What kind of being is this..

Discussion in 'Reincarnation, Religion and Spirituality' started by Totoro, Nov 25, 2020.

  1. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    This is a pretty broad question.. Long story short, I met a woman recently that has re-awakened or reintroduced me to a lot of dormant "abilities" I've had since I was a child. I had a psychic do a reading for me (yes I know.. however, she told me and validated details I already knew about myself / past lives that she wasn't aware of) about this woman and she said that there was so much intense fire and darkness around me, it was hard to see through.

    Sometime after the reading I became interested in this aurora of fire and darkness. All of my past (and suspected past) lives have tarot birth cards of death and the emperor. I did some tarot readings about what kind of being or soul energy I am and I got a single card of death. My birthday is the 13th (through multiple lives), death is #13 in the tarot. I asked what my purpose was on the Earth and I got the horned one (using llewellyn's deck from their website), the world and the wheel of fortune, which I interpreted to mean I'm a devil / deamon, who came to Earth to create change. However I don't think that I'm a "devil" in that sense; I think that card was the only person "not of the Earth" card in the deck. You could argue the priestess is, maybe, but I don't think the meaning would have been as obvious.

    I decided to switch decks to something that didn't used such obvious Judeo / Christian symbolism and I used the fairy ring deck instead. I asked the same question and I got Samhain (death), the grim reaper (death) and Beltane (festival of fire).

    All (or most) of my lives, I've either been a solider or a spiritual leader, a combination warrior priest if you will. Being told I'm death / darkness and fire by a psychic and a two tarot readings I did myself, is really perplexing. I don't really hold to established traditions in terms of good and evil and that sort of thing and obviously, I present a contradiction here.

    Is anyone aware of anything in any tradition, idea or way of thinking that fits the description of someone, some being, entity (or plural), energy, soul type representing a warrior, death, fire and good works on earth? So to speak?

    The reader said at one point during the reading that in one of my lives I was a foundling and I told her that in all of my lives I've felt like a foundling from the universe. Maybe there is truth in that.

    This is line of thinking is new to me and totally different from anything I've experienced so far in my life. I did discover what I had suspected about my life now though.. it's a time out to realign myself with myself and to pretty much enjoy myself, as I've spent so many lives in the service of others, I've forgotten my own true nature.

    Shooting in the dark here, but any help would be greatly appreciated.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2020
  2. fireflydancing

    fireflydancing just a fly in the sky Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Hi Totoro,
    Your question is long indeed. I understand your quest to find your true self.
    I think you do agree that you can't and shouldn't rely on others (people) for this journey
    inwards to take place.
    I think a lot of us, probably all, originally came from other places. I do remember my first life here on Earth, well, I do have 'memories' of being a baby, wrapped up in animal fur, on the back of my then mother, I remember caves and wolves and my state of being was so content, warm, happy and the baby/little me watched the stars, knowing so strongly that "We are/were children of the Stars". Baby and its people came from "the Stars".
    Ok, let's not just talk about me.
    I think your story contains several interesting points.
    The combination of death, darkness, and fire might indicate several things.
    It's the symbolism of the Phoenix, for example. The Phoenix, Lord Shiva, Pluto... Death is the end of a cycle, then follows the Dark Night of the Soul (the Soul wanders in the darkness of the Void), comes out and the fire is the rebirth. This is nothing demonic,
    just the cycle of Life. Do you have Scorpio somewhere in your birth chart? (Scorpio=Pluto=Lord Shiva=Phoenix)
    Apart from the words above, the combination of death, darkness, and fire is also the way a Soul follows towards Enlightenment. Not literally 'death' btw. And 'fire' is the kundalini energy. When this life force energy goes through a body, it feels like a real fire. Darkness is not a bad thing in these contexts. It's the absence of input, a moment to go inside. For people with big ego struggles, it's a horrible place/time period. For people who go with the flow, it's ok and interesting.

    And third, this theme of death, grim reaper, and so-called darkness might also indicate another explanation. In my belief, our souls form groups with different 'tasks' and abilities. Some of us are good at 'transitioning'. Including dying. Unconsciously or consciously we do our job assisting other people with their 'transitions'.
    Maybe this resonates with you, your dreams, and stories from your life. You don't have to intervene nor do anything at all. Just your presence is key. It might also happen when you sleep. Your soul might go to places with fatal accidents or war zones and help people to transition in a peaceful and smooth way.
     
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  3. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    Truth be told the vast majority of souls here in this world as well the countless that have come and gone originated elsewhere in creation be other worlds, planes of existence, even across the multiverse over time spans beyond human imagining. The sad part in most spiritual communities people only stay on the shallow end of only having Earth in their focus leaving out everything else that still to this day has an affect on their lives and often serves as the bases of who and what they really are. There is some impressively interesting stories that people have told of such lives and they turn up time to time on social media.
     
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  4. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

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    Death isn't always literal. You could also interpret it as the end of the old and the beginning of something else. I don't have a problem with tarot cards, but I always try to take the results with a grain of salt. It's easy to misinterpret the readings because there's so many ways to view something.

    Many ancient cultures worshipped fire, thinking it was basically the start of life. In more esoteric terms, it's primordial life energy that constantly spreads itself if it isn't contained.
     
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  5. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Firefly...

    I realize now, I've been "volun-told" that I'm on vacation from saving the world until I get reacquainted with my true self. It answers a lot of questions about the patterns in my past two lives and my current one that I already suspected. I hit a new point of stability recently and I guess "they" figured it was time to turn up the volume on me to 11.

    I absolutely agree. However, the issue for me at the time was that I was moving away from the world of verifiable facts of history and my documented past lives and into something completely abstract and honestly, I felt overwhelmed and I lost faith in myself and I opted for the phone a friend choice for a shove in the right direction. I've always had "gifts" of one kind or another and I've ignored them since I was a child for various reasons.. mainly because we live in a world that doesn't require them anymore.

    I'll just take a side note here and say that I know many of you reading this have also read my ongoing research thread over the years. I'm sure a lot of you probably wish you've had lives that were documented like that and I can agree that it has made the process of past life validation much, much easier. However, I do warn you in my thread that being "rich and famous" isn't what it's cracked up to be. I also want to reiterate the baggage I'm also now dealing with in my current life because of it. Now, the universe has pretty much slapped me in the face for ignoring my gifts and ultimate purpose in life.. Why is that? I didn't believe in myself and I got off track. You might be thinking, "why don't you believe in yourself? You were a king! A princess! We'd all kill to have that kind of history..".

    Yeah... but.. I'm going to say. These days, everyone is on Instagram, everyone can buy a gucci handbag. Did you notice that "star power" has proportionally decreased with the increase in the market in low priced luxury goods and the omnipresence of social media in the last 20 years? When your 16 year old daughter can be a model on Instagram (and that's NOT a good idea) do you really care about what the actress so and so is up to? No.. not any more. People no longer respect you or need you or anyone with "gifts" that may give you an edge in survival in the natural world that may make you a better and more effective leader. They also don't care if you're the wealthy daughter of an imperial minister who happens to marry the emperor either. So I've hidden it all away.. I never even talk about reincarnation outside of this forum. But.. the universe has decided I still have work to do and I need to take a vacay and figure it out. See.. I'd rather be average, I keep hearing myself say.. to myself. The grass isn't always greener.. I'm not special. My life sucks just as much as yours and is just as hard. I meant that with an LOL, but you get my meaning, I hope.

    Anyway, Firefly.. what was I saying. Yes, my birthday is in November, as I was saying, for all of my lives, that I can tell. I seem to be locked to Scorpio, the last two lives that I can verify were the 13th for their birthdays (including my own). And no.. I never saw the devil card or anything else as demonic or evil. I don't look at it that way and I agree about the dark, I've never been afraid of it. I've always just seen it as the absence of light and nothing more, not an evil fog that will eat us up. On another darkness theme, the reader had a good point.. she drew the moon card for me (I always get it too) and she said for me, it was a good thing. In the context of me, I've always drawn my strength from thinking, imagining and daring where angels fear to tread, to investigate, dream, seek and ask questions. My birth cards now are the moon and hermit.. I've left the battlefield for a sabbatical.

    And.. you were right on the money about the helping the dead transition. I bought a pack of tarot cards, rather than rely on the online ones, because I wanted to do some custom spreads I couldn't do with the online ones and I was doing some free form shuffling and drawing and I pulled death - 5 of swords - the moon. The statement made was immediately obvious; death visits a battlefield during the night. That's funny in a way because years ago when I used to play D&D I always wanted to play necromancer characters but the DM always argued that they had to be evil and I always questioned why. Part of my reasoning was because you can talk to souls and help them transition to the after life, help them complete unfinished business between their families.. how is that evil?

    But, you also filled in a missing piece of a past life I had. The reader told me in a past life I left Austria and fell in love with an African woman. Years ago, Nightrain and I had a lengthy conversation on the forum about military tents and all kinds of things, from dreams I had about South Africa. Those dreams were also in German but one part I couldn't figure out was why I also rapidly floating around an encampment, through tent walls, looking for someone. Thanks to you, now I know why :) That also explains all of the out of body experiences I've had my whole life, way back to my childhood. When I was sleeping, I used to float up and sit on my roof and look at the moon. Once I flew around the house and got scared I'd get caught out of bed and I flew right up the stairs to my room. I thought they were all dreams until years later.


    That's kind of where I'm going with this. In all of my lives, being in a position of power and also being a down to earth likeable person, had only increased my respect and esteem. As we're entering the modern world and have been for the last hundred years or so, those same qualities are now working against me and my relationships with other people and I've failed to adapt. I'm being told that I need to take a good look at myself and realign it with how I engage with the world. Part of that process is me waking up to the fact I may also be inherently different in contrast to most other people and I think that involves being maybe from a different plane. I agree with Klaud below in that I thought the radiant energy I seem to be radiating may be primordial or elemental in nature. I'm trying to choose my words carefully, but I've been speculating it's from a plane with a higher vibrational rate than here.

    I guess piggy backing off that and to bring up a point I wanted to mention to firefly, I went to St Augustine several years back and my family did a ghost tour at night of the city that also went through the Ripley's and they gave us EMP meter reader things to use. Most of the tour was ho hum, but in one room, mine apparently went nuts when no one else's did. I didn't even notice until the guide pointed it out. I've always attracted animals and spirits. That's another reason I hated being left alone when I was a kid when we moved down south. I was always sick due to the change in climate and my parents were always at work or off golfing. It gave me abandonment issues (which is another story) but part of the problem was there was always something else in the house with me. I'm used to it now.. but everything combined back then gave me issues.

    Speaking of animals though, the reader did tell me the reason I like nature so much is because I'm half elf or faerie. That I don't know about.. unless it can be explained as another type of being from another plane or something.

    Back on point though, this is all new to me. I just figured we were all from the same place more or less and we all put our pants on one leg at a time.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2020
  6. Totoro

    Totoro Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

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    I'm usually pretty good at readings.. in fact a lot of the ones I did for free were people asking about dead relatives. But.. the issue I was having was is that I wasn't totally sure if I was projecting something subconsciously into my readings. I wanted to cross check with someone ( that scientific part of my mind) and I think she was pretty right on.

    I don't think I'm fire and darkness in some sort of evil way, but rather a light in the darkness. Like firefly was saying about souls with jobs, I asked what I was and I got the death card. Maybe that's my part time job.. a grim reaper. I was doing research into angels today and the non modern accounts of Azrael seem to be the type of person I am. He was described as a councilor, a warrior who also commanded fire, the kindest of all of the angels since he dealt directly with so much grief and he helped souls transition to the afterlife.

    That honestly describes what I've been learning and experiencing.. that's not a commentary on religion or me saying I'm him.. but, I think as you all are saying, there's much much more going on here (with me and everyone) than looking up a website that tells us there's only seven soul types and trying to simply pick the best fit. It's not that simple and we've just closed off our minds to it, like there and back was saying.
     
  7. There and back again

    There and back again Senior Member

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    @Totoro

    There is a label you can look into that brings up some information that might be very useful to you since you are already heading in that direction. Personally I am ready to put in the towel when it comes to Earth as so much has changed and it has been pulling me down big time especially with the social hell over the past couple of years plus I don't relate much at all to most anymore anyway.
     
  8. Klaud

    Klaud Senior Member

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    I'm not saying she gave you a wrong interpretation, just that it may not be the only one that's applicable. It's a big universe with endless possibilities.

    Many of us have been around earth long enough to forget what we really are, whatever that may be.
     
  9. Base12

    Base12 Active Member

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    Hestia/Vesta. Goddess of the Hearth and Fire.

    Hestia's brother was Hades, the god of the underworld and death.
     
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