This is something that I feel very passionate about. Your memories are quite interesting, but it is not the way I see them. I, myself, believe myself to be Maria Nikolaevna Romanova reincarnated and I see very different things than you, so I thought I'd share them. I hope you don't think that I'm being a pain, I just want to share my perspective.
On the night of the murder they woke us up very early in the morning. My sisters and I were in the same room and they came to our door knocking around Midnight, so we hadn't been asleep for very long. Tatyana was the first one awake and she answered the door and Yurovsky told her "Wake your siblings and your parents and attendees and meet us downstairs in twenty minutes. Dress for travel, we will be moving you to a new, safer location as the whites approach us swiftly and you will be in danger if you stay here. Don't bring anything with you, everything will be transported afterwards. It is imperative we move with haste." She nodded and woke us all up, Olga was stony and depressed as usual, but she seemed hopeful, she suggested we bring our pillows at least as we would be more comfortable with them. We dressed in corsets with jewels in them so our jewels would be able to go with us wherever we went. I brushed Nastya's hair and pinned the little bit of it up for her one last time and we whispered a few words of love to each other. We gathered our things, Nastya held our Jemmy and Tatya her Ortipo and we went downstairs to join the others.
Alyosha and Mama and Papa were already waiting for us, as were a few soldiers and Yurovsky. They led us to the basement to wait for them to bring the car around, and we ended up in a cellar room, green striped wallpaper and windows on one side of the wall, a door near the back. Papa sat Alyosha on a chair and Mama sat on another after they brought them in so they could sit, then they left us alone in the room for around fifteen to twenty minutes. Olga and I positioned ourselves near the back, leaning against the door and I remember us laughing about something she'd said and I was happy because that was one of the first times she'd talked to me since the infamous "Birthday Cake" incident. We all whispered to each other, almost excitedly and talked to Mama in english even though we weren't supposed to. We had
no idea what was going to happen next.
They came in, a group of them with varying guns and weapons and Yurovsky read a note that said we were to be executed because our family wouldn't stop attacking Soviet Russia. Papa asked "
Chto? CHTO?!" but before he could get an explanation he was shot, and the first round of firing began. Mama was knocked from her chair by bullets, Alexei hit a few times, but he remained upright and screaming. Our footman was shot in the head, and so was Dr. Botkin. The rest of us were still alive. Olga and Tatyana holding each other standing a few feet away from me and Anastasia, I had collapsed against the door, being shot in the thigh but still knocking and screaming for help. Anastasia had crouched down and covered her head with a pillow as she screamed.
They left us alone and Nastya scurried over to Olga and Tatyana and they held each other, crying. Anna Demidova wailed, and Alyosha whined in pain like a fawn bleating for his mother, and I couldn't do a thing. They burst back in, and Nastya came back over to me, and I positioned myself over her protectively. Olga and Tatyana tried to stand and protect us, but Tatyana was shot in the head and her body fell across Olga, who was then shot up through her chin seconds later. Alexei was shot twice again and someone started stabbing at Anna Demidova as they came for me and Nastya. I remember they had to wrap their arms around me from behind and pull me off of her kicking and screaming, "No! No please!
Please!" in between sobs. I heard her scream as they stabbed her. It was horrible and it made my heart hurt as I tried to fight them off. I was stabbed a few times but it didn't do much of anything and eventually I passed out. But not before I heard another shot. And Nastya was quiet. I remember staring up at the ceiling, taking in the bloodstains. Just wishing everything would be
over already. But life is never so nice.
As they were bringing the bodies out to the car, I woke up and started screaming I was in so much pain and shock that I didn't remember how to do anything else. And Ermikov, hearing the screams beat me repeatedly in the face with the but of his gun until I was quiet, smashing my face in. And, finally, everything faded away.
To this day I relive this nightmare, I have always had the feeling that there was someone out there who wanted me dead, that people would try to kill me, that they had before. And I frequently dream about it. Even today I can't stand anything coming at my face, being held from behind makes me iffy, and I absolutely cannot take real screams of terror. They make my stomach curdle and everything comes back, all the blood, the flashes, the gunshots. Because when I hear them I hear Nastya.
Just my memories! I hope you all find them interesting to read.
