but being a prostitute, I had a pink bathtub. It was a bit of 'glamour' back in the day. I remember floating above my body afterwards - the pink bathtub, my pink body, the water in the bath going from pink to red... [creepy ... sorry... ]
Yes, they had them in the thirties I think, but they weren't all that common but I liked it at the time, because I thought it was a bit of movie-style glamour.
I remember surveying the sordid scene from above, my rather chubby body, the chipped enamel, an overflowing ash tray the half-empty gin bottle... and sort of thinking to myself Tsk tsk!
I am a newbie here and have been reading through all the interesting threads on here - SO MANY of them, lol!
I just wondered if you have ever read any of Jean Rhys novels? 'Good Morning Midnight', 'After Leaving Mr MacKenize','Voyage in the Dark'. If not, I am sure you would really relate.
She was a fabulous writer. She lived a rather seedy life in the 20's and 30's, partially in Paris, I am not quite sure where else too. She tried to drink herself to death at one point - but failed she lived to be 80 odd! Those three novels are all set in the 20's/30's and all the heroines are down on their luck models and dancers and so on.
I also wondered if you have ever seen 'The Memphis Belle'. Since your 2 lovers in the war were aircrew, you might be interested. The director or writer of this movie is British and he wanted to make it about a squadron of Lancaster bombers, but could get no funding. The Americans were willing to fund such a project, but insisted that he made it about a squadron of American bombers, Flying Fortresses.
WW2 is not 'my era', but the film struck me as very authentic. It is mainly a flying film, but you might still be interested.
My father was in Liverpool during the Blitz. He was a volunteer fireman, before he joined the Navy. He recalls the night the income tax building in Liverpool caught fire - bomb - and they did not hurry themselves to put it out!:thumbsup: Just made sure stuff around it did not go up too.
I thought you description of the older man as 'dead dashing' was very Northern English! In Liverpool it would be '''E was dead dashing, like.'
Thanks Maxine. No I haven't read those books or seen that film, but they sound interesting. It certainly was an interesting time to be alive.
I heard an air raid siren the other day (at a climate change rally where they used it for 'effect') and it made the hair come up on my neck, but also filled me with a kind of nostalgia. A very strange feeling.
This is a bit of a cross post, but it's nice to keep things together. I posted this in My friend X, but it belongs in this life too. I can still remember the feeling of his uniform on my cheek when we were dancing to this whenever I think of this. He was so tall and so brave! (sigh!) It always makes my eyes well up when I hear it. It's so pretty....
...[X and I] were sitting in a cafe [in this life, recently] with some people and the background music played 'A nightingale sang in Berkeley Square', which is a very romantic song from WWII.
It might even have been this version of it (then and now) [but probably not actually Glenn Miller, probably a local band copying them]:
Thank you for sharing Tanguerra. A very touching memory. I loved the way you expressed the feeling of his uniform on your cheek.
Thanks Deborah. It's funny how you can remember a tactile thing like that, isn't it, but it's quite clear.
I must have been a bit shorter than I am now (I'm pretty sure I was). X and I are not that different in height now. He's only a few inches taller than me.
I'm having the most shocking fit of nostalgia this evening (or is it deja vu???).
I've been reading back over this thread, because all this stuff has recently been brought back to front of mind through watching the HBO Series Boardwalk Empire, set in the 1920s - between the wars.
Obviously, it's set in America, not Britain, and the music and the 'hits' were slightly different, but they've captured the period very well. The dresses! The hairstyles! The little social and technological details! It's like opening up an old trunk and smelling your grandmother's lavender scented bits and pieces... Hard to describe...
I've been very busy the past couple of years saving the world and running about and haven't really thought about this stuff for a while ... except now and then.... But it's all come rushing back tonight when I read back over this and again watched this video clip of
In real life X and I had a furious argument (for us) 10 months ago. He let me down in a most unforgivable fashion (hereinafter to be referred to as the 'alleged incident') and we have not spoken a word since. Nor have either or us seen hide nor hair of each other or wish to (although I am always apprised of the latest gossip by our mutual social circle who all agree that his behaviour was more appalling than usual). Maybe it's time for the dam to burst? Sometimes tears can be a sign of healing? Nostalgia is a good sign. I seem to recall I read that in a book once?
"the whole darn world seemed upside down...and like an echo, far away, a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square..."
I had an extended 'flashback' last night about this life.
I'd had a busy day and been rushing about, 'stirring up trouble' on social media (we have an election going on here at the moment), did my taxes, this and that, busy, busy... A friend dropped over for a visit in the evening, but he'd left behind something he wanted to show me and had to go back and get it. He would be gone for about 10 minutes and I thought 'Quick, jump back on the computer...' then I thought 'No, just stop for a minute and take a breath! Sheesh!'
So I sat back on the couch, flicked on the radio, and closed my eyes and 'Bam!' there was a jazz tune playing and there I was... [lost data since the forum upgrade - best I can recall about this] party going on, someone's birthday.
[There was a band playing, as was usual. The place was packed with service men. A sea of brown and blue. I came down the stairs from my little flat and saw this tall, handsome guy standing by the bar and our 'eyes met'. He was wearing an air force uniform and looked a bit like now, but not quite... I went over to him after a while and we started 'flirting'. He offered me a fancy gold-tipped French cigarette, using a very familiar back handed motion to hand one to me, out of his 'top pocket'. Obviously his 'best move' to impress 'the ladies'... Air Force pilots could get things like French cigarettes back then, which was quite a treat back in the days, and I asked him ... do you come here often? He replied (very innocently and sweetly) no, this is my first time... He asked me what I wanted to drink and I asked for a neat gin, which made him momentarily raise an aristocrat eyebrow - he seemed shocked and amused at the same time... a 'classic' X expression in hindsight...
He was with a bunch of friends he knew 'from school' - some air force, some army. They were all obviously very rich and 'slumming it' in my little bar, presumably on leave and wanting to live it up - I assume it was one of their friends' birthday party which was why they were there. Anyway, we got talking and laughing and X and I danced ... He was an OK dancer and prided himself on it, but of course I did it for a living. It struck me as funny because he prides himself (now) on his great dancing but he dances a bit like this... not that there's anything wrong with that...
He came back a few weeks later on his next leave and we danced and danced and danced.... Charleston, Foxtrot, Waltz..
He expressed astonishment that I lived upstairs and thought it was all super cool - 'smashing' was the word he used. I doubt he had any idea at that point what I did for a living. He seemed to have led a fairly sheltered life and the 'bohemia' of it all probably seemed thrilling to him at the time I suppose.]
There's more. Much more. But this is already long. I'll save the rest for another day.
I remembered we all went to one of these guys' houses for a weekend party. Me, X, his friends and a bunch of girls in two car loads. They all had names like Binky, Eddie, Boffin and Puss and that sort of thing. Almost everyone had some kind of nickname. The house was enormous - all very Brideshead Revisited. We had a wild time, listening to jazz, knocking back champagne, pushing back the furniture and Persian rugs so we could dance on the parquet floor, the boys cooking scrambled eggs the next morning in their boxer shorts, military-style, as the servants were not there ...
X and I were getting along famously and were wildly in love. He said he wanted to marry me, but I knew that was impossible and would never happen. He was way out of my class and it just wouldn't have 'done' at all, but X being X he didn't see the obstacles. He talked about how he was tired of the restrictions he felt in life due to his family and their expectations and 'stuffiness'. He said, after the war, we could just run away together, somewhere, where nobody knew us or cared about 'class'. He had money, why shouldn't he do whatever he wanted, with whoever he wanted? It all sounded highly impractical to me, but I thought, well, let's just get through the war first and then, who knows? I assumed it was just the booze and the fun and the uncertainty and excitement of the war inspiring all this talk.
It's a mirror of his life this time in some ways. He abandoned the conservative career path that was mapped out for him and decided to chuck everything in, ran away from it all with his girlfriend at the time, and came to my home town to become a writer instead (although not a whole lot of writing really ever gets done, truth be told).
And then, about a month later, he was shot down and he was dead and that was the end of that.
It's strange very had very simliar experiences
It was an interesting time. Were you in the UK or France? Maybe we knew each other? Wouldn't that be funny? But I think you moved in a somewhat different 'circle' from what I've read about your experiences.
Thanks Tanguerra... I have a connection to smokey old jazz bars too, not sure from where, but I can always find one... and feel so "at home" and relaxed, like what is happening elsewhere has no meaning at all. The music, low lights, blue smokey hue... it all seems to hold both loneliness and love at the same time. Like the soul knows more than it can conceive, and the heart, nourished by the gin, scrambles to touch the ethereal emotion of Her. One moment to cry, the next to laugh; it's as if time, and all its stacked up ages, merge into one juncture, and all feelings are manifest at once. For me, it is always triggered by Her... people who look like her, throw their head back as they laugh like her, chew their stirring stick like her, drift off in trance like stares like her... Sometimes I want to cross reality and reenact some smokey Bogart and Becall movie. Perhaps I'm searching to reclaim an old moment.
Thanks for making me think about it this morning... this quiet day after morning...
I lived the us. I might been from england
One thing I hated back then was beer
I was a wine drinker.
Perhaps you are?
That could be a clue. There are important differences between wine and beer drinkers.
I was thinking about this a bit during the day and the bar I recall isn't at all dark (although pretty smokey!). It was very brightly lit. Electricity was still a relatively new luxury back then and a place like this would have all the lights turned up full because people found it glamourous and exciting to have lights as bright as day even at night. It was a show of extravagence and exuberance. It's in more recent times that we associate dim lighting and candles with romance (maybe a 'cheapskate' bar owner started the trend?).
I found this image which is like what I recall, coming down the stairs from my little apartment and seeing X by the bar but it was a much smaller place. This looks like the USA not London, [is that Cab Calloway? and imagine all the men in uniform] but you get the idea...
Also like this at ground level. That thick haze in the air is no doubt cigarette smoke though!
I know what you mean about laughing and crying though. This one was a real roller coaster ride for me over the weekend, because I kept getting little 'after flashes'. One minute I'm recalling the happiest time of my life, the next I'm remembering when I got the news he was dead. Dreadful! Still, I guess that's life isn't it? I cried myself to sleep the other night thinking about it, although I felt a bit silly since it was all so long ago and I only saw X the other day (at a birthday party in a crowded bar full of bohemians with a band...a few hours after I had this flashback - coincidence? Probably not).
I came across this shadows, and I thought of you:
It was a fun time (a lot of the time).
Thanks for posting this. There were a lot of things here I hadn't seen before.
Your song Tanguerra is of that time
I just wrote this song
In the garden, I find flowers everywhere
I stride. The sun is shining...
You will find me in another time again...
were I begin.. to see you again...
Seek and you shall find.. another reason
to start another day again...
Watching that youtube video brought it out
in me. I remember the beaches
And the club parties but that music, got to be annoying real quick
I went blues clubs and clubs that had no music.
There are some pretty cute clips in there! I thought people might get a kick out of it. [i sure did]
I guess all that jazz could get on your nerves after a while!
X absolutely loathes jazz in this life, especially that 1920s-30s stuff. He doesn't mind Miles Davis (in small doses) but the old stuff drives him crazy. He really can't stand the 'experimental' modern stuff, but I fully agree with him on that one!
When we were sharing my apartment for a year or so (this life) he used to complain if I put jazz of any kind on the stereo.
When George Gershwin wrote "Rhapsody in Blue" in 1924 it was a jazz piece. Fast tempo. I first heard "Rhapsody in Blue" listening to my parents old 78 rpm records. Because 78's only played 4 or 5 minutes, classical pieces like this were spanned over several discs. They were kept in an album with pages, which is where the term "record album" came from.
is the original jazz version on youTube.
That's interesting argonne. I'd never thought of why they were called 'record albums'. It's kind of interesting about Rhapsody in Blue. In this life I mentioned that the 'man who led me astray' and I were lovers for a while when we were about the same ages. I always liked jazz, even then. I was about 19 years old. He was about 37. I'd bought an album of Rhasody in Blue at a second hand shop or something for $1 and I thought it was marvellous! I put it on his stereo and turned it up 'full', as I wanted to share it with him, and he hated it! (He was a Beatles man). He actually yelled at me to turn it off, when he never used to usually yell. He got very cross with me and asked me 'what did I think I was doing playing that racket?' A little present life flashback! I wonder if he 'hated' it because of some connection to that time? It was considered pretty 'out there' back then and many people didn't like it at the time. Anyway...
I remembered various snippets of 'period' conversation during this recent 'flashback'. It was very clear and lasted quite a long time - about 5 minutes. I've quoted a few above 'smashing' and the nicknames - Boffin, Bunny and Puss.
I remember the moment of meeting X in that life about as clearly as I remember the paralell moment in this life. Once more we were in a bar at a party - little flashes of conversation, looks and smiles....
He asked me what I wanted to drink and I asked for a neat gin, which made him raise one aristocratic eyebrow slightly then smile a very cheeky X smile.
At one point, at the house party, he said he'd never had such fun before in his life, and I said he obviously 'simply hadn't met any alcoholics before'. For some reason this was hilariously funny at the time. I was teasing him and trying not to let him get too serious I think.
Lots of little sparkly moments... It's good to have a pleasant memory for a change!
When I wrote that song I saw myself
singing it . That video did indeed bring some memories
back . I remember a place called the glass
bath house? I think.? it was in san fransico.
back in old days. And the pike also.
Sutro Baths. They were world famous back around 1900. Unfortunately they burned down. But today you can still see the foundations and the pools if you look down from the Cliff House, which is also famous. What do you remember about the bath house? Were you inside the buildings?
This one was Huell Howser years ago.
There's something about it. I have connection
with I wish they show epsiode again.
Separate names with a comma.