Hippy16
Senior Registered
Well I haven’t regressed in over a month, so I decided to try today, since I wasn’t tired, and fairly calm. So anyways, I went under fairly quickly, and fairly deep. I felt very far away. So anyways, as usual I return to the same house and walk inside. I walk in and I feel cold, I see our Christmas tree is up, in the corner of the living room by the window. I see cards hanging on the wall. And the same family portrait of me, my husband, and daughter as I saw in another regression. I peek in the kitchen. I feel very groggy. The house is dark, like its dusk outside, kinda blue gray, I look out the window its looks like it will snow. I got upstairs to my bedroom, and I am touching the wooden post on my bed, its round, and I notice how round the end is. I see the calendar says December 19th 1943, Its Sunday! Look it up if you don’t believe me, but it really was a Sunday again!! How does this keep happening?? I mean this to me, means what I am seeing is real, because what are the chances of always seeing an actual date? Hm, I just looked at my last regression, and I also returned to 1943. I wonder why that year is significant? So anyways I look in the mirror and my hair is different, I feel I got it done, for the holidays. Its real curly and round, not my typical style, and I don’t like it. I have black pointed high heels on, and I am putting on this khaki coat, and covering my head with a scarf. I then grab my bag and walk outside, and continue walking down the street, until it tells me to go to my job. I am then at this building again, upstairs, there are a lot of desk with woman on typewriters, a lot of stuff scattered about. I see a man come out of an office, he is carrying a box of stuff, he has a white dress shirt and gray pants, he is balding and fat. I say something to him, and I’m talking to the other girls, I’m not sure what I was doing. I also noticed I was the head of something. I said, “ I’m the head of…” I was telling someone that. I felt really happy, and important at this point. I’m not sure what year it was, but I felt it was 1946 or 47 (this was at the end of my life) And I thought to myself, how did I let all of this go.
So then I return to my childhood in that life, it is 1924 and I say I look around 14. I am in the back room, and doing something with my hair. My mom is in her bed, and she is sick. It tells me to ask her for a message, and she says some random things. The says “You are your worst enemy, don’t let you get the best of you.” Then I leave. I see our flowers planted outside. I bump into someone by the road, and say sorry. I’m not sure who he was. Looked like a mailman, or something like that.
Then I go to a bad memory. So I am in the kitchen, and its 1934. I am on a rampage, I am throwing stuff around, and I break a beer bottle on the wall. My husband is trying to calm me down, but I am hitting him, and crying to him. Then I fall down into a chair and am crying and flailing about. (at this point I, meaning me, am watching this in horror, I couldn’t understand why I would be acting like this) My daughter is real little, if its 1934, she is 4 years old. I go upto her and slap her really hard and start beating her around until my husband grabs me, and at this point I start crying in real life, I couldn’t believe I was beating my daughter. I know I was drunk, or on something, I just don’t know what was going on. And I am saying I will never do it again, and I keep repeating that. I then pull away from the memory. I just could not believe I would do that.
Then to a happy memory, I am little again, and I’m laying in the grass, and its warm, and its summer, and ahh it was just such a good memory to make me feel better. I just remembered, I then said I wanted to see Richard. So I am with him, and we are kissing, and hugging. It’s 1929. I am already married to Charles. Then Richard is carrying me inside his hotel room, I can picture the hotel room clearly. Then it ended. The people at the hotel were looking at us weird, It felt like they knew what was going on, but I didn’t care at the time.
I was just completely shocked to see myself acting like i did. This isn’t the first time i regressed to see myself having an angry fit. I feel i was drunk during this memory, but I’m not really sure. I can see now that i had some really bad issues in that life. I wonder if i was always an abusive drunk, which could be why i feel so reluctant to drink or get drunk in this life. It's just strange because through my regressions i always seem to come out as the victim, the poor girl who married an abusive alcoholic and had all her dreams shattered. But now i see i wasn’t as much a victim as i thought. Ever since my first regression i knew i didn’t love my daughter as much as i should of, and had the thought she ruined my life. I just never dreamed i actually physically abused her as well. Now i just wonder where she is now, is she still alive as a 77-year-old woman, or did she die and reincarnated somewhere else. I hope i will meet her in this life, to perhaps work through some of our issues. My theory is she will be my child in this life, so we can redo our parent child relationship in a much better setting.
So then I return to my childhood in that life, it is 1924 and I say I look around 14. I am in the back room, and doing something with my hair. My mom is in her bed, and she is sick. It tells me to ask her for a message, and she says some random things. The says “You are your worst enemy, don’t let you get the best of you.” Then I leave. I see our flowers planted outside. I bump into someone by the road, and say sorry. I’m not sure who he was. Looked like a mailman, or something like that.
Then I go to a bad memory. So I am in the kitchen, and its 1934. I am on a rampage, I am throwing stuff around, and I break a beer bottle on the wall. My husband is trying to calm me down, but I am hitting him, and crying to him. Then I fall down into a chair and am crying and flailing about. (at this point I, meaning me, am watching this in horror, I couldn’t understand why I would be acting like this) My daughter is real little, if its 1934, she is 4 years old. I go upto her and slap her really hard and start beating her around until my husband grabs me, and at this point I start crying in real life, I couldn’t believe I was beating my daughter. I know I was drunk, or on something, I just don’t know what was going on. And I am saying I will never do it again, and I keep repeating that. I then pull away from the memory. I just could not believe I would do that.
Then to a happy memory, I am little again, and I’m laying in the grass, and its warm, and its summer, and ahh it was just such a good memory to make me feel better. I just remembered, I then said I wanted to see Richard. So I am with him, and we are kissing, and hugging. It’s 1929. I am already married to Charles. Then Richard is carrying me inside his hotel room, I can picture the hotel room clearly. Then it ended. The people at the hotel were looking at us weird, It felt like they knew what was going on, but I didn’t care at the time.
I was just completely shocked to see myself acting like i did. This isn’t the first time i regressed to see myself having an angry fit. I feel i was drunk during this memory, but I’m not really sure. I can see now that i had some really bad issues in that life. I wonder if i was always an abusive drunk, which could be why i feel so reluctant to drink or get drunk in this life. It's just strange because through my regressions i always seem to come out as the victim, the poor girl who married an abusive alcoholic and had all her dreams shattered. But now i see i wasn’t as much a victim as i thought. Ever since my first regression i knew i didn’t love my daughter as much as i should of, and had the thought she ruined my life. I just never dreamed i actually physically abused her as well. Now i just wonder where she is now, is she still alive as a 77-year-old woman, or did she die and reincarnated somewhere else. I hope i will meet her in this life, to perhaps work through some of our issues. My theory is she will be my child in this life, so we can redo our parent child relationship in a much better setting.
