Hug to you (((((Mattsgma))))))!!!!!!
Hang in there Sweetie! I really like the way you stood your ground, but also cared to let him know he is loved. My daughter has acted out at times, as memories are surfacing or something is triggering trauma from her past. Or, sometimes stress from our life now stresses her out! But She gets like that, angry abusive (yes a two year old can be abusive). I try to do as you are doing, set some boundaries and still let her know I love her no matter what. (We have a little song, "I love you when you are happy, I love you when you are mad, I love you when you are awake, I love you when you are asleep..." and we go on, adding every possible set of opposites day/night sitting/standing hungry/full, just a funny little song, we are always improvising more to add). Sometimes after she has been very cranky, I catch her singing it to herself.
After the really bad days, I try to either initiate a conversation at a calm time, after a bath, or just waking up, and try and get her to talk. And sometimes she won't elaborate at all, but it comes out in her play, or some strange unexpected comment while driving in the car (it seems to hypnotize them, Carol Bowman touches on this in her book too). On really bad days, I put her in the car and drive. It keeps her strapped in one place, and gives me a chance to calm down! Yes, we have really bad days too. You are not alone.
I remember feelig these things when I was younger too, the sense of hopelessness, that it all seemed so pointless, and I felt so lonely and empty. I didn't feel connected to things around me sometimes. Granted, some this was because I grew up in a very dysfunctional family (addictions, etc.), but I now beleive that much of it also was because I was still mourning the past life loss of my child and her subsequent abuse... although I had no clear memory, the sadness lived within me. So, when my daughter acts out, part of me says,"Oh yeah, I remember that!"
She still struggles, although we have worked through so much. She told me today, that she is sad to get bigger because "you will die". I asked why she thought that and she answered, "because you are nice". I told her I was going to live a long long time. "This time is different," I told her. But I totally understand. We both have moments when we get caught up in the past, and completely forget that everything is ok now! Or maybe it is because everything is ok, that we can finally work through the pain?
I hope this is of some support to you, sharing very openly here. It is a bit scarey to speak so honestly, but purhaps with support we can get through our ordeals together.
with love,
Marg